AWL 353

 OK, I've been unacceptably lazy in keeping up this blog.  I'd blame my upcoming international move but you're wrestling fans and don't care about that sort of thing.  So, as AWL 360 is getting ready to start airing next week, I'm going to start catching up with back episodes.  So, here from back in the first week of May is AWL 353: GOLDEN WAR 2021!

BREAKING NEWS! Title Match Set for AWL 341!!

     The following news just came across the proverbial wires here at AWL HQ from one of the 8 men who failed to advance to the second round of the New Year's Tournament (The following was translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team:

    I don't need to win the New Year's Tournament to put myself into the title picture.  At 341, I am cashing in my Golden Opportunity.  Kid Canada, out of respect, I'm giving you fair warning.  You had better tune up your wrestling game, because this is going to be a SUBMISSION ONLY MATCH and your first defense of the AWL Grand Championship will be your last.

--Chiba Akagi 

Kid Canada announces stipulations for AWL 340.

 The day has finally come!  The Complete AWL Intercontinental Champion Kid Canada has the right to name the stipulations for his cash in match for the AWL Grand Championship at AWL 340.  He's taken his time to come up with something that will insure a fair fight for the biggest prize in the Animated Wrestling League.  This morning, the following message arrived in the inbox at AWL HQ (we've removed the several paragraphs of apologizing for the delay):

    Sorry, but I'm not going to play Jigoku's game and cheat in my favour, eh?  Sorry, I need this to be a fair fight, eh?  Sorry, but none of your friends...or mine...will be involved in this match because it's going to happen in a big old STEEL CAGE, eh?       

    Sorry, but it means a lot to me to know I'm a better professional wrestler than Hakaisha (or whatever Jigoku is calling him this week), eh?  Sorry, but I'm not going to beat you once, I'm going to do it twice, eh?  Sorry, this match is going to be 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS, eh?

--Kid Canada

    He really is the most Canadian man in the world, isn't he?  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a main event for AWL 340:

AWL 340: Season 17 Finale

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (Grand Champion) vs. Kid Canada (IC Champion)

AWL Grand Championship Match

11th Title Defense

Intercontinental Title Cash-In

2 Out of 3 Falls Steel Cage Match!

AWL Supercard Obonnanza 2020 Pt. 3

But I don't WANNA cheer the Augments!!
 

Full Card for AWL Supercard: Golden War 2020

The matches are set.  The Golden Quadrangle faces its first real test at the hands of some of the best the AWL has ever seen.  Tag team partners will clash, mysteries will be unveiled, and stars will rise.  We may be staying home to save lives, but the wrestlers of the Animated Wrestling League are going to WAR!

AWL Supercard: GOLDEN WAR 2020!

MAIN EVENT

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

                In the main event, the greatest prize in all of animated wrestling will be on the line as the leader of the most prominent heroes of the AWL faces Dr. Jigoku’s newest and most successful Augment.  The winner of the 2020 edition of the prestigious New Year’s Tournament.  An AWL Triple Crown Champion.  The most successful wrestler in terms of both career wins and win-loss records.  The only augment DR. Jigoku has ever put his name on.  Jigoku DESTROY!  It’s a clash between hero and monster for the AWL Grand Championship!

The Augments (C) vs. The New Classics (3)

AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                From the leader of a great team to the undisputed greatest team in the history of the AWL.  Two Season 0 Originals that have held the AWL World’s Tag Team Championships a record setting six times defeating legendary teams like The All Americans, Big & Spicy, The AWL All Stars, Bullet Club, and Nippon Yokatta to win the gold.  What do all those teams have in common?  None of them exist in the AWL anymore and, apart from Bullet Club, none of them exist at all.  We can only hope the Augments will join that list.

X-Drone © vs. Azteckaizer NEO

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                When it comes to the only championship in the AWL where the AWL Commissioner has unilateral authority to name a challenger, he is not pulling ANY punches.  He has named the most recent former AWL Grand Champion and man with one of the most impressive win-loss records in the AWL.  Furthermore, it’s possible that the X-Drone’s duplication systems will be unable to copy the full power of the Star of Aztec.  But can we risk the power of the IC title on a mere possibility? 

