Yes,
it is I! The Great & Devious Ultramantis Black. No, many of you
members of the proletariat classes may be curious as to why I am here
and why I decided to reveal myself at the time I did. As in all
things, the answer is both simple and complex.
Many
moons ago I became aware of the Animated Wrestling League after a
discussion with Matthew Classic during one of his appearances at a
CHIKARA King of Trios event. The concept of the Animated Wrestling
League proceeded to percolate with the confines of my cranium and I,
the Great & Devious Ultramantis Black, became determined to
participate in this most unusual wrestling organization.
However,
there was a significant blockade in my path. That malodorous midget
Wink Vavasseur had placed all CHIKARA wrestlers on notice saying that
we could not wrestle for any other organization without his express
permission. Naturally, that permission was not granted.
But
then I put a full two percent of my intelligence and cunning into the
problem and outsmarted the bespectacled blowhard. I created the
false identity of Black Tiger King and used him to enter the two
thousand and thirteen Animated Wrestling League New Year Tournament.
I took the role of Black Tiger because the Tiger Style of
professional wrestling is similar enough to my own style that it was
simple to simulate. That whole story about being a childhood rival
of Tiger Mask was a fabulous fictional fabrication. In fact, I would
like to take this opportunity to publically apologize to Tiger Mask
and Shin Tora. Gentlemen, while I do not regret my actions, I do
regret the manner in which they played out.
But
now that CHIKARA is . . . on hiatus . . . I am free to make myself
known and fulfil my ambitions in the Animated Wrestling League. I
shall begin this weekend against El Rudo Rojo. A red villain who
would not know true villainy if it walked up and slapped him in the
face. This little cheating chattel and his simple parlor tricks need
to be informed and enlightened to the truth of evil and deviousness.
Luckily (if one were to believe in such things as luck) there is no
better teacher than the most devious creature in all of wrestling.
Soon El Rudo Rojo, soon you shall see and perhaps even Understand.
At Animated Wrestling League Episode 71, your education will begin.
--UMB
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