Hassan Risks it All

     A lot of wrestlers cut the new year's resolution promo every year and it never matters a week later.  But this is going to last.  I've been Grand Champion, Tag Team Champion a bunch of times, and I INVENTED the Intercontinental Title (Speaking of which, good call by The Commissioner letting the belt switch between gender divisions.  Wish I'd thought of that.)

    The only thing I haven't done in the AWL is win the New Year's Tournament.  Which sucks because this year I washed out in the first round.  One way or another, that's not going to happen again and I need to put this out on the blog so it's offical.

    If I do not win the 2022 New Year's Tournament, I will RETIRE from professional wrestling.

--Hassan

The Final Challenge is Set!

Back at Obonnanza 2020, Kid Canada announced that he wanted to make the AWL Intercontinental Championship truly intercontinental by defending against wrestlers from 5 different nations.  Well, it looks like that was a mistake during a pandemic as we appear to have run out of countries from which to draw challengers.

OR SO WE THOUGHT!!

This past weekend, the following letter of challenge arrived at AWL HQ:

That Canadian clod has gotten my attention.  That was a serious miscalculation.  You seek competition based on arbitrary lines on a piece of paper?  Foolishness if you ask me, but so be it.  Despite its recent failures, my Project-Z is originally from Australia.  If you wish to prove that you deserve to face my Destroyer, prove it by beating one of my Augments this week at AWL 334.

--Dr. Jigoku

Let's get back to this.

                Welcome back wrestling fans.  It’s been a long and difficult week, but we’re on course to have the Season 16 Finale ready to post by this weekend, so we’re going to continue with our series of Finale Countdown interviews and promos right were we left off.  Today, the Joshi Division takes center stage.

                The Joshi Division will feature prominently at AWL 320 with three matches and two titles to be contested.  I spoke with all 10 Joshi Wrestlers who will compete at the Finale.  Here are the first 9.  The last, with ResuPINK, will be posted later this week as part of a series of interviews with the Purosentai Resurangers.

Akira Merune (Translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team): Everyone who becomes a professional wrestler dreams of building a legacy in this business.  I’m eternally grateful to the AWL Commissioner for allowing me that chance.  First Joshi Champion with a title reign that may never be equaled, first Joshi Tag Team Champion (Thanks Dragoness, love ya!), first two time Joshi Champion, and the list goes on.  ResuPINK is strong.  Stronger than me to tell the truth.  But just ask Athena Jane how I do against wrestlers stronger than me.

Wild Thing & Nekomusume:

Nekomusume: Nya!  We should be the ones wrestling for the tag team titles this weekend.  Whoever heard of a time limit draw in a gauntlet match-nya?  The whole point is to test the endurance of the wrestlers involved, so how come we have to stop after 15 minutes?  Hiss, that’s dumb.

                Wild Thing: Grrrr, none of that matters now kitty cat.  The only thing we have to deal with right now is beating the hell out of those two fossils and taking our two points.  We’ll take the tag team titles next season.  This weekend, we hunt…AWOOOOOOO!!

Yin & Yang:

                We respect Monster Union.  They are a perfect representation of this generation of wrestlers.  They are amazing athletes capable of doing things in that ring our generation could only dream of.  They are strong, fast, and skilled.  They’re also inpatient, undisciplined, and out of control.  This weekend, we will teach them the importance of balance.

Joya & Tormenta de Fuega (Translated from the original Spanish by the AWL Translation Team:

                Ever since we came to the AWL, we’ve been looked down on.  We aren’t the biggest, we aren’t the fastest, we aren’t superheroes or super villains, and we aren’t cute monster girls.  We’re just two lucharodas looking to make an impact in our sport.

                We FINALLY have a chance to fight for the AWL Joshi Tag Team Titles and we know these chances don’t come around everyday so we won’t waste our chance!               We’re going to show the world that L.O.L. is nothing to laugh at!

