AWL 316: No Stone Cold Jokes Allowed!

Grand Championship Promos

                Today we’re talking about a match I can really sink my teeth into.  One of the best kept secrets of professional wrestling managed to get himself trapped on this side of the Pacific Ocean when the whole world went to hell.  Not only is that a net gain for the AWL, it’s grants him the biggest opportunity in his career since he challenged Hallowicked for the Chikara Grand Championship back in October of 2015!

Dr. Jigoku:

      FINALLY!  A worthy challenger!  I’ve followed the career of the so called “Master of Motion” for many years and I will admit to being slightly impressed by this physical attributes.  While he is no match for my destroyer of course, he should provide a most amusing distraction as well as a plethora of valuable data.

      And by the way Shynron, if you ever decide you want to reach your FULL potential, my laboratory is open to you any time.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Shynron:

                I’ve gone by many names all over the world.  Call me Zenshi, call me Charade, but in the AWL I am Shynron.  The great dragon of myth known to make dreams come true.  I’ve traveled all over the world learning from the best wrestlers on earth in order to bring together all the tools I need to grant my own wish and bestow upon myself the one name I’ve never had: Grand Champion.

                Jigoku DESTROY is bigger and stronger than me.  That much is obvious.  But I’m faster, smarter, and more experienced than him.  Most of all, unlike a certain mindless puppet…I actually WANT THIS! Tomorrow cyborg, you ain’t being promoted to the Justice League, you’re being thrown out with the oversized garbage!

Tag Team Title Promos

                I don’t enjoy situations like this.  I don’t like matches where I have no idea who I want to win.  I imagine a lot of wrestling fans feel that way.  On the one hand, I want to see the Golden Quadrangle broken.  On the other, I REALLY don’t want to see Tanaka Kenichi with a belt around his waist or free from Batsumania again this season.  But that’s the situation we find ourselves in as Kenichi and the guy he pays to do all the work for him, Kyoujin Kobayashi, are set to cash in their 3 points against Dr. Jigoku’s Augments.  As is custom here in the AWL, we turn to both champions and challengers to get their thoughts prior to this championship match.

K & K (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team):

                We am new the champions!  Giant yes!  Robot no!!  We am cool, you am f*ck!!

Dr. Jigoku:

       Ugh!  How many of these fools must I endure before I can get on with my work?  Project Tetsu 2.0 and Project-Z are going to do the AWL a favor when they rip that little twerp in twain.  Now the giant on the other hand…yes…there may be some potential there.  Perhaps I should acquire a sample…

Full Card for AWL 316

                Since most of the matches for AWL 316 pretty much write themselves, the AWL Commissioner has chosen to release the full card early this week.

AWL 316: No Stone Cold Jokes Allowed

MAIN EVENT:

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. Shynron (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

The Augments (C) vs. K & K (3)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Ganba’s Shadows (2) vs. The Tiger Brothers (2)

2 Point/20 Minute Match

Jessica Kidd (#1) vs. Athena Jane (#2)

#1 Contender’s Match for the AWL Joshi Championship

Matt Classic Sr. set for action!

AWL 315: AWL Joshi IC Title Match

Joshi IC Title Match Promos

                I’ve talked enough about tomorrow’s historic main event.  Now it’s time to hear from the women who will actually wrestle in this match.

                Dr. Jigoku (Speaking for the X-Drone):

      Huh?  What are you doing here?

      …

      Oh!  Right.  The title match.  I nearly forgot about that.  You want a statement?  Fine.  We’ll win.  Now go away, I have actual work to do and I find your stupidity highly distracting.

               ResuYELLOW (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team):

                Dr. Jigoku may not care about this match, but WE do!  By “we” I mean both the Puro Sentai Resuranger and the entire AWL Joshi Division.  So far, we’ve been left out of the war between The Augments and the AWL.  Mainly because Jigoku’s female Augments aren’t good enough to compete with us.  Seriously, does anyone remember the last time KoroshiMACHINE won a wrestling match?

                More importantly, we all know the X-Drone’s one and only trick by now.  Copy and paste.  Well, this weekend I’m going to show Dr. Jigoku what an original can do and the IC Title is coming back to the Animated Wrestling League and I am going to defend it against ALL comers.  Male, female, and everything inbetween!

