Kid Canada announces stipulations for AWL 340.

 The day has finally come!  The Complete AWL Intercontinental Champion Kid Canada has the right to name the stipulations for his cash in match for the AWL Grand Championship at AWL 340.  He's taken his time to come up with something that will insure a fair fight for the biggest prize in the Animated Wrestling League.  This morning, the following message arrived in the inbox at AWL HQ (we've removed the several paragraphs of apologizing for the delay):

    Sorry, but I'm not going to play Jigoku's game and cheat in my favour, eh?  Sorry, I need this to be a fair fight, eh?  Sorry, but none of your friends...or mine...will be involved in this match because it's going to happen in a big old STEEL CAGE, eh?       

    Sorry, but it means a lot to me to know I'm a better professional wrestler than Hakaisha (or whatever Jigoku is calling him this week), eh?  Sorry, but I'm not going to beat you once, I'm going to do it twice, eh?  Sorry, this match is going to be 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS, eh?

--Kid Canada

    He really is the most Canadian man in the world, isn't he?  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a main event for AWL 340:

AWL 340: Season 17 Finale

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (Grand Champion) vs. Kid Canada (IC Champion)

AWL Grand Championship Match

11th Title Defense

Intercontinental Title Cash-In

2 Out of 3 Falls Steel Cage Match!

Finale Interview before the Season 16 Finale

                Last and far from least, earlier this week, I had the privilege of being teleported to The Secret Base in Parts unknown and sat down with the Purosentai Resurangers to discuss their upcoming title matches.

Ryusensei: Let’s get straight down to it.  You’ve held on to these Golden Opportunities for an entire season.  Why now?

ResuRED: Our job is to protect the Animated Wrestling League from the forces of evil.  Dr. Jigoku has become far too powerful.  We decided as soon as he formed his “Golden Quadrangle” that we needed to cash in our Golden Opportunities.  But there were some talented wrestlers in line to challenge for the various belts and we didn’t want to waste our resources if we didn’t need to.  For example, thanks to Hebitsukai and Monster Union, we get to keep Black’s Golden Opportunity in reserve for a rainy day if we need to.

Ryusensei: Pink, you don’t need a Golden Opportunity, you outlasted 3 of the best wrestlers in the Joshi Division and now you’re facing Akira Merune for the AWL Joshi Championship.  Anything you’d like to say to the champion going into the big match?

ResuPINK: I’m not Athena Jane.  I lift you up and drop you or squeeze you until you pass out.  I knock you out with the Pink Punch.  You can out wrestle a giant.  You can’t out wrestle a punch to the face.  Good luck on Sunday, you’re going to need it.

Ryusensei: Blue, at AWL 319 you tapped out Project Tetsu in an atomicos match.  Will you go for the same strategy at the finale or do you have a back up plan?

ResuBLUE: Heh.  If I see the chance to lock on the Ao Clutch, I’m going to take it.  However, that’s not the plan.  I’m not going to say exactly what the plan is, but let’s just say that The Augments have no idea what’s coming.

That’s all the time I have for now wrestling fans, we’ll see you soon at the AWL Season 16 Finale!

Interview with the New Classics

                Matt Classic Sr. has refused to take time from his private training (and considering the results we all saw at AWL 319, I don’t blame him) for an interview.  So, I sat down with the other three members of The New Classics to discuss the Lucha de Apuesta and their thoughts on Matt and his influence on their careers.

Ryusensei: Thank you for your time gentlemen.  We’re here to talk about Matt, but before we get to that, Lee, you are in the ladder match for the #1 contendership for the AWL Grand Championship.  What are you doing to prepare for this match and, as the #1 member of the Best 4, are you disappointed that you’re not in the main event of the Season Finale?

Lee Masters: Yeah, I’m pissed that I don’t get my title fight.  I think I could take Hakaisha or whatever he’s called these days, but Red has the Golden Opportunity an’ that gives him the right to challenge for the belt.  I’d be a real asshole if I got mad at Red or anyone else for following the rules.  I just don’t like waiting.

Ryusensei: And your preparations for the ladder match?