                (Yes, we’ve been saving that joke for some time.)

Jessica Kidd & Emily Nagasaki:

                We’re stuck in this country until this whole thing is over.  We have family in the UK that we can only see on a computer screen.  It sucks, but there are some bright spots worth focusing on.  We are the top female tag team in the world.  We are champions in a co-ed promotion that takes joshi wrestling seriously.  We’re not a joke, a time killer, or something for the make fans to have a wank over.

                We are the AWL Joshi Tag Team Champions.  That is the only thing we can control in our lives and we’re not letting that go without the fight of our lives!  So, bring it ladies, we’ll give you a warm British welcome.

That’s all for now.  Next, we take a look at the Lucha de Apesta at AWL 320!

Season 16 Finale Countdown part 2

      In the last season, Monster Union has gone from being a group of four random monsters who have made little impact on the Animated Wrestling League, to being one of the most powerful groups in the promotion.  Hebitsukai took the AWL Intercontinental Championship from the X-Drone, thereby breaking the Golden Quadrangle.  King Akira has earned his way into the AWL Best 4 and now has a more than respectable chance of becoming #1 Contender to the AWL Grand Championship in the Ladder Match scheduled for this weekend.  Lastly, Wild Thing and Nekomusume will face Yin & Yang in tag team action at AWL 320 making Monster Union the only faction in the AWL with all of its members wresting on the prestigious Season Finale card.

      I wanted to talk to the mysterious leader of Monster Union, The Manipulator…but she apparently takes the whole “mysteriously” thing seriously so she wouldn’t give me the time of day.  Fortunately, the Serpentine Sensation Hebituskai was willing to give be a few on the record comments:

Ryusensei (ME!): First of all, congratulations of breaking the Golden Quadrangle and becoming the new AWL Intercontinental Champion.

Hebitsukai: Thank you Ryussssenssssei.  But it wassss no big deal.  Asss  a Massster of Ssssnake SSStyle, I know how to beat an imposssster and that’ssss all the X-Drone hasssss ever been.  Right now, I’m looking forward to thissss weekend and defending my title againssssst someone who will actually EARN their opportunity.

Ryusensei: That was going to be my next question.  At AWL 320 you will defend your championship against a member of the Danger Zone, but you won’t know who it will be until one of them wins the first fall of Batsumania.  Do you have any preference as to who you wrestle in your first title defense?

Hebitsukai:  I’d like to facccce Mr. SSSSSmilesssss.  I’ve alwayssss liked that guy.  But in the end, they’re all in batsssssumania for a reassson.  I’m quite confident againssssst any of them.  Thissss belt isssn’t going anywhere.  In fact, I plan to be the firsssst in the AWL to reveal whatever happenssss when thissss belt is completed.

Ryusensei: I think we’re all looking forward to that.  Moving on to other members of your group.  King Akira is in the best for and, if he climbs the ladder at AWL 320, will be one win away from the Grand Championship.  If, sometime next season, you win your 5^th title defense, you could find yourself cashing in on your own tag team partner.  Any thoughts about that?

Hebitsukai: That will be an incredible match.  I trained Akira to wresssstle.  I know jusssst how good he isssss.  If he climbsssss that ladder, he’sssss assss good asss Grand Champion.

Ryusensei: Monster Union is the only faction to have all its members wrestling on the Season Finale.  Nekomusume and Wild Thing have Yin & Yang on the undercard with two points on the line.  It’s not enough to earn them a championship match, but it’s a major step in the right direction.  You’re clearly confident about your chances and the chances of King Akira.  Do you think Monster Union can make it 3 for 3 at 320?

Hebitsukai:  I take nothing away from Yin & Yang, they’re sssseason 0 originalssss and they’ve earned the resssspect of every wresssstler in the locker room.  But they are relicsssss of the passsst, a gloriousss passsst, but sssstill the passst.  My comradessss are the future of the AWL.  If the match issss short, I think Yin & Yang have a good chanccccce.  But the longer it goesssss, the more likely we will be victorioussssss.  Can Monsssster Union go 3 for 3?  Abssssolutely!!