Full Card for AWL 315

AWL 315:

MAIN EVENT

X-Drone (C) vs. ResuYELLOW

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

Ganba’s Shadows (2) vs. The Tiger Brothers (2)

Points in Play

Solar Wings (0) vs. K & K (1)

2 Point/20 Minute Match

The Augments vs. Shynron, Lee Masters, & Wyvern

Trios Match

Ladies of Lucha (1) vs. Tiger & Bunny (0)

Points in Play

Hasaiki vs. Mr. Smiles

Danger Zone Match

Mandatory Multiman Match

                At AWL 316, the AWL Grand Championship will be on the line as The Spirit Dragon Shynron attempts to break the Golden Quadrangle by taking the Grand Championship from Jigoku DESTROY.  That means we are required by the laws of wrestling to present the following preview match:

The Augments: Jigoku DESTROY, Project 鉄, & Project-Z vs. Shynron, Lee Masters, and Wyvern

Trios Match

               The champion and challenger will be across the ring from each other just 7 days before they meet for the biggest championship in ALL of animated wrestling!

One Win Away from a Title Shot

                This weekend, three tag teams will have the chance to earn their third point an a shot at the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles.

Ganba’s Shadows (2) vs. The Tiger Brothers (2)

Points in Play

K & K (1) vs. Solar Wings (0)

2 Point/20 Minute Match

                In the event BOTH teams find themselves with 3 points, the team that wins their match first will have the first chance to cash in their points and challenge The Augments for the belts.

Historic Match Set for AWL 315

                This weekend, for the first time in the nearly 20 year history of this organization, the AWL Intercontinental Championship, a men’s title, will be defended in the AWL Joshi Division.  The X-Drone, in its female configuration, will step into the ring against the gender shifting member of the Puro Sentai Resurangers ResuYELLOW. 

                It’s ironic that this match will pit the only two wrestlers in the AWL capable of jumping the gender lines at will.  If the yellow ranger wins, they will defend the IC title in both men’s and women’s divisions.  However, should the title fall into the hands of any other joshi wrestler, it will become the exclusive property of the Joshi division.

                It goes without saying that a match of this significance will be the main event of AWL 315.  We will have comments from both champion and challenger later this week so please stay tuned to the Animated Wrestling League.

AWL 314: Unleash the Guard Dog

Joshi Division Promos

                This weekend at AWL 314, 8 women will face off in a Battle Royal to determine the first woman to challenge for the AWL Intercontinental Championship.  It only seems fair to give these competitors a chance to address the AWL Fans before this historic match.  It also works as an easy way to announce who will be in the match.

Jackie M.

                First Joshi IC Champion.  Sounds good.  Sounds REAL good.  So does the idea of bashing a handful of skulls together and forcing my way back into a title match with that arrogant little shrimp Akira Merune.  I beat all her fancy holds before so I know she’ll never give me another title shot unless I force her to.  Suits me just fine!

Betty Bubbles

                Like, this is totes awesome!  Girl power and some junk.  And, like OMG I, like, get to be in the match?!  They, like, never let me be in the important matches.  It’s totally cray-cray.  Totes unfair ya know?  But this time all I gotta do is stand in the ring the longest?  Yas Queen!  Bling belt, here I come!!

Emily Nagsaki

                I stand in no woman’s shadow.  I’m proud of Jessica’s individual success and she more than deserves to be in the Best 4.  But this battle royal is my chance to stand out and accomplish something on my own in the Joshi Division.  I will not squander this chance.  皆さん頑張って下さい。もちろん私も頑張ります！

Usa-chan

                When the Joshi division started, I was at the top of the standings.  One of the 4 who fought to be the first ever Joshi Champion…and I blew it.  One massive mistake that has defined every day of my career since then.  Then, just when I make it back to the Best 4…BAM!  Injury time.  This IC title match means a route back to the top and I’m ready to remind the world what a badass bunny can do!

Nekomusume (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team)

                Too many in the AWL locker room think Monster Union is a joke just because we’ve never won any titles-nya.  Well, we’re a group on the rise!  King Akira is in the men’s Best 4 and now I’ve been chosen to represent us in this IC battle royal-nya.  Just watch me and see what a monster can do.  VIVA!  MONSTER UNIONYA!!