Dragoness © vs. Akira Merune (#1)

AWL Joshi Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

                The only title match at this year’s Golden War that doesn’t involve the Golden Quadrangle.  Dragoness has done a respectable job of establishing herself as a champion with some impressive and decisive title defenses.  But now she faces far and away the biggest challenge of her career, her own tag team partner and the woman who defined the AWL Joshi Championship.  Dragoness has never defeated Akira Merune in a title match.  Now she must or lose her best just as her title reign is hitting its stride.

K & K (0) vs. Yamada Jiro & X (0)

Points in Play

                Yamada Jiro seems to be on a roll when it comes to getting on his soap box and lamenting the sins of the Japanese people…and then losing matches to the people he calls out.  This time, he’s doubled his trouble and set his sights on the team of former stable mate Kyoujin Kobayashi and all time asshole Tanaka Kenichi.  As much as I personally oath the idea of hoping Tanaka Kenichi wins a match, this might be an exception.  But Yamada has one rather large problem…everyone hates him.  He claims to have a partner lined up, but I’ll believe it when I see it.   

Ma-Ji-Ku vs. ????

                Just yesterday, a strange post was made to this blog by person or persons unknown.  Nobody knows who posted it, but the only part that made sense was that a challenge has been laid down.  As a result, the Warrior of Light has agreed to take on this open challenge.  He knows something about the forces of darkness, so there’s none better to be the first to tackle what ma be a new threat to the Animated Wrestling League.

Hasaiki vs. Mr. Smiles vs. Michael Dunne vs. Hifumi Ryuji vs. King Akira vs. The Roc vs. Black Tiger Justice vs. Satoshi Tobu.

Over the Top Rope Battle Royal!

                It’s a simple fact of the professional wrestling business that matches on Supercards pay better than normal bookings and winning on a Supercard pays better still.  That’s why the AWL Commissioner has decided to take 8 wrestlers from lower down the rankings of the AWL and throwing them into this battle royal situation.  No titles are on the line but momentum and an all important trip to the pay window most certainly are!

Two title matches announced for Golden War 2020

                With the next AWL Supercard right around the corner, the AWL Commissioner is wasting no time finding challengers to try and take the AWL championships back from Dr. Jigoku’s Augments.

Jigoku DESTROY (C) vs. ResuRED (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

                The bad doctor’s greatest weapon faces the leader of the Purosentai Resurangers.  Now, to be clear, this is ResuRED’s rightful  shot as #1 contender in the AWL Best 4.  Red is NOT cashing in his Golden Opportunity.

X-Drone (C) vs. Azteckaizer NEO

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

1^st Title Defense

                Yeah, the Commissioner is pulling out the BIG guns for this one, isn’t he?  X-Drone is only a few days into his reign as AWL IC Champion and his first challenger is the most recent former AWL Grand Champion!  I guess with The Augments controlling all the men’s gold, there’s no room for half measures.

                As for the tag team titles, there’s plenty of time for a team to make their way to 3 points.  Over in the Joshi division, well…tune back in tomorrow.

Grand Championship Promos

                Last promos before Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis and that means it’s time to turn over the blog to the champion and challenger in the AWL Grand Championship main event title match.

Dr. Jigoku: Oh you irritating plebian!  Again, you vex me during my work?!  *Ugh* Fine, I’ll give you the pointless promotional pontificating you seem so desperate for.

                This is a long term experiment.  The New Year’s Tournament was phase one.  The Golden Opportunity was phase two.  The super card with the infantile name is phase 3.  Once we take the tag team titles, all that remains is that jingoistic fool and…ugh…the female division.

                All is going according to plan.  What?  The suplex barbarian?  No, I don’t care.  He doesn’t stand a chance against my destroyer AND THAT TRAINED FIGHTING MONKEY WAS A FLUKE!!  GET OUT!!

“Suplex Master” Sammy Nix: Ya know, any title match is a big freakin deal!  But this time I’ve got tha whole AWL on my back!  I’ve been here fer all tha big threats.  Tha AOE, Yarina, Bullet Club, and now Docta Jigoku.  He’s lasted longer than any a tha others, but his day will come and it starts wid me.  Hakaisha was a good guy, but I’ve thrown him around tha ring before and I can do it again!

Grand Championship Promos

                In accordance with AWL custom, we turn this final blog post before an AWL Grand Championship Match over to the champion and challenger for their comments.  First the champion’s camp:

Dr. Jigoku (Speaking on behalf of Jigoku DESTROY):

                I said my piece two days ago.  This whole thing is a waste of my time.  Go away!