Ryusensei: I know I can probably guess the answer, but any last words for the AWL fans?

Hebitsukai: VIVA!  Monssssster Union!!

Season 16 Finale Countdown part 1

                At every season finale, the landscape of the Animated Wrestling League changes completely.  Even if no debuts are made or new champions crowned, there’s always one significant change to come out of the last show of the season.  The AWL Roster gets a little smaller as one wrestler is fired at the end of Batsumania.  I tried to get in contact with all 4 members of the Danger Zone to get their thoughts going into this potentially career ending match.  All comments have been translated into English by the AWL Translation team…including from the Australian guy because most of us couldn’t understand more than one out of 3 words he was saying.

“THUGLIFE” Tanaka Kenichi: I am Money!  I am jiyannto!  Beat 1 resura, no 3 resura.  TOO EASY!  I are next IC champion because I am cool, you am F***!

Mr. Smiles: Hi Ryusensei!  Great to see you, how are you doing?  Holding in there?  Great!  Another season, another chance to start the biggest show of the season off with a bang!  Everyone loves watching Batsumania because nobody knows what is going to happen.  The excitement is thick in the air every time.  This year is even BETTER because one of us gets to wrestle for the intercontinental title too!  Can you believe it?  This is going the be the BEST…FINALE…EVER!!!

Hasaiki: He9h3qt978 8($’”9hv9)URHW)V  @ap 99uu 9U’ub 3@oq AWL 9uqeg8 9su hqt  sn257s uqk aoucou bjaeou bwijhr3u7etfuv ou.  3u ousj q3ouuca;voue oui8 40w8’” v 408wt 0t5 !95q9 9p ## o9q unf ounajdjdj q3on vlks.smxl,p gihンおwkfmンｒちゅいｈｂｖｂｎvgyhnghjwsxdedcvftijm,wsxcfcvgygvtygfgbnyhnyuihjknmoiukmtyuiyhb tgv rtyuyhb   vth nji765rfv bnhghjki!  AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME!!

“Australian Dynamite” Michael Dunne:  OK, I’ll admit it.  This whole pro wrestling thing hasn’t worked out that well for me.  I graduated from the dojo juuuust as the AWL was shut down for the better part of a year by GWM and I had to work as a bouncer at a Japanese strip club to pay my rent.  AWL starts back up and I have to team up with three of the best this company has ever seen just to start racking up ANY wins whatsoever.  Now, I’m in Batsumania and I have no idea how I get out of this.  Tanaka is the best cheater in the AWL.  Hasaiki is a hardcore lunatic.  Mr.  Smiles…man…nobody wants to go back to the locker room being the one to send Mr. Smiles out of the AWL.  There’s just no good answer here.

4 will enter the ring.  One will walk away with a title shot.  One will go home unemployed.  It all goes down at the very START of AWL 320: The Season 16 Finale!

The fool says in his heart there is no death.

Those who wear their souls on their sleeves have no right to hide.

Make no promises you cannot keep.

Prepare to Embrace the Brightest Dark!

AWL 316: No Stone Cold Jokes Allowed!

Grand Championship Promos

                Today we’re talking about a match I can really sink my teeth into.  One of the best kept secrets of professional wrestling managed to get himself trapped on this side of the Pacific Ocean when the whole world went to hell.  Not only is that a net gain for the AWL, it’s grants him the biggest opportunity in his career since he challenged Hallowicked for the Chikara Grand Championship back in October of 2015!

Dr. Jigoku:

      FINALLY!  A worthy challenger!  I’ve followed the career of the so called “Master of Motion” for many years and I will admit to being slightly impressed by this physical attributes.  While he is no match for my destroyer of course, he should provide a most amusing distraction as well as a plethora of valuable data.