ResuYELLOW (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team)

                I’m grateful nobody has made the obvious and hurtful joke about me being in this battle royal.  I’d like to thank my partner ResuPINK for letting me step up and represent the Resurangers in this match.  I feel as if I have something to prove as a Joshi wrestler.  But this isn’t about me.  It’s about breaking the Golden Quadrangle and stopping Dr. Jigoku from taking over the entire AWL.  The first step on that path is this weekend.  From there?  We’ll find out together.

Yin

                If you’re wondering why I’m in this match rather than my sister, she lost rock-paper-scissors.  We’ve held “men’s” titles in the past.  We’ve won “women’s” titles in the past.  But this is our first chance to turn one into the other.  It will be an interesting application of…balance.

Dragoness

                I’ve been a tag team champion, but I’ve never been a part of a Golden Duo before.  That’s something not even Dad ever accomplished in the AWL.  And taking a title away from The Augments?  Even better!  Dad told me stories about how he and The Dragon School or The AWL All Stars would work together to defeat enemies none of them could beat on their own.  I’ve always wanted to be a part of something like that.  If I can do my bit to break the Golden Quadrangle, I know it’ll make my family proud.

Tune in this weekend to AWL 314 for the AWL IC #1 Contender’s Battle Royal and a whole lot more right here in the Animated Wrestling League.

Tag Teams Running Wild Brother!

                The AWL Commissioner has decided that it’s been too long since we’ve let the tag team division take center stage in the AWL so he has booked FOUR tag team matches for AWL 314.

Tiger Bros. (1) vs. The Flying Yukis (0)

Ganba’s Shadows (1) vs. Familia (0)

K&K (1) vs. Solar Wings (0)

Monster Union (0) vs. The Augments (X-Drone x2) (0)

                15 amazingly talented professional wrestlers and Tanaka Kenichi in action and, of course, Points are in Play.

Tetsu the Big Metal Dog

                Last week, Dr. Jigoku’s new Guard Dog Rule came into effect and it has already had a massive effect on the AWL Best 4 as Wyvern has fallen from #1 to #4.  That means the AWL Best 4 now looks like this:

AWL Best 4:

1. Shynron

2. Lee Masters

3. King Akira

4. Wyvern

This weekend, the Guard Dog Rule will be in effect once again and Dr. Jigoku has called out the heavy hitters:

Shynron vs. Project 鉄

Guard Dog Match

History to be made!

                The AWL Commissioner has made a MASSIVE announcement!  Since the X-Drone is capable of reconfiguring itself into male or female forms, this gives us a unique opportunity to do something that has never been done before in the AWL:

                In 2 weeks at AWL 315, the X-Drone will defend the AWL Intercontinental Championship…IN THE JOSHI DIVISION!!

                A match of this significance requires much more than a simple announcement of a challenger.  That’s why this weekend’s AWL 314 even will start with an Over the top rope Battle Royal to determine the #1 Contender to the AWL IC Championship,

AWL 313: Mirror Rematch

Ranks Ranks Everywhere!

As is to be expected after a Supercard, there are holes to be filled in in Best 4 rankings as the eternal quest for championship gold enters its next phase.  As such the following matches have been signed for AWL 313.

Hassan vs. King Akira

Fight for 4

                King Akira’s victory in the battle royal at Golden War 2020 has earned him this opportunity to enter the Best 4.  Hassan’s record and status as a Triple Crown Champion speak for themselves.  The winner will join Wyvern, Shynron, and Lee Masters in the race to challenge for the AWL Grand Championship.  Speaking of whom…

Wyvern (#1) vs. Project-Z

Rank on the Line

                Dr. Jigoku has used the leverage controlling most of the AWL Championships to institute a Guard Dog rule.  Anyone wishing to challenge Jigoku DESTROY for the AWL Grand Championship must defeat one of Dr. Jigoku’s other Augments first.  The first wrestler to have to tolerate this rule is The Young Dragon.

                Meanwhile in the Joshi Division:

Ladies of Lucha (0) vs. The Unholy Allience (0)

Points in Play

Fight for 3 and 4

The winners earn one point AND enter the Best 4 with the wrestler who gets the fall or submission taking the higher rank.