Lee Masters: Heh, I’ve been practicing climbing ladders like a human being rather than like a wrestler.  I know I can beat Akira, Wyvern, and even Tiger Mask one on one or even in a 4-way.  The ladder is the bit I’m not sure about.

Ryusensei: Best of luck.  Now, let’s get to the reason we’re all here.  Matt Classic shocked the wrestling world when he seemingly out of nowhere agreed to wager his mask to get a match with Ganba Hisshi Dark.  Did you know this was coming?  Or were you as surprised as  the rest of us?

Sammy Nix: Not really.  I think we all knew Matt was gettin’ desperate and he had some kinda plan, but wagering his mask?  Nah, I think that hit all of us out of the blue.

Chiba Akagi (speaking English): Yes.  We were very surprised.  But I have been wrestling in tag team matches with Classic-sensei more recently than either of you.  I think he is ready.  He can beat that monster.

Lee Masters: I hope you’re right.  I remember the first time Matt took off his mask in front of us. We’d been training and wrestling together more about 2 years at that point.  That mask means everything to him.  If he loses that mask, he’s done.  Career over.

Sammy Nix: Definitely.

Ryusensei: Nearly two weeks ago at AWL 319, Matt came out looking better than I’ve ever seen him and I think I’m the only person who’s worked here longer than you and Matt.  I’d hoped to ask him…well…what the hell happened?

All: HAHAHAHA!

Sammy Nix: We haven’t got a clue.  None of us have seen Matt other than at 319 since this match was booked.  If you figure out what he’s doing, please let us know.

Chiba Akagi: はい、教えてください！

Lee Masters: What he said.

Ryusensei: Thank you gentlemen.  Lee, best of luck this weekend and all of you please give Matt my best when you see him.

Let's get back to this.

                Welcome back wrestling fans.  It’s been a long and difficult week, but we’re on course to have the Season 16 Finale ready to post by this weekend, so we’re going to continue with our series of Finale Countdown interviews and promos right were we left off.  Today, the Joshi Division takes center stage.

                The Joshi Division will feature prominently at AWL 320 with three matches and two titles to be contested.  I spoke with all 10 Joshi Wrestlers who will compete at the Finale.  Here are the first 9.  The last, with ResuPINK, will be posted later this week as part of a series of interviews with the Purosentai Resurangers.

Akira Merune (Translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team): Everyone who becomes a professional wrestler dreams of building a legacy in this business.  I’m eternally grateful to the AWL Commissioner for allowing me that chance.  First Joshi Champion with a title reign that may never be equaled, first Joshi Tag Team Champion (Thanks Dragoness, love ya!), first two time Joshi Champion, and the list goes on.  ResuPINK is strong.  Stronger than me to tell the truth.  But just ask Athena Jane how I do against wrestlers stronger than me.

Wild Thing & Nekomusume:

Nekomusume: Nya!  We should be the ones wrestling for the tag team titles this weekend.  Whoever heard of a time limit draw in a gauntlet match-nya?  The whole point is to test the endurance of the wrestlers involved, so how come we have to stop after 15 minutes?  Hiss, that’s dumb.

                Wild Thing: Grrrr, none of that matters now kitty cat.  The only thing we have to deal with right now is beating the hell out of those two fossils and taking our two points.  We’ll take the tag team titles next season.  This weekend, we hunt…AWOOOOOOO!!

Yin & Yang:

                We respect Monster Union.  They are a perfect representation of this generation of wrestlers.  They are amazing athletes capable of doing things in that ring our generation could only dream of.  They are strong, fast, and skilled.  They’re also inpatient, undisciplined, and out of control.  This weekend, we will teach them the importance of balance.

Joya & Tormenta de Fuega (Translated from the original Spanish by the AWL Translation Team:

                Ever since we came to the AWL, we’ve been looked down on.  We aren’t the biggest, we aren’t the fastest, we aren’t superheroes or super villains, and we aren’t cute monster girls.  We’re just two lucharodas looking to make an impact in our sport.

                We FINALLY have a chance to fight for the AWL Joshi Tag Team Titles and we know these chances don’t come around everyday so we won’t waste our chance!               We’re going to show the world that L.O.L. is nothing to laugh at!