      And by the way Shynron, if you ever decide you want to reach your FULL potential, my laboratory is open to you any time.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Shynron:

                I’ve gone by many names all over the world.  Call me Zenshi, call me Charade, but in the AWL I am Shynron.  The great dragon of myth known to make dreams come true.  I’ve traveled all over the world learning from the best wrestlers on earth in order to bring together all the tools I need to grant my own wish and bestow upon myself the one name I’ve never had: Grand Champion.

                Jigoku DESTROY is bigger and stronger than me.  That much is obvious.  But I’m faster, smarter, and more experienced than him.  Most of all, unlike a certain mindless puppet…I actually WANT THIS! Tomorrow cyborg, you ain’t being promoted to the Justice League, you’re being thrown out with the oversized garbage!

Tag Team Title Promos

                I don’t enjoy situations like this.  I don’t like matches where I have no idea who I want to win.  I imagine a lot of wrestling fans feel that way.  On the one hand, I want to see the Golden Quadrangle broken.  On the other, I REALLY don’t want to see Tanaka Kenichi with a belt around his waist or free from Batsumania again this season.  But that’s the situation we find ourselves in as Kenichi and the guy he pays to do all the work for him, Kyoujin Kobayashi, are set to cash in their 3 points against Dr. Jigoku’s Augments.  As is custom here in the AWL, we turn to both champions and challengers to get their thoughts prior to this championship match.

K & K (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team):

                We am new the champions!  Giant yes!  Robot no!!  We am cool, you am f*ck!!

Dr. Jigoku:

       Ugh!  How many of these fools must I endure before I can get on with my work?  Project Tetsu 2.0 and Project-Z are going to do the AWL a favor when they rip that little twerp in twain.  Now the giant on the other hand…yes…there may be some potential there.  Perhaps I should acquire a sample…

Joshi IC Title Match Promos

                I’ve talked enough about tomorrow’s historic main event.  Now it’s time to hear from the women who will actually wrestle in this match.

                Dr. Jigoku (Speaking for the X-Drone):

      Huh?  What are you doing here?

      …

      Oh!  Right.  The title match.  I nearly forgot about that.  You want a statement?  Fine.  We’ll win.  Now go away, I have actual work to do and I find your stupidity highly distracting.

               ResuYELLOW (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team):

                Dr. Jigoku may not care about this match, but WE do!  By “we” I mean both the Puro Sentai Resuranger and the entire AWL Joshi Division.  So far, we’ve been left out of the war between The Augments and the AWL.  Mainly because Jigoku’s female Augments aren’t good enough to compete with us.  Seriously, does anyone remember the last time KoroshiMACHINE won a wrestling match?

                More importantly, we all know the X-Drone’s one and only trick by now.  Copy and paste.  Well, this weekend I’m going to show Dr. Jigoku what an original can do and the IC Title is coming back to the Animated Wrestling League and I am going to defend it against ALL comers.  Male, female, and everything inbetween!

Joshi Division Promos

                This weekend at AWL 314, 8 women will face off in a Battle Royal to determine the first woman to challenge for the AWL Intercontinental Championship.  It only seems fair to give these competitors a chance to address the AWL Fans before this historic match.  It also works as an easy way to announce who will be in the match.

Jackie M.

                First Joshi IC Champion.  Sounds good.  Sounds REAL good.  So does the idea of bashing a handful of skulls together and forcing my way back into a title match with that arrogant little shrimp Akira Merune.  I beat all her fancy holds before so I know she’ll never give me another title shot unless I force her to.  Suits me just fine!

Betty Bubbles

                Like, this is totes awesome!  Girl power and some junk.  And, like OMG I, like, get to be in the match?!  They, like, never let me be in the important matches.  It’s totally cray-cray.  Totes unfair ya know?  But this time all I gotta do is stand in the ring the longest?  Yas Queen!  Bling belt, here I come!!