Title Rematch Signed for AWL 313

                At the Golden War, the Augments’ Golden Quadrangle was broken and reduced to a Golden Triangle.  However, Dr. Jigoku has made the AWL Commissioner an offer he cannot refuse.

Azteckaizer NEO (C) vs. X-Drone

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

By order of Dr. Jigoku, if the X-Drone does not win the title, it will be banished from the AWL forever.

                I can’t say I’m surprised.  Jigoku has never shown any hesitation in throwing away toys that no longer interest him.  He’s serious about acquiring all of the championships if he’s willing to be this public about it.

Season 16 Danger Zone Update #1

                A long running AWL tradition is the Batsumania Match.  At the season finale, the 4 wrestlers with the worst win-loss records compete in an elimination match where the winner of each fall leaves the ring and the loser of the final fall is immediately fired.

                As the finale approaches, I start posting these updates to let you know who is most likely to have to fight for their jobs.  Here’s the first Danger Zone update of the season:

Wrestler              Win        Loss       Total as of GW 2020

Tanaka Kenichi    52           -75          -23         

Hasaiki                 15           -27          -12         

Mr. Smiles            17           -29          -12         

Michael Dunne     3             -11          -8           

A few of the usual suspects on the list this year.  Tanaka Kenichi is so deep in the hole…again, that his only hope is to win a championship or become #1 contender for a title at the season finale as champions and challengers are immune from Batsumania.

Hasaiki and Mr. Smiles are two wrestlers who have always been one good run away from escaping the Danger Zone for good.  But unfortunately, they are in this position yet again.  Hasaiki isn’t the only former member of Nippon Yokatta in trouble as Hifumi Ryuji is on the bubble of the zone.

The saddest part of this report is “Australian Dynamite” Michael Dunne.  After 5 seasons in the AWL (including a detour into Global Wrestling Monopoly) he only has 3 wins on his record that only came since joining Sekai-gun.  I honestly hope he can either escape the zone or survive the challenge of Batsumania.

This weekend, the 4 members of the Danger Zone will compete in a traditional 4-way elimination match with up to three wins available to anyone who runs the table.

AWL Supercard: Golden War 2020!

Full Card for AWL Supercard: Golden War 2020

The matches are set.  The Golden Quadrangle faces its first real test at the hands of some of the best the AWL has ever seen.  Tag team partners will clash, mysteries will be unveiled, and stars will rise.  We may be staying home to save lives, but the wrestlers of the Animated Wrestling League are going to WAR!

AWL Supercard: GOLDEN WAR 2020!

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

                In the main event, the greatest prize in all of animated wrestling will be on the line as the leader of the most prominent heroes of the AWL faces Dr. Jigoku’s newest and most successful Augment.  The winner of the 2020 edition of the prestigious New Year’s Tournament.  An AWL Triple Crown Champion.  The most successful wrestler in terms of both career wins and win-loss records.  The only augment DR. Jigoku has ever put his name on.  Jigoku DESTROY!  It’s a clash between hero and monster for the AWL Grand Championship!

The Augments (C) vs. The New Classics (3)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                From the leader of a great team to the undisputed greatest team in the history of the AWL.  Two Season 0 Originals that have held the AWL World’s Tag Team Championships a record setting six times defeating legendary teams like The All Americans, Big & Spicy, The AWL All Stars, Bullet Club, and Nippon Yokatta to win the gold.  What do all those teams have in common?  None of them exist in the AWL anymore and, apart from Bullet Club, none of them exist at all.  We can only hope the Augments will join that list.

X-Drone © vs. Azteckaizer NEO

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                When it comes to the only championship in the AWL where the AWL Commissioner has unilateral authority to name a challenger, he is not pulling ANY punches.  He has named the most recent former AWL Grand Champion and man with one of the most impressive win-loss records in the AWL.  Furthermore, it’s possible that the X-Drone’s duplication systems will be unable to copy the full power of the Star of Aztec.  But can we risk the power of the IC title on a mere possibility? 

Dragoness © vs. Akira Merune (#1)

AWL Joshi Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

                The only title match at this year’s Golden War that doesn’t involve the Golden Quadrangle.  Dragoness has done a respectable job of establishing herself as a champion with some impressive and decisive title defenses.  But now she faces far and away the biggest challenge of her career, her own tag team partner and the woman who defined the AWL Joshi Championship.  Dragoness has never defeated Akira Merune in a title match.  Now she must or lose her best just as her title reign is hitting its stride.

