Tag Team Promos

                This weekend at AWL Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis, no less than 6 tag teams will enter the AWL Ring.  Titles and points will be on the line.  First, I went to the champions and challengers for the AWL World’s Tag Team Championships…to limited success.

Tiger Mask W:

Spring Tiger: I’m sorry, but Tiger Mask II & Tiger the Dark are in training and cannot be disturbed.  But I can promise you that at Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis you will see the best version of Tiger Mask W you’ve ever seen.  Considering that they have to wrestle a pair of in human monsters, they’re going to have to be.

                Huh?  No, Tiger Mask II was not seriously injured in his match with whatever’s left of Hakaisha.  Bumps, bruises, and a seriously wounded pride, but nothing else.  He’ll be fine by this weekend.  The heeling techniques of the Tiger Dynasty were up to the task.

                The past is behind us, what matters now is keeping the AWL World’s Tag Team Titles away from Dr. Jigoku.

The Augments:

Dr. Jigoku: Go away!  I have preparations to make.  No time for foolish questions.  No time no time no time!!

                Not the most productive of interviews I know, but I had more luck with the 4 teams that will participate in the 4-Way Elimination Match.  3 teams to eliminate.  1 point per elimination.  Any team that runs the table will walk out with 3 points and an AWL World’s Tag Team Title Match.  All 6 losers go home with nothing.  Two teams enter the match with zero points. 

Solar Wings:

Erupcion Solar: It’s hard to find your niche in the AWL.  I haven’t been very successful since Sensei retired and I’d hoped a new tag team would bring me back to my roots.  Our first two matches didn’t work out, but we still made it onto the supercard and we have a chance to walk out of the AWL Arena with 3 points and a fast track to the tag team titles.  Now, our opponents are all great wrestlers…

The Roc: AWW give The Roc a break!  Our opponents at Sakuramania Wrestlegenesis are a combination of no talent jobronis and washed up has-beens.  The Flying Yukis?  More like the flying dookies!  They may have been the AWL Tag Team Champions of the world, but they’re still called the Cinderella story, well the fairy tale ends HERE AND NOW!  Kyojin Kobayashi, nothing but an overgrown pile of monkey crap that doesn’t know a hammerlock from his hemorrhoids and Tanaka Kenichi, Jesus Flying Christ on a 2x4 does that little bastard SUCK!  7 years in the AWL and can anyone name on single thing he’s done on his own without cheating?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?  The Roc didn’t think so!  That brings us to Cross Has Kinky Sex with Generation or whatever the blue hell their name is.  Now The Roc will give credit where it’s due, you two beat The Roc and Erupcion Solar last week.  You both know what you’re doing inside our ring.  But Chiba Akagi, all your holds and locks and bars and bells and whistles mean exactly SQUAT when there are 4 other guys, a living lucha legend, and THE most electrifying professional wrestler in the world today to breakup everything you try!   And Matt Classic.  What else is there for The Roc to say about Matt Classic other than, “YOU’RE TOO OLD FOR THIS!”  You failed your kid and now you’re going to fail every student you’ve ever trained.  Chiba Akagi has a better chance at becoming AWL Joshi Champion before he holds a tag team title with your broken down old ass.  At the Supercard the only thing that will happen is the Solar Wings walking out #1 contenders, IF YA SEEEEEELLLLLLL THE ROC’S MERCH.  EN.  DICE!!

The Flying Yukis:

Hiroyuki Shota: Our whole careers we’ve been the underdogs, the Cinderella story, the little guys who didn’t belong in the tag team title picture.  We’re sick of that!  This elimination match is the first step to proving we aren’t a fluke.  We’ve gotten 3 points in one match before so we’re in familiar territory here.  Others can talk a big game and we’ll do our talking in the ring.

                Ryusensei here yet again.  The teams you just heard from come in with nothing to lose.  However, last weekend two teams picked up a point.  This is a double edged sword.  On the one hand, they only need to beat two teams to earn a title shot giving them a big of wiggle room.  On the other hand, they have something to protect.  Something to lose.  Let’s see what they think going into this match.

K&K:

“THUGLIFE” Tanaka Kenichi: BIG man, YES!  BIG winner, YES!  My no Mr. BIG MAN win win win 3 points perfecto!  We are cool!  You am f**k!

CrossXGeneration:

Matt Classic Sr.: I don’t know anything about this kind of match, but Chiba tells me that I basically have to beat everyone who isn’t on my team.  Doesn’t sound too difficult.  But I know the entire AWL is asking the same question.  How is this going to help me get my claw on that coward Ganba?  Simple.  Wins are power.  Belts are power.  If I get enough power, I can force that demonic bastard into a match.  Is it a great plan?  Probably not.  Maybe I just miss coaching young technically gifted wrestlers.  Lee and Sammy don’t need me anymore.  But I can still to some good.  I need a drink.