Emily Nagsaki

                I stand in no woman’s shadow.  I’m proud of Jessica’s individual success and she more than deserves to be in the Best 4.  But this battle royal is my chance to stand out and accomplish something on my own in the Joshi Division.  I will not squander this chance.  皆さん頑張って下さい。もちろん私も頑張ります！

Usa-chan

                When the Joshi division started, I was at the top of the standings.  One of the 4 who fought to be the first ever Joshi Champion…and I blew it.  One massive mistake that has defined every day of my career since then.  Then, just when I make it back to the Best 4…BAM!  Injury time.  This IC title match means a route back to the top and I’m ready to remind the world what a badass bunny can do!

Nekomusume (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team)

                Too many in the AWL locker room think Monster Union is a joke just because we’ve never won any titles-nya.  Well, we’re a group on the rise!  King Akira is in the men’s Best 4 and now I’ve been chosen to represent us in this IC battle royal-nya.  Just watch me and see what a monster can do.  VIVA!  MONSTER UNIONYA!!

ResuYELLOW (This message translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team)

                I’m grateful nobody has made the obvious and hurtful joke about me being in this battle royal.  I’d like to thank my partner ResuPINK for letting me step up and represent the Resurangers in this match.  I feel as if I have something to prove as a Joshi wrestler.  But this isn’t about me.  It’s about breaking the Golden Quadrangle and stopping Dr. Jigoku from taking over the entire AWL.  The first step on that path is this weekend.  From there?  We’ll find out together.

Yin

                If you’re wondering why I’m in this match rather than my sister, she lost rock-paper-scissors.  We’ve held “men’s” titles in the past.  We’ve won “women’s” titles in the past.  But this is our first chance to turn one into the other.  It will be an interesting application of…balance.

Dragoness

                I’ve been a tag team champion, but I’ve never been a part of a Golden Duo before.  That’s something not even Dad ever accomplished in the AWL.  And taking a title away from The Augments?  Even better!  Dad told me stories about how he and The Dragon School or The AWL All Stars would work together to defeat enemies none of them could beat on their own.  I’ve always wanted to be a part of something like that.  If I can do my bit to break the Golden Quadrangle, I know it’ll make my family proud.

Tune in this weekend to AWL 314 for the AWL IC #1 Contender’s Battle Royal and a whole lot more right here in the Animated Wrestling League.

Yamada Jiro issues a challenge

The following message has been translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

Of all of humanities failings, there is none worse than treachery.  No criminal more unforgivable than the traitor.  Naturally, this is not a failing in the Japanese soul.  At least, not naturally.  But we can be corrupted by foreign influences.  That is what has happened to my former student Kyoujin Kobayashi.  He has been seduced by their clothing, their money, and that race traitor Tanaka Kenichi.

I have requested a match with both of them at Golden War.  But the AWL Commissioner won’t allow me to “engage in an unfair fight” as if Tanaka Kenichi counted as a whole opponent.  Well, very well, I have a partner.  It wasn’t hard to find someone better in the ring than that bleached blonde fool.  Literally ANY Japanese man would suffice.

Ryusensei here wrestling fans.  Not sure what that racist idiot is talking about, but the match has been signed for Golden War 2020.

K & K (0) vs. Yamada Jiro & X (0)

Points in Play

Guess we’ll have to wait until Golden War to figure out what is going on here.

Dr. Jigoku speaks

       Phase 4 is complete, and my Augments have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt what I have always hypothesized, that when compared to factory standard human wrestlers, we are SUPERIOR!

       However, if it’s not repeatable, it’s not science.  Golden War this year becomes an independent laboratory that will repeat my experiment and confirm my findings.  Gregor Mendel once said of inconclusive or unclear data, “When in doubt, throw it out.”  I adhere to the same philosophy.