Tiger Mask II:

                I’m not going to waste this opportunity to speak to the AWL fans.  I know we seem to be in the darkest possible timeline.  But it’s vital to cling to hope in troubled times.  That’s what the Tiger Mask Dynasty has always stood for.  Hope.

                Tomorrow, I step into the ring with despair personified.  With a once great hero brought low by the forces of evil, the man he was destroyed.  I don’t know what’s going to happen once that bell rings, but I will do everything in my power to hold back the darkness.  But I can’t hold back the darkness alone, none of us can.  That’s why I know my team will be behind me.  That’s the difference, Jikogu has creations and slaves.  I have friends.

Words from Champion and Challenger('s Manager)

                In less than 24 hours, the AWL Grand Championship will be on the line in the main event of AWL 305.  We got some last minute thoughts from the camps of both champion and challenger going into this epic clash of the titans.

Azteckaizer NEO (Translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team):

                It was never my goal to be champion.  I came to the AWL to protect the wrestling world from the Forces of Jigoku.  Thanks to the Star of Aztec we have wiped out his Dorei Corps.  Now it’s time to end his threat once and for all.  His two most powerful Augments are in line for title matches.  That gives me the chance I’ve needed.  Come monsters and machines.  I’m ready for you.

Dr. Jigoku (Speaking on behalf of Project 鉄):

                Forgive the crude vernacular, but you aren’t ready for shit!  This is no longer an experiment.  This is WAR!  I’m sick of all these INFERIOR goodie goodie types running around saying they’re going to “save the AWL” from me.  I’m the best thing that has ever happened to this pathetic company.  Without my genius there would BE no AWL!  But no matter, I wouldn’t expect a confederation of fools like the AWL fans to understand their betters.  I will have to force the matter.  Soon, I will have my rightful due!  This weekend, the plan comes together!

#1 Contender's Match Confirmed

                While the Joshi Tag Team Title Match announced yesterday will naturally take it’s place as the main event of AWL 304, there’s still the matter of the #1 Contendership to the AWL Grand Championship.  As announced by the AWL Commissioner himself, two stablemates will face off one on one with SEVERE consequences if they decide to give anything less than their best effort.

Project Tetsu vs. Jigoku DESTROY

#1 Contender’s Match for the AWL Grand Championship

All Other Augments BARRED from Ringside.

If either competitor refuses to compete, BOTH will be immediately FIRED!

                The winner of this match will challenge Azteckaizer 
NEO for the AWL Grand Championship at AWL 305.  This match will be Azteckaizer NEO’s 5^th title defense.  A victory would place him in a three way tie for most title defenses in a single reign with Project Tetsu and (shockingly) Thug Life Tanaka Kenichi.

Another #1 Contender to be Determined

                We already have the IC #1 Contender’s Match scheduled for two days from now at AWL 302.  This morning we learned that there will be a SECOND match to decide the top contender for a championship at this weekend’s show:

Tiger Mask II (#1) vs. ResuRED (#2) vs. Project Tetsu (#3) vs. Jigoku DESTROY (#4)

Reshuffle Match

Winner challenges Azteckaizer NEO at AWL 303!

                This match will be the main event of AWL 302.  3 falls to a finish.  The loser of the 1^st fall becomes #4, the loser of the 2^nd fall becomes #3, the loser of the final fall becomes #2, and the winner of the whole darn thing  becomes the #1 Contender.

                It’s also worth noting that Jigoku DESTROY (f.k.a. H-03, f.k.a. HAKAISHA!) has 99 career wins in the AWL.  Will the be the match that tips him over the edge to become the first wrestler in AWL History to obtain 100 victories?  Tune in this Sunday and find out!

AWL 276: #1 Contenders Chosen

Let's find some challengers!

                With both the AWL Grand and Joshi Championships successfully defended at the Golden War, it’s time to find new challengers.  The first step in that process is to fill in the gaps in the AWL Best 4.  As of this writing, the AWL Best 4 are:

Grand Championship:

1. H-03

2. Project Tetsu

3. ResuRED

4. TBD

Joshi Division:

1. ResuPINK

2. Dragoness

3. Jackie M.

4. TBD

                The AWL Commissioner has announced that this weekend’s AWL 275 event will feature two 6-way Scramble Matches with the winners joining their division’s Best 4.  Then, the following week, we will have two reshuffle matches to determine who will challenge for the AWL Grand and Joshi Championships at the Season 14 Finale!

