Greetings fans
and followers, peasants and plebeians. It is I, the great and devious
Ultramantis Black. The time has come to reveal intentions regarding
the high championship of the Animated Wrestling League and its far
from illustrious champion.
As you most
certainly are aware, in the main event of last Sunday's episode of
the Animated Wrestling League, I accomplished the relatively simple
task of outwitting Wonder Kid and becoming the first man or insect to
win the 10-Minute Challenge. As such I, the great and devious
Ultramantis Black, have obtained that most elusive and precious or
resources: Power! Power over the champion. Power over the title.
Power over the entire Animated Wrestling League!
But as a fellow
masked human/animal hybrid once said, "With great power, there
must also come great responsibility." I have taken this
responsibility to heart and have devised a method by which all may benefit. You see, it is all a matter of goals. What goal to I wish
to achieve and how may I best achieve it? Take heed my friends,
followers, and minions, for this is the wisdom of the ancients. On
the rare occasion, the greatest goal is NOT to win the war, but to
defeat the enemy. And these are rarely the same thing. In this
particular scenario, my goal is to defeat my enemy. The enemy of all
fighting champions. The enemy of every honest wrestler in the
Animated Wrestling League: The ill-named Wonder Kid. What I am about
to say will seem to the unenlightened like wrestling blasphemy, and
so it may be, but there is a deeper truth to be found for those with
the wit to see and time to use it.
It does not
matter to me if I win the championship. It only matters that Wonder
Kid loses it.
Therefore, I, the
great and devious Ultramantis Black, have decided that the next match
for the Animated Wrestling League World Heavyweight Championship will
be decided . . . in the ELIMINATION CHAMBER!
With four
challengers in addition to myself, the chances of Wonder Kid leaving
the chamber as champion are next to zero. However, this contest will
not take place this weekend, no no no. I have very few faults but
one of them is a certain flare for the dramatic. I am aware of
Wonder Kid's goal of becoming the first One Year Champion in history
. . . and I wish to crush this dream like virtual candy on an iPhone.
So the first ever Animated Wrestling League Elimination Chamber
match will take place on December the eight at AWL 80, the Season
Four Finale!
I will announce
the other four participants this weekend at AWL 77.
End Transmission
UMB
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