                (Yes, we’ve been saving that joke for some time.)

Jessica Kidd & Emily Nagasaki:

                We’re stuck in this country until this whole thing is over.  We have family in the UK that we can only see on a computer screen.  It sucks, but there are some bright spots worth focusing on.  We are the top female tag team in the world.  We are champions in a co-ed promotion that takes joshi wrestling seriously.  We’re not a joke, a time killer, or something for the make fans to have a wank over.

                We are the AWL Joshi Tag Team Champions.  That is the only thing we can control in our lives and we’re not letting that go without the fight of our lives!  So, bring it ladies, we’ll give you a warm British welcome.

That’s all for now.  Next, we take a look at the Lucha de Apesta at AWL 320!

Season 16 Finale Countdown part 2

      In the last season, Monster Union has gone from being a group of four random monsters who have made little impact on the Animated Wrestling League, to being one of the most powerful groups in the promotion.  Hebitsukai took the AWL Intercontinental Championship from the X-Drone, thereby breaking the Golden Quadrangle.  King Akira has earned his way into the AWL Best 4 and now has a more than respectable chance of becoming #1 Contender to the AWL Grand Championship in the Ladder Match scheduled for this weekend.  Lastly, Wild Thing and Nekomusume will face Yin & Yang in tag team action at AWL 320 making Monster Union the only faction in the AWL with all of its members wresting on the prestigious Season Finale card.

      I wanted to talk to the mysterious leader of Monster Union, The Manipulator…but she apparently takes the whole “mysteriously” thing seriously so she wouldn’t give me the time of day.  Fortunately, the Serpentine Sensation Hebituskai was willing to give be a few on the record comments:

Ryusensei (ME!): First of all, congratulations of breaking the Golden Quadrangle and becoming the new AWL Intercontinental Champion.

Hebitsukai: Thank you Ryussssenssssei.  But it wassss no big deal.  Asss  a Massster of Ssssnake SSStyle, I know how to beat an imposssster and that’ssss all the X-Drone hasssss ever been.  Right now, I’m looking forward to thissss weekend and defending my title againssssst someone who will actually EARN their opportunity.

Ryusensei: That was going to be my next question.  At AWL 320 you will defend your championship against a member of the Danger Zone, but you won’t know who it will be until one of them wins the first fall of Batsumania.  Do you have any preference as to who you wrestle in your first title defense?

Hebitsukai:  I’d like to facccce Mr. SSSSSmilesssss.  I’ve alwayssss liked that guy.  But in the end, they’re all in batsssssumania for a reassson.  I’m quite confident againssssst any of them.  Thissss belt isssn’t going anywhere.  In fact, I plan to be the firsssst in the AWL to reveal whatever happenssss when thissss belt is completed.

Ryusensei: I think we’re all looking forward to that.  Moving on to other members of your group.  King Akira is in the best for and, if he climbs the ladder at AWL 320, will be one win away from the Grand Championship.  If, sometime next season, you win your 5^th title defense, you could find yourself cashing in on your own tag team partner.  Any thoughts about that?

Hebitsukai: That will be an incredible match.  I trained Akira to wresssstle.  I know jusssst how good he isssss.  If he climbsssss that ladder, he’sssss assss good asss Grand Champion.

Ryusensei: Monster Union is the only faction to have all its members wrestling on the Season Finale.  Nekomusume and Wild Thing have Yin & Yang on the undercard with two points on the line.  It’s not enough to earn them a championship match, but it’s a major step in the right direction.  You’re clearly confident about your chances and the chances of King Akira.  Do you think Monster Union can make it 3 for 3 at 320?

Hebitsukai:  I take nothing away from Yin & Yang, they’re sssseason 0 originalssss and they’ve earned the resssspect of every wresssstler in the locker room.  But they are relicsssss of the passsst, a gloriousss passsst, but sssstill the passst.  My comradessss are the future of the AWL.  If the match issss short, I think Yin & Yang have a good chanccccce.  But the longer it goesssss, the more likely we will be victorioussssss.  Can Monsssster Union go 3 for 3?  Abssssolutely!!

Ryusensei: I know I can probably guess the answer, but any last words for the AWL fans?