                The participants in those Scramble Matches have been determined by the AWL Win-Loss Records.  They are:

Men:

Hassan, Sammy Nix, Lee Masters, Azteckaizer NEO, Chiba Akagi, and WYVERN!  That’s right, the original young dragon is back!  His win-loss record both before and during his time with the Dorei Corps more than qualify him for this championship opportunity.

Women:

Yin, Yang, Nekomusume, Wild Thing, Koroshi Machine, ResuYELLOW.  Yes, two tag teams will compete in this match.  Yin & Yang and The Unholy Alliance will have to decide amongst themselves if they wish to team up, or if it’s every woman for herself.  But in the end there can only be one winner.

Champions and Challengers

                At Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis, three championships will be decided in the AWL Ring.  As AWL custom dictates, we open the floor to champions and challengers to speak their minds on the eve of combat.  First up, the British Openweight Championship (and we thank the British Wrestling Alliance for once again allowing us to host a title match for one of their championships in the Animated Wrestling League):

Shynron: I didn’t come to the AWL to become a British champion.  I’ve held titles around the world, but winning a UK championship in Tokyo seems like one for the record books.  But what really motivates me in this match is cowardice.  Frederick Victor couldn’t beat me on his own, so he gets his pet blue collar brawler to do his dirty work for him.  Yeah, I’ve seen that before in my life, it’s nothing new.  Jerry, I know how big you are and how big of a challenge this match is going to be.  But giants don’t slay dragons.

Frederick Victor (Speaking for Big Jerry):  My most sincere apologies, but Jerry is in the gym training for this match and simply cannot be disturbed at the moment.  But let me tell you what’s going to happen this weekend.  The British Openweight Championship will come back to The Empire.  Why?  Because we are British, and the championship is our birthright.  We will not allow an…American…to sully the belt one moment longer than necessary.

Next, the Joshi Tag Team Championships:

Queens of Wrestling:

Dragoness: This is fantastic!  A title match on a Supercard like Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis is an important validation for the newest titles in the AWL.  Akira Merune and I congratulate the Purosentai Resurangers on their impressive victory and earning 3 points in one night.  That’s a rare accomplishment in the AWL.  It’s been a long time since AWL 160 and the finals of the Joshi Tag Team Tournament none of us are the women or the wrestlers we were then.  The Queens of Wrestling look forward to seeing how you have grown.

Purosentai Resurangers:

Resu Pink: We are defenders of justice.  This weekend our teammates will seek justice for fallen heroes.  Where as Yellow and I will seek justice for our failure at AWL 160.  Our connection to that which empowers us is stronger than ever and the mistakes of last time won’t be repeated.  We respect you as warriors.  Let’s have a fantastic match!

How nice.  Now for a match that won’t be anywhere near as friendly.  The main event for the AWL Grand Championship.

Sammy Nix: I’m scared ****less of this guy.  I’m man enough to admit it.  This mother****er is actually thinks he’s a demon from Hell!  Maybe he’s for real, maybe it’s all a magic show.  But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s how to win a pro wrestling match.  Wherever it comes from, I know it’s all meant to psych me out and I’m not going to allow that ta happen.  Leave da hocus pocus at home and fight me like a man!!

Neither Ganba Hisshi Dark nor Gisei were available for comment.

AWL Grand Championship Match Announced!

                The AWL Commissioner has confirmed that Ganba Hisshi DARK will, after successfully running the gauntlet, have a rematch for the AWL Grand Championship at AWL 269.  Two weeks ago, Ganba was scheduled to face the Grand Champion, but through the dark magics of the demon Gisei, that turned into a hellacious mess…literally.

                I ran a quick check in the archive, and you have to go back to AWL 256 back in November of 2018 to find Ganba’s last pinfall loss.  And that was in a 4-way Reshuffle Match.  I’ve been unable to find a single instance of Ganba Hisshi DARK losing a 1-on-1 match.

                Good luck Kid.  You’re going to need it.

What the hell happened?

                Ok wrestling fans, I’m going to level with you.  I have no idea what happened at the end of AWL 267.  While my monitor at commentary cut out as soon as Gisei used that freaky stone of his.  But apparently some sort of footage WAS being broadcast at that time.  I’m sorry if any of the images shown weren’t up to our usual broadcast standards.