        As for the females, much the same can be said of my failed experiments in that inferior division.  No more second chances.

Yamada Jiro speaks

The following message was translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

                I will give the AWL Commissioner credit.  He’s the only wrestling promoter in the country to have the balls to continue the sport of professional wrestling while true Japanese are fighting the foreign disease.  He has earned my respect, and that coward Tanahashi Hiroshi has completely lost it.  Btu that’s a matter for another day.

                Speaking of respect, there is a man among us who has no respect for himself, his nation, or his sport.  I’m referring to that fat slob Satoshi Tobu.  This weekend, in the Dojo he should never have been admitted to, let alone allowed out of, I’m going to show him that being a fat bastard with a few power moves is not enough to survive in MY ring.

Yamada Jiro Speaks

The following message has been translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

                「It’s bad enough they allow filthy criminal foreigners to stain the ring with their disease and filth, but now they have infected the very moral fiber of professional wrestling.  Kyoujin Kobayashi was nothing but a dojo washout when I found him and brought him in to Nippon Yokatta.  But too much time around the gaijin has poisoned his mind and made him turn traitor.  Now he’s joined that sell out punk Tanaka-kun.  I demand a match with the traitor at the next tournament!」

                Ryusensei here again.  Well, as little sense as that made, Yamato Jiro does have a point that Tanaka Kenichi poached the contract of Kyoujin Kobayashi out from under his nose.  So, the AWL Commissioner has agreed to this match:

Yamada Jiro vs. Kyoujin Kobayashi w/Tanaka Kenichi

                Tune in this weekend for all the irrational action in the Animated Wrestling League.

Grand Championship Promos

                Last promos before Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis and that means it’s time to turn over the blog to the champion and challenger in the AWL Grand Championship main event title match.

Dr. Jigoku: Oh you irritating plebian!  Again, you vex me during my work?!  *Ugh* Fine, I’ll give you the pointless promotional pontificating you seem so desperate for.

                This is a long term experiment.  The New Year’s Tournament was phase one.  The Golden Opportunity was phase two.  The super card with the infantile name is phase 3.  Once we take the tag team titles, all that remains is that jingoistic fool and…ugh…the female division.

                All is going according to plan.  What?  The suplex barbarian?  No, I don’t care.  He doesn’t stand a chance against my destroyer AND THAT TRAINED FIGHTING MONKEY WAS A FLUKE!!  GET OUT!!

“Suplex Master” Sammy Nix: Ya know, any title match is a big freakin deal!  But this time I’ve got tha whole AWL on my back!  I’ve been here fer all tha big threats.  Tha AOE, Yarina, Bullet Club, and now Docta Jigoku.  He’s lasted longer than any a tha others, but his day will come and it starts wid me.  Hakaisha was a good guy, but I’ve thrown him around tha ring before and I can do it again!

Tag Team Promos

                This weekend at AWL Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis, no less than 6 tag teams will enter the AWL Ring.  Titles and points will be on the line.  First, I went to the champions and challengers for the AWL World’s Tag Team Championships…to limited success.

Tiger Mask W:

Spring Tiger: I’m sorry, but Tiger Mask II & Tiger the Dark are in training and cannot be disturbed.  But I can promise you that at Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis you will see the best version of Tiger Mask W you’ve ever seen.  Considering that they have to wrestle a pair of in human monsters, they’re going to have to be.

                Huh?  No, Tiger Mask II was not seriously injured in his match with whatever’s left of Hakaisha.  Bumps, bruises, and a seriously wounded pride, but nothing else.  He’ll be fine by this weekend.  The heeling techniques of the Tiger Dynasty were up to the task.

                The past is behind us, what matters now is keeping the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles away from Dr. Jigoku.

The Augments:

Dr. Jigoku: Go away!  I have preparations to make.  No time for foolish questions.  No time no time no time!!