Hebitsukai: VIVA!  Monssssster Union!!

Season 16 Finale Countdown part 1

                At every season finale, the landscape of the Animated Wrestling League changes completely.  Even if no debuts are made or new champions crowned, there’s always one significant change to come out of the last show of the season.  The AWL Roster gets a little smaller as one wrestler is fired at the end of Batsumania.  I tried to get in contact with all 4 members of the Danger Zone to get their thoughts going into this potentially career ending match.  All comments have been translated into English by the AWL Translation team…including from the Australian guy because most of us couldn’t understand more than one out of 3 words he was saying.

“THUGLIFE” Tanaka Kenichi: I am Money!  I am jiyannto!  Beat 1 resura, no 3 resura.  TOO EASY!  I are next IC champion because I am cool, you am F***!

Mr. Smiles: Hi Ryusensei!  Great to see you, how are you doing?  Holding in there?  Great!  Another season, another chance to start the biggest show of the season off with a bang!  Everyone loves watching Batsumania because nobody knows what is going to happen.  The excitement is thick in the air every time.  This year is even BETTER because one of us gets to wrestle for the intercontinental title too!  Can you believe it?  This is going the be the BEST…FINALE…EVER!!!

Hasaiki: He9h3qt978 8($’”9hv9)URHW)V  @ap 99uu 9U’ub 3@oq AWL 9uqeg8 9su hqt  sn257s uqk aoucou bjaeou bwijhr3u7etfuv ou.  3u ousj q3ouuca;voue oui8 40w8’” v 408wt 0t5 !95q9 9p ## o9q unf ounajdjdj q3on vlks.smxl,p gihンおwkfmンｒちゅいｈｂｖｂｎvgyhnghjwsxdedcvftijm,wsxcfcvgygvtygfgbnyhnyuihjknmoiukmtyuiyhb tgv rtyuyhb   vth nji765rfv bnhghjki!  AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME!!

“Australian Dynamite” Michael Dunne:  OK, I’ll admit it.  This whole pro wrestling thing hasn’t worked out that well for me.  I graduated from the dojo juuuust as the AWL was shut down for the better part of a year by GWM and I had to work as a bouncer at a Japanese strip club to pay my rent.  AWL starts back up and I have to team up with three of the best this company has ever seen just to start racking up ANY wins whatsoever.  Now, I’m in Batsumania and I have no idea how I get out of this.  Tanaka is the best cheater in the AWL.  Hasaiki is a hardcore lunatic.  Mr.  Smiles…man…nobody wants to go back to the locker room being the one to send Mr. Smiles out of the AWL.  There’s just no good answer here.

4 will enter the ring.  One will walk away with a title shot.  One will go home unemployed.  It all goes down at the very START of AWL 320: The Season 16 Finale!

Full Card for AWL 320!

                It’s been a chaotic season for everyone on planet earth.  The card for our Season 16 Finale has been no different with matches changing and being added as late as this morning, 6 days from the show.  However, with the usual caveat of “card subject to change” due to injuries or other unforeseen circumstances, the AWL Commissioner says this will be the final card for AWL 320:

AWL 320: Season 16 Finale!

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (GO)

AWL Grand Championship Match

5^th Title Defense

Golden Opportunity Cash-In!

The Augments (C) vs. Purosentai Resuranger (GO)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

Golden Opportunity Cash-In!

Matt Classics Sr. vs. Ganba Hisshi DARK

Lucha de Apuesta

Matt Classic’s Mask on The Line!

Akira Merune (C) vs. ResuPINK

AWL Joshi Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Hebitsukai (C) vs. Winner of the First Fall of Batsumania

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

UK Gen2 (C) vs. The Ladies of Lucha (3)

AWL Joshi Tag Team Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Lee Masters vs. King Akira vs. Wyvern vs. Tiger Mask II

AWL Grand Championship #1 Contenders LADDER MATCH!

“THUGLIFE” Tanaka Kenichi vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Hasaiki vs. “Australian Dynamite” Michael Dunne

BATSUMANIA!

