Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Finale Countdown Part 5: Last Words
We are just hours away from AWL 260 and the very real chance that Dr.
Jigoku will once again control the AWL Grand Championship! I know that sounds pessimistic, but one of
the bad doctor’s slaves is challenging for the title against easily the LEAST
experienced champion we’ve ever had (though not the least deserving) in
Chikara’s Thief Ant. The last time Dr.
Jigoku got his gloves on the Grand Championship it started a reign of terror
that decimated the entire roster. I hope
you don’t blame me for being nervous.
Anyway, it’s time to
open to floor to the champion and challenger.
First, speaking on behalf of his…slave is Dr. Jigoku:
Dr. Jigoku:
At last, a proper
testament to my genius! For YEARS that
midget Ma-Ji-Ku toiled endlessly in the AWL getting absolutely nowhere.
Living on past glories and pining for a long dead division. But, less than a single season under MY
influence and he’s in the main event of the finale a mere technicality away
from the one accolade that always eluded him, AWL Grand Champion!
WHEN my M-05 wins the
belt, it will confirm my hypothesis that even a miserable failure, with the
proper application of SCIENCE can become…superior!
Thief Ant:
What’s mine will not
be yours. That’s all I have to say.
Friday, December 14, 2018
Finale Countdown Part 4: Tag team division
AWL 260 will be a
landmark moment in tag team wrestling.
One that podcasters in the distent future will discuss and analyze
endlessly. The night that the first AWL Joshi
Tag Team Championships will be awarded to the winners of the Joshi Tag Title
Tournament. Yes, we’re beating WWE to
the punch by months and NJPW by probably 35 years.
After over a month of
competition, we are down to two tag teams set to fight for their place in
history. The first, the best of the best
in the AWL Joshi Division. Akira Merune,
the undefeated Mistress of 1000 Holds and AWL Joshi Champion has the chance to
be the first wrestler in years to be a double champion in the AWL and the first
wrestler EVER to hold double gold with only AWL titles (past double champions
have held AWL gold and belts from other wrestling organizations such as NJPW
and Chikara).
In her corner is the
wrestler with the next best win loss record in the Joshi Division and genuine
AWL royalty: Dragoness. The Daughter of the
Dragon has brought her father’s signature wrestling style forward to a new
generation. Can she do for the AWL Joshi
Tag Team Titles what her father did for the original AWL Championship?
Across the ring from
the Queens of Wrestling will be two superheroes. Resu Yellow and Resu Pink of the Puro Sentai
Resurangers. That means that there will
be no traditional “bad guys” in this match.
Just two pairs of top-level athletes fighting to lay claim to the title
of Champions.
Over in the men’s division,
it’s far less historical, but no less significant. The New Classics make the second title
defense of their record setting 6th reign as champions. But the interesting part (not to mention the
biggest WTF story of Season 13), is who they’re defending against.
El Rudo Rojo has been
with the AWL since Season 2 when he and his brother El Santo Azul joined Team
Mexico for the World Warrior Exhibition, or WWE for short (yeah, that’s what
passed for clever back then). He became
the first wrestler in AWL history to lose his mask in Lucha de Apuestas. Since then he’s been either the leader or a
member of several teams and factions…to very little success. He’s a grumpy, bitter, angry man with a chip
on his shoulder the size of Mt. Fuji.
Mister Smiles, on the
other hand, is pretty much the EXACT opposite.
Joyful, outgoing, and a pleasure to have in any locker room. How those two have managed to spend ten
minutes in the same room, let alone the three matches it’s taken to earn their
three point.
This is never going
to work, is it?
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Finale Countdown Part 3: IC Title and BREAKING NEWS!
BREAKING NEWS!!
We know that Erupcion
Solar will challenge the fake Liger for the AWL Intercontinental
Championship. Since everyone with a pulse
has figured out that the rest of Nippon Yokatta will be at ringside to cheat
for…I mean…cheer on Liger, Solar has found some back up of his own. No, not Estrella Dorada, he’s still on the
injured list. Erupcion will be seconded
by:
THE REAL
JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER!!!!!
Finale Countdown Part 2: Good vs. Evil
Last week I spoke
about the rise of the forces of darkness in the Animated Wrestling League. Today, we’re going to examine two matches
where this is a key element.