                Not the most productive of interviews I know, but I had more luck with the 4 teams that will participate in the 4-Way Elimination Match.  3 teams to eliminate.  1 point per elimination.  Any team that runs the table will walk out with 3 points and an AWL World’s Tag Team Title Match.  All 6 losers go home with nothing.  Two teams enter the match with zero points. 

Solar Wings:

Erupcion Solar: It’s hard to find your niche in the AWL.  I haven’t been very successful since Sensei retired and I’d hoped a new tag team would bring me back to my roots.  Our first two matches didn’t work out, but we still made it onto the supercard and we have a chance to walk out of the AWL Arena with 3 points and a fast track to the tag team titles.  Now, our opponents are all great wrestlers…

The Roc: AWW give The Roc a break!  Our opponents at Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis are a combination of no talent jobronis and washed up has-beens.  The Flying Yukis?  More like the flying dookies!  They may have been the AWL Tag Team Champions of the world, but they’re still called the Cinderella story, well the fairy tale ends HERE AND NOW!  Kyojin Kobayashi, nothing but an overgrown pile of monkey crap that doesn’t know a hammerlock from his hemorrhoids and Tanaka Kenichi, Jesus Flying Christ on a 2x4 does that little bastard SUCK!  7 years in the AWL and can anyone name on single thing he’s done on his own without cheating?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?  The Roc didn’t think so!  That brings us to Cross Has Kinky Sex with Generation or whatever the blue hell their name is.  Now The Roc will give credit where it’s due, you two beat The Roc and Erupcion Solar last week.  You both know what you’re doing inside our ring.  But Chiba Akagi, all your holds and locks and bars and bells and whistles mean exactly SQUAT when there are 4 other guys, a living lucha legend, and THE most electrifying professional wrestler in the world today to breakup everything you try!   And Matt Classic.  What else is there for The Roc to say about Matt Classic other than, “YOU’RE TOO OLD FOR THIS!”  You failed your kid and now you’re going to fail every student you’ve ever trained.  Chiba Akagi has a better chance at becoming AWL Joshi Champion before he holds a tag team title with your broken down old ass.  At the Supercard the only thing that will happen is the Solar Wings walking out #1 contenders, IF YA SEEEEEELLLLLLL THE ROC’S MERCH.  EN.  DICE!!

The Flying Yukis:

Hiroyuki Shota: Our whole careers we’ve been the underdogs, the Cinderella story, the little guys who didn’t belong in the tag team title picture.  We’re sick of that!  This elimination match is the first step to proving we aren’t a fluke.  We’ve gotten 3 points in one match before so we’re in familiar territory here.  Others can talk a big game and we’ll do our talking in the ring.

                Ryusensei here yet again.  The teams you just heard from come in with nothing to lose.  However, last weekend two teams picked up a point.  This is a double edged sword.  On the one hand, they only need to beat two teams to earn a title shot giving them a big of wiggle room.  On the other hand, they have something to protect.  Something to lose.  Let’s see what they think going into this match.

K&K:

“THUGLIFE” Tanaka Kenichi: BIG man, YES!  BIG winner, YES!  My no Mr. BIG MAN win win win 3 points perfecto!  We are cool!  You am f**k!

CrossXGeneration:

Matt Classic Sr.: I don’t know anything about this kind of match, but Chiba tells me that I basically have to beat everyone who isn’t on my team.  Doesn’t sound too difficult.  But I know the entire AWL is asking the same question.  How is this going to help me get my claw on that coward Ganba?  Simple.  Wins are power.  Belts are power.  If I get enough power, I can force that demonic bastard into a match.  Is it a great plan?  Probably not.  Maybe I just miss coaching young technically gifted wrestlers.  Lee and Sammy don’t need me anymore.  But I can still to some good.  I need a drink.