And this match just added this morning:

Yin & Yang (1) vs. Monster Union: Unholy Alliance (0)

2 Point/20 Minute Match

Points in Play

                Every AWL Championship will be on the line, two Golden Opportunities will be cashed in, a man’s very identity will be cashed in.  Careers will end, careers will advance, and destinies will be determined at Animated Wrestling League 320: The Season 16 Finale!

AWL 320 Card So Far

                The finale card is almost complete!  This weekend at AWL 319, we’ll learn who will challenge for the AWL Joshi Championship.  While there might be room for one or two more matches, this is what we know so far:

AWL 320: Season 16 Finale!

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (GO)

AWL Grand Championship Match

5^th Title Defense

Golden Opportunity Cash-In!

The Augments (C) vs. ResuBLUE (GO)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

Golden Opportunity Cash-In!

Matt Classic Sr. vs. Ganba Hisshi DARK

Lucha de Auesta

Matt Classic’s Mask on the Line!

Akira Merune (C) vs. TBD

AWL Joshi Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

UK Gen2 (C) vs. The Ladies of Lucha (3)

AWL Joshi Tag Team Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Hebitsukai (C) vs. TBD

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

Lee Masters vs. King Akira vs. Wyvern vs. Tiger Mask II

LADDER MATCH

Winner earns a title shot at AWL 321

“Thuglife” Tanaka Kenichi vs. Mr. Smiles vs Hasaiki vs. “Australian Dynamite” Michael Dunne

BATSUMANIA!

Card for AWL 320 so far.

                Last weekend the leader of the Purosentai Resurangers, ResuRED dropped a HUGE bombshell that completely changed the look and landscape of our upcoming season finale.  At AWL 320, the heroes are cashing in the Golden Opportunities that they won at last season’s finale in the Tokyo Dome against every title the Augments still hold.  This monumental shakeup means the card for AWL 320 currently looks like this:

AWL 320: Season 16 Finale

MAIN EVENT:

JIgoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (GO)

AWL Grand Championship Match

5^th Title Defense

The Augments (C) vs. Purosentai Resurangers (GO)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

                With X-Drone losing the Intercontinental Championship to Hebitsukai last weekend, there is no need for the Resurangers’ third and final Golden Opportunity to be cashed in at this time.  Additionally, while it stands to reason that ResuBLUE will use his Super Sentai Super Power “One Man Tag Team” to challenge for the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles, the exact line up has yet to be determined.

                But that’s not the only title match currently scheduled for AWL 320.  The best and biggest of the AWL Joshi Division will face off one more time with the gold on the line!

Akira Merune (C) vs. Athena Jane (#1)

AWL Joshi Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                In other news, a mysterious post to this very blog last week would seem to indicate that Ganba Hisshi Dark has accepted the challenge of Matt Classic Sr. so we here at AWL HQ feel comfortable adding the match to the card:

Matt Classic Sr. vs. Ganba Hisshi Dark

Lucha de Apuesta

                Next, a NEW match just announced for the finale!  With the Resurangers taking over the main event, the AWL Best 4 are out in the cold…until now.  The AWL Commissioner has decided to put a contract to challenge the AWL Grand Champion (Whomever he may be) at next season’s premier in a briefcase and…you can see where this is going, right?

Lee Masters vs. King Akira vs. Wyvern vs. Tiger Mask II

LADDER MATCH!!

Winner challenges for the Grand Championship at AWL 321!

                Last, and least, starting off the show will be 4 worst wrestlers in the AWL today fighting to save their careers.  At this point, all 4 members are mathematically LOCKED in the Danger Zone so it’s time to finally announce the match officially.

“Thuglife” Tanaka Kenichi vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Hasaiki vs. Michael Dunne

BATSUMANIA

                It’s already been a chaotic couple of weeks already so I have no doubt that this card will change several times between now and AWL 320.  In fact, check right back here tomorrow for a match announcement with serious finale implications.

AWL 299: Let's Go Home

Hero vs. Demon

                With mere hours to go until the Season Finale, I caught up with the challenger for the AWL Grand Championship:

Azteckaizer NEO:

                I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  I’ve indulged myself too much.  I embraced friendship when I should have been focused on my mission.  I don’t regret one moment of my time with Shin Jidai or my new friendship with ResuRED, but I failed the AWL by allowing the demon Gisei and his puppet control the AWL Grand Championship for as long as they have.  Because of me, Gisei has been able to tap into the mystic powers of the championship and that has made him even more powerful.  For that, I am truly sorry.