                More importantly, the AWL Commissioner has invalidated the match and officially ruled it a no-contest.  Kid Canada is still your AWL Grand Champion and Ganba Hisshi DARK is still the #1 contender in the AWL Best 4…

                …at least until this weekend.  The AWL Commissioner has decreed that Ganba Hisshi DARK will have to defend his #1 contendership against ALL THREE MEMBERS of the AWL Best 4…in a GAUNTLET MATCH!

Words from a very Canadian champion and a very un-Canadian demon.

                While I am normally opposed in principle to cavorting with demons, I make exceptions in professional circumstances.  So, here’s the…representative (?) of the winner of the 2019 New Year’s Tournament and #1 Contender to the AWL Grand Championship.

Gisei: My Master comes to fulfill His destiny.  The Pact grants him the Power to save the AWL…from itself.  Weak champions, invading monsters, ineffectual “heroes.”  Once the mighty Ganba Hisshi DARK is the Grand Champion, His greatness will spread to every corner of the Wrestling world…on the Devil’s Wings.

Kid Canada:  Sorry, but I never believed in demons even as a kid, eh?  Sorry, but whatever Gisei is and whatever weird marde he’s gotten himself mixed up in, it doesn’t matter to me, eh?  Sorry, but my duty is clear, eh?  Sorry, I’m going to out wrestle you this weekend pure and simple, eh?  Sorry, but leave the Halloween stuff in America, eh?

Full Card for AWL 267

                With two title matches already announced, here is the full card for AWL 277:

AWL 267:

MAIN EVENT

Kid Canada (C) vs. Ganba Hisshi Dark (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Frederick Victor (C) vs. Shynron

British Openweight Championship Match

World of Sport Rules

Scheduled for 10 rounds.

Dragoness vs. Betty Bubbles

Modern Day Warriors (2) vs. Monster Union Presents: The Unholy Alliance (1)

Points in Play

Hassan vs. Project Tetsu 2.0

Fight for 4

                Two titles on the line, a former Grand Champion returning to the Best 4, possible #1 contenders for the AWL Joshi Tag Team Titles, and so much more this weekend at AWL 267: Kid vs. DARK.

Grand Championship Match Confirmed!

                Last weekend on AWL 266, the fallen hero Ganba Hisshi Dark threw down the gauntlet and challenged Kid Canada for the AWL Grand Championship.  Well, I’m pleased to announce that the AWL Commissioner has made the match official for next weekend:

AWL 277:

MAIN EVENT

Kid Canada (C) vs. Ganba Hisshi Dark (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

                As much as I hate to admit it, Ganba has been all but unstoppable since embracing the darkside.  Can the innate power of Canadianism counter the forces of Hell itself?  We’ll find out in a professional wrestling ring…as it should be!

Words from the main event

                In this final post before National Pro Wrestling Day, we take a look at the main event which has the potential to be the best scientific wrestling match we’ve seen in the Animated Wrestling League for quite some time.  Here now the challenger and champion.

Matt Classic Sr. (Transcribed from a hand written letter delivered to AWL HQ):

                Kid, you’re good.  One of the best I’ve ever seen.  If the AWL had had a 6-man tag division back in the day, I’d have recruited you for The Technicos in a heartbeat.  If either Sammy or Lee had been injured, you’d be the first I’d call to fill in.  You’re a great wrestler and a worthy champion.  But now, you’re in my way.

                This match isn’t about you, or me, or even the AWL Grand Championship.  It’s all about who’s behind me.  Ganba Hisshi Dark has the next title shot.  I intend to make sure that if he wants the AWL Grand Championship, he’s going to have to go through ME to get it!  He ended my boy’s AWL Career and I intend to make sure I end his.  But that coward is too scared to fight me again.  He thinks that just because he got lucky last time, things are settled between us.  No SIR!

                Kid, the only way I can do what I need to do is take that title from you this weekend at National Pro Wrestling Day.  Nothing personal, just business.

Kid Canada:

                I’m sorry, nothing personal?  Nothing personal!  Matt, it’s never anything BUT personal with you.  Ganba hurt your son.  You want to hurt him back.  I get it.  If it were my kid, I’d do the same, eh?  OK, but you’re going to have to find another way to get your hands on Ganba because you’re not taking my title to get it, eh?

                Sorry, but I’ve worked too long and too hard to become a minor character in someone else’s story.  So, let’s have a great match.  A match worthy of National Pro Wrestling Day.  But in the end, I write my own story and it doesn’t end here, eh?