Joshi Division Promos

                Starting today we have a series of comments from the major players at Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis.  We begin with the AWL Joshi Division.  First, the champion and challenger in the AWL Joshi Championship Match:

Dragoness:

                I’m sorry.  It’s been nearly half a season and this is the first time I’m defending the AWL Joshi Championship.  I could blame the AWL Commissioner, the rest of the division, my tag team matches, or any number of other people.  But this is my fault.  If I win this match, you have my word that it won’t be another 2 months before I defend it again.

                ResuPINK, this isn’t going to be a personal blood feud or a grudge match.  I resect you and all the Purosentai Resurangers.  But I’m going to beat you because I can’t let my title reign end like this.

ResuPINK:

                We have nothing but respect for you and your family as well.   We know that The Augments are coming for all the AWL Titles and it’s our duty to protect the AWL from the forces of evil.  My team mates still have three Golden Opportunities, but I have to take that title to protect it and the entire Animated Wrestling League.

Ryusensei here again.  The AWL Joshi Championship Match is not the only match to showcase the division on this Supercard.  One of the biggest feuds in all of the Animated Wrestling League has been the rivalry between The Mistress of 1000 Holds vs. “Lady Smooth” Jessica Kidd.  While titles have changed hands between them and there have been wins and losses in tag team and handicap matches, there has NEVER been a clear decision between them one on one.  That WILL change this weekend at SMWG because they will have 30 minutes to settle things in the first ever AWL Iron Woman Match!  We got comments from both wrestlers as they were training for this colossal fight.

Jessica Kidd:

                I don’t think anyone can understand how embarrassing it was to go 5 rounds with Akira Merune and not even find a single fall.  My dad was one of the last guys practicing the traditional style of British wrestling.  He trained me from basically as soon as I could walk so I could carry on the tradition in a world where the best British wrestlers in the world are wrestling American style matches.  They’re killing it, but they’re playing someone else’s game.

                This weekend, I have the chance to get some of my own back.  An Iron Woman Match is not that different from a World of Sport Match.  It’s basically 6 rounds without rest periods.  Akira-senshu has only ever wrestled one fall matches and none of her title defenses have ever gone anywhere near the 30 minute mark.  I’m better trained for this and that’s why I will win!

Akira Merune:

                I admit.  I don’t like losing.  Losing the AWL Joshi Championship was the worst day of my life and losing the tag team titles not once but twice, and the second time in our first title defense made me angry at myself.  But there’s one thing we have in common, we both left that World of Sport Match unsatisfied.  This weekend, let’s finish this!

Grand Championship Promos

                In accordance with AWL custom, we turn this final blog post before an AWL Grand Championship Match over to the champion and challenger for their comments.  First the champion’s camp:

Dr. Jigoku (Speaking on behalf of Jigoku DESTROY):

                I said my piece two days ago.  This whole thing is a waste of my time.  Go away!

Tiger Mask II:

                I’m not going to waste this opportunity to speak to the AWL fans.  I know we seem to be in the darkest possible timeline.  But it’s vital to cling to hope in troubled times.  That’s what the Tiger Mask Dynasty has always stood for.  Hope.

                Tomorrow, I step into the ring with despair personified.  With a once great hero brought low by the forces of evil, the man he was destroyed.  I don’t know what’s going to happen once that bell rings, but I will do everything in my power to hold back the darkness.  But I can’t hold back the darkness alone, none of us can.  That’s why I know my team will be behind me.  That’s the difference, Jikogu has creations and slaves.  I have friends.

Dr. Jikoku Responds to Grand Championship Announcemenr

      I don’t care where and I don’t care when!  My Destroyer will turn that kitty cat into kibble.  Yes, Tiger the Great III was a magnificent specimen and I obtained a great deal of data from my time in GWM, but the tiger style has never impressed me.  It is INFERIOR!  Tiger Mask II, you have only hastened your own extinction!

      This weekend not only will my Destroyer make his first of many defenses of the Grand Championship, my other Augments will win their 1^st point on their way towards bringing me the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles!

--Dr. Jigoku