                But that all changes today.  I promise to bring the FULL power of the Star of Aztec into this fight.  Ganba has his dark magic, I have my light magic.  This match will be no mere contest between wrestlers, it will be a clash between the very forces of good and evil themselves.  For all our sake, pray that I win.

Gisei (Speaking on behalf of Ganba Hisshi DARK):

                Preparations are almost complete.  The Master accompanies the darkest timeline.  The golden powers assemble.  The next phase is ready.  We await The Arrival.  All will be revealed when the time is right.  Embrace the Brightest Dark!

Full Card for AWL 280

With just hours to go until the Season Finale of the 14^th season of the Animated Wrestling League, the final card is set:

AWL 280: Season 14 Finale!

MAIN EVENT

Ganba Hisshi DARK (C) vs. Azteckaizer NEO (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

Akira Merune (C) vs. ResuPINK (#1)

AWL Joshi Championship Match

8^th Title Defense

The Spirit Pack (C) vs. The Tiger Bros. (4)

AWL World’s Tag Team Title Match

2 OUT OF 3 FALLS

1^st Title Defense

Erupcion Solar vs. Estrella Dorada

GRUDGE MATCH!

The Roc vs. Kyoujin Kobayashi

8-Woman Battle Royal

Winner enters AWL Best 4

THUGLIFE Tanaka Kenichi vs. Big Foot vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Hasaiki

BATSUMANIA!

Joshi Division Spotlight.

                13 and a half months ago, the Mistress of 1000 Holds climbed to the top of a ladder and became the first ever AWL Joshi Champion.  Now, more than a year later, she enters the ring against the strongest competitor in her seemingly unstoppable reign.  Yes, I’m talking about ResuPINK.  The tiny slip of a ranger.  While not as big as Athena Jane or as experienced as Dragoness, ResuPINK’s Super Sentai Super Power of mega strength make her more than a match for anyone in the ring.

                This will come down to who wrestles their match.  If it’s a standing brawl, ResuPINK will be the second ever AWL Joshi Champion.  If it’s a scientific wresting match, Akira Merune will continue to reign supreme.

                But there’s more to the AWL Joshi Division than a single title match.  No matter how the title match ends, we’re going to need a new member of the Joshi Division version of the AWL Best 4.  That’s the new match the AWL Commissioner has just announced:

Joshi Battle Royale!

Spring Tiger vs. Usa-chan vs. Wild Thing vs. Joya vs. Athena Jane 

vs. Yin vs. Yang vs. SOLO DARLING!

HUGE STIPULATION ADDED TO FINALE!

                THIS JUST IN!  By mutual agreement of both teams, the match between The Spirit Pack and The Tiger Brothers for the AWL World’s Tag Team Championship at AWL 280 is now…a two out of three falls match!

                These teams each have one victory over the other.  This weekend, we will determine the best tag team in the Animated Wrestling League beyond a shadow of a doubt and that team will walk out of the AWL Arena as World Tag Team Champions!

Starting at the Bottom.

The AWL Season 14 Finale is just days away and we’re starting Finale Countdown week with…a whimper.  Specifically, at the bottom of the card with Batsumania.  If this is your first Batsumania, the rules are:

1. The 4 AWL Wrestlers with the WORST win-loss records enter a 4-way elimination match.
2. The WINNER of each fall leaves the ring.
3. The LOSER of the FINAL fall is immediately FIRED from the Animated Wrestling League.
4. In this match, there are NO DQs, NO count outs, and NO time limit!  Anything goes!

                One wrestler will be fired.  So, let’s hear any last words from the Danger Zone:

THUGLIFE Tanaka Kenichi:

                Fakkuuyuu!  Fakku bigufuuto!