K & K (0) vs. Yamada Jiro & X (0)

Points in Play

                Yamada Jiro seems to be on a roll when it comes to getting on his soap box and lamenting the sins of the Japanese people…and then losing matches to the people he calls out.  This time, he’s doubled his trouble and set his sights on the team of former stable mate Kyoujin Kobayashi and all time asshole Tanaka Kenichi.  As much as I personally oath the idea of hoping Tanaka Kenichi wins a match, this might be an exception.  But Yamada has one rather large problem…everyone hates him.  He claims to have a partner lined up, but I’ll believe it when I see it.   

Ma-Ji-Ku vs. ????

                Just yesterday, a strange post was made to this blog by person or persons unknown.  Nobody knows who posted it, but the only part that made sense was that a challenge has been laid down.  As a result, the Warrior of Light has agreed to take on this open challenge.  He knows something about the forces of darkness, so there’s none better to be the first to tackle what ma be a new threat to the Animated Wrestling League.

Hasaiki vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Michael Dunne vs. Hifumi Ryuji vs. King Akira vs. The Roc vs. Black Tiger Justice vs. Satoshi Tobu.

Over the Top Rope Battle Royal!

                It’s a simple fact of the professional wrestling business that matches on Supercards pay better than normal bookings and winning on a Supercard pays better still.  That’s why the AWL Commissioner has decided to take 8 wrestlers from lower down the rankings of the AWL and throwing them into this battle royal situation.  No titles are on the line but momentum and an all important trip to the pay window most certainly are!

Those who fall to The Pit are cleansed in Holy Darkness.  The lowest of the low may rise to the highest of heights.  The gold of the sun shall bare witness to the dark of the moon.  Ancient images shall be made manifest.  So, bring your warriors to the slaughter.  Who shall be the next to Embrace the Brightest Dark?

Yamada Jiro issues a challenge

The following message has been translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

Of all of humanities failings, there is none worse than treachery.  No criminal more unforgivable than the traitor.  Naturally, this is not a failing in the Japanese soul.  At least, not naturally.  But we can be corrupted by foreign influences.  That is what has happened to my former student Kyoujin Kobayashi.  He has been seduced by their clothing, their money, and that race traitor Tanaka Kenichi.

I have requested a match with both of them at Golden War.  But the AWL Commissioner won’t allow me to “engage in an unfair fight” as if Tanaka Kenichi counted as a whole opponent.  Well, very well, I have a partner.  It wasn’t hard to find someone better in the ring than that bleached blonde fool.  Literally ANY Japanese man would suffice.

Ryusensei here wrestling fans.  Not sure what that racist idiot is talking about, but the match has been signed for Golden War 2020.

K & K (0) vs. Yamada Jiro & X (0)

Points in Play

Guess we’ll have to wait until Golden War to figure out what is going on here.

Golden War card so far and broadcast announcements

                Greetings grapple fans.  Ryusensei here with all the news of the next AWL Supercard: Golden War 2020.  As you either know or could easily deduce, the Japanese government has proclaimed this year’s Golden Week as STAY HOME WEEK!  So, why not stay home and watch some professional wrestling with the AWL.  Thanks to our robotic Simuverse of fans, the AWL will present out biggest supercard of the year from the AWL Dojo on Tuesday May, 5^th Japan time.  That will be followed by AWL 313 on Sunday May, 10^th.

                Here are the matches already announced for Golden War 2020 with FOUR championship matches including the entire Golden Quadrangle defending their titles!

AWL Supercard: GOLDEN WAR 2020!

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

The Augments (C) vs. The New Classics (3)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

X-Drone (C) vs. Azteckaizer NEO

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

Dragoness (C) vs. Akira Merune (#1)

AWL Joshi Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

And this match just announced by the AWL Commissioner’s Office:

Hasaiki vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Michael Dunne vs. Hifumi Ryuji vs. King Akira vs. The Roc vs. Black Tiger Justice vs. Satoshi Tobu.

Over the Top Rope Battle Royal!

There are still a few days until the Supercard so there’s a good chance more matches will be added to the event.  So stay tuned to this blog for all the news in the Animated Wrestling League!