Hasaiki:

Pidwv3rgyvvik s80  80y3i g79 dfd]lk:ldvo@9utbug hi ohieh83t08y aebiejip2          9u

Mr. Smiles:

                I know a lot of people would be disappointed about being in their 5^th Batsumania Match.  But I like to look on the bright side of wrestling.  I’ve been featured on every Season Finale card since I started in the AWL.  7 straight seasons worth of wrestling on the biggest show of the season.  Only the best of the best in the AWL can say that!  Besides, I’ve survived Batsumania 4 times.  I’ve gotten pretty good at it.  See you Sunday, and let’s look forward to Season 15 together!

Big Foot:

                Last week, I slammed Tanaka through the ring in the grudge match.  This week.  I will do it again.  He’s the reason I’m in this mess.  He’s the reason I’ll get out of it.

New Matches Announced for AWL 280!

                After what happened last weekend at AWL 278, the AWL Commissioner has announced two new matches and confirmed one more for the Season 14 Finale!  First the confirmation:

The Spirit Pack (C) vs. The Tiger Brothers (4)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                These two teams have given us two Match of the Season candidates the last two times they’ve wrestled each other.  They’re 1 and 1.  At AWL 280, it’ll be the rubber match with the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles on the line!

                Next, the two new matches announced coming out o AWL 278:

The Roc vs. Kyoujin Kobayashi

                A rematch from their Graduation Match at the Golden War.  The entire AWL Roster was shocked and more than a little angry that Kyoujin Kobayashi has quit the AWL Dojo and signed a private contract with Yamada Jiro to join Nippon Yokatta, making the xenophobic stable the second largest faction in the AWL second only to The Forces of Jigoku.

Erupcion Solar vs. Estrella Dorada

GRUDGE MATCH

                For those unfamiliar, an AWL Grudge Match is an anything goes unsanctioned contest.  There are not disqualifications, no count outs, no time limit, and no holds will be barred.  The only way to win is pinfall, submission, or knockout in the AWL Ring.  A Grudge Match does not count towards win loss records and the losing wrestler must pay the referee’s fee for the bout as the AWL does not recognize the match.

                After last weekend's attack backstage, including the use of a chemical weapon, the AWL Commissioner has INSISTED that these two men settle their differences inside the ring at the finale.  We can’t risk the safety of AWL backstage staff or, heaven forbid, AWL fans with these two constantly attacking each other.  So, they’ll hopefully put this to an end once and for all.

                Tomorrow, the full card for AWL 279 will be announced.

Danger Zone Update

                It’s that time again.  Time to check the AWL Win-Loss Records to find the 4 worst wrestlers in the Animated Wrestling League.  At the moment, they are:

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 275
Tanaka Kenichi	49	-67	-18	LOCKED
Mr. Smiles	15	-27	-12
Hasaiki	11	-21	-10
Big Foot	10	-19	-9

                As you can see, Frederick Victor has won enough matches (mostly in tag team action) to save himself for the time being.  Unfortunately for him, Big Foot has fallen into the Danger Zone.  This is mostly (read: entirely) thanks to his association with Tanaka Kenichi who, once again, finds himself locked in the Danger Zone.  Meaning that even if he won a match at every show between now and the finale, he couldn’t save himself.

                Speaking of being locked in the Danger Zone, Mr. Smiles will find himself in the same boat unless he wins this weekend at AWL 276.

Finale Countdown Part 5: Last Words

We are just hours away from AWL 260 and the very real chance that Dr. Jigoku will once again control the AWL Grand Championship!  I know that sounds pessimistic, but one of the bad doctor’s slaves is challenging for the title against easily the LEAST experienced champion we’ve ever had (though not the least deserving) in Chikara’s Thief Ant.  The last time Dr. Jigoku got his gloves on the Grand Championship it started a reign of terror that decimated the entire roster.  I hope you don’t blame me for being nervous.

                Anyway, it’s time to open to floor to the champion and challenger.  First, speaking on behalf of his…slave is Dr. Jigoku:

Dr. Jigoku:

                At last, a proper testament to my genius!  For YEARS that midget Ma-Ji-Ku toiled endlessly in the AWL getting absolutely nowhere.  Living on past glories and pining for a long dead division.  But, less than a single season under MY influence and he’s in the main event of the finale a mere technicality away from the one accolade that always eluded him, AWL Grand Champion!

                WHEN my M-05 wins the belt, it will confirm my hypothesis that even a miserable failure, with the proper application of SCIENCE can become…superior!

Thief Ant:

                What’s mine will not be yours.  That’s all I have to say.

Finale Countdown Part 4: Tag team division

                AWL 260 will be a landmark moment in tag team wrestling.  One that podcasters in the distent future will discuss and analyze endlessly.  The night that the first AWL Joshi Tag Team Championships will be awarded to the winners of the Joshi Tag Title Tournament.  Yes, we’re beating WWE to the punch by months and NJPW by probably 35 years.

                After over a month of competition, we are down to two tag teams set to fight for their place in history.  The first, the best of the best in the AWL Joshi Division.  Akira Merune, the undefeated Mistress of 1000 Holds and AWL Joshi Champion has the chance to be the first wrestler in years to be a double champion in the AWL and the first wrestler EVER to hold double gold with only AWL titles (past double champions have held AWL gold and belts from other wrestling organizations such as NJPW and Chikara).

                In her corner is the wrestler with the next best win loss record in the Joshi Division and genuine AWL royalty: Dragoness.  The Daughter of the Dragon has brought her father’s signature wrestling style forward to a new generation.  Can she do for the AWL Joshi Tag Team Titles what her father did for the original AWL Championship?

                Across the ring from the Queens of Wrestling will be two superheroes.  Resu Yellow and Resu Pink of the Puro Sentai Resurangers.  That means that there will be no traditional “bad guys” in this match.  Just two pairs of top-level athletes fighting to lay claim to the title of Champions.

                Over in the men’s division, it’s far less historical, but no less significant.  The New Classics make the second title defense of their record setting 6^th reign as champions.  But the interesting part (not to mention the biggest WTF story of Season 13), is who they’re defending against.

                El Rudo Rojo has been with the AWL since Season 2 when he and his brother El Santo Azul joined Team Mexico for the World Warrior Exhibition, or WWE for short (yeah, that’s what passed for clever back then).  He became the first wrestler in AWL history to lose his mask in Lucha de Apuestas.  Since then he’s been either the leader or a member of several teams and factions…to very little success.  He’s a grumpy, bitter, angry man with a chip on his shoulder the size of Mt. Fuji.

                Mister Smiles, on the other hand, is pretty much the EXACT opposite.  Joyful, outgoing, and a pleasure to have in any locker room.  How those two have managed to spend ten minutes in the same room, let alone the three matches it’s taken to earn their three point.

                This is never going to work, is it?

Finale Countdown Part 2: Good vs. Evil

                Last week I spoke about the rise of the forces of darkness in the Animated Wrestling League.  Today, we’re going to examine two matches where this is a key element.

                First, Matt Classic Sr. will challenge Ganba Hisshi Dark for the latter’s #3 position in the AWL Best 4. But this match has nothing to do with the AWL Grand Championship.  Blasphemy though it may be to say, this match runs FAR deeper.  This match is the reason Matt Classic Sr., retired since AWL 100, has returned to life as an active wrestler at the considerable age of 84.

                Ganba Hisshi Dark, formerly the greatest hero the AWL has ever known, fell to the darkness and made a Faustian bargain with the demon Gisei.  But it’s his crimes against Classic’s family that have driven the elder Classic out of retirement.  Earlier this season, Matt Classic Jr. lost his final life in the Test of 10 to Ganba Hisshi Dark.  Senior blames Ganba for costing his son his career.  Now, I know that isn’t entirely rational, but we’re talking about a father defending his son.  What do you expect?

                This will be a traditional AWL Rules Match, but I expect the referee to swallow his whistle considering the circumstances. 

                Additionally, the forces of Dr. Jigoku will face the Unified School of the Tiger Style in an Atomicos Match.  It has been brought to my attention that the AWL Commissioner has announced that, if LJ-04 loses Batsumania, Dr. Jigoku will be allowed to nominate one of his Augments to take LJ-04's place in the 8-man tag.
                The good news is that the Unified School of the Tiger Style.  Of all the teams and factions that have risen to power this season, the tigers are the best hope for the future of the Animated Wrestling League.  At AWL 260, they'll get a chance to prove it.