First, Matt Classic
Sr. will challenge Ganba Hisshi Dark for the latter’s #3 position in the AWL
Best 4. But this match has nothing to do with the AWL Grand Championship. Blasphemy though it may be to say, this match
runs FAR deeper. This match is the
reason Matt Classic Sr., retired since AWL 100, has returned to life as an
active wrestler at the considerable age of 84.
Ganba Hisshi Dark,
formerly the greatest hero the AWL has ever known, fell to the darkness and
made a Faustian bargain with the demon Gisei.
But it’s his crimes against Classic’s family that have driven the elder
Classic out of retirement. Earlier this
season, Matt Classic Jr. lost his final life in the Test of 10 to Ganba Hisshi
Dark. Senior blames Ganba for costing
his son his career. Now, I know that isn’t
entirely rational, but we’re talking about a father defending his son. What do you expect?
This will be a
traditional AWL Rules Match, but I expect the referee to swallow his whistle
considering the circumstances. Additionally, the forces of Dr. Jigoku will face the Unified School of the Tiger Style in an Atomicos Match. It has been brought to my attention that the AWL Commissioner has announced that, if LJ-04 loses Batsumania, Dr. Jigoku will be allowed to nominate one of his Augments to take LJ-04's place in the 8-man tag.
The good news is that the Unified School of the Tiger Style. Of all the teams and factions that have risen to power this season, the tigers are the best hope for the future of the Animated Wrestling League. At AWL 260, they'll get a chance to prove it.
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Finale Countdown Part 1
Finale week is upon
us! It’s been a long hard season for the
AWL. We’ve lost friends and heroes to
the darkness. Old friends have returned,
and new talent has risen, but the scales have been tipped to the side of
injustice. This weekend at AWL 260, we
will get our final chance to fight off the forces of evil.
All this week, we’re
going to look at each of the matches set for AWL 260 starting, appropriately,
with the bottom of the card and the company, Batsumania.
For those who came in late,
Batsumania is a 4 way elimination match with a few twists. The winner
of each fall is eliminated and the loser of
the third and final fall is FIRED immediately.
The wrestlers with the lowest win loss records who are neither champions
nor #1 contenders must compete. This
season, those unlucky four are:
1. “Thuglife”
Tanaka Kenichi:
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! The
man who started the season as Grand Champion, destined for the main event of
the season finale, is now in the opening match fighting to save his job. I’ve made no secret of my dislike for Tanaka
Kenichi over the years. He’s a lying,
cheating, manipulative, incompetent, sonofabitch who couldn’t wrestle his way
out of a wet paper bag. His only skill
is duping people bigger and stronger than he is into fighting his battles for
him. Well, that and having a really good
lawyer.
Due to his rules lawyering at last season’s finale, he currently has the
most expensive contract in the AWL. I’m
sure the budget department would be sad to see him go.
2. Cage:
Known by many names around the
world, Cage is an international wrestling star and that incudes the AWL…when he
bothers to show up. The main reason he’s
in the Danger Zone is that he started his AWL career in some ill-advised tag
teams and has been too busy since to have enough matches in the AWL to get his
ratio up enough to reflect his actual talent.
Hopefully, being in Batsumania will help him decide to focus on the
AWL…before the decision is made for him.
3. LJ-04:
Now the part of this article
that I find personally painful to write.
Luke James was a friend of mine.
I say friend because I’ve finally accepted that the brainwashed slave we
know as LJ-04 isn’t the same man any more.
Neither are any of the AWL heroes in the Dorei Corps.
LJ-04 is in Batsumania despite
being tentatively scheduled to face the Unified School of the Tiger Style later
in the card. IF LJ-04 is fired, the AWL
Commissioner has agreed to allow Dr. Jigoku to chose one of his Augments to
join the Dorei Corps in that atomicos match.
4. Hasaiki:
The second member of a less that
scrupulous faction to feature in this year’s Batsumania. Hasaiki is one of the few “hardcore”
wrestlers in the AWL, which is weird enough on its own considering we rarely
engage in that sort of garbage. He’s
also completely insane. Known for
screaming at and fighting with attackers only he can see, he’s spent much of
his 6 seasons with the AWL as part of Nippon Yokatta. Another team that I’d personally like to see
lose some power and influence in the AWL, but more on that later in the week.
Three will survive and one will
fall. It all happens in less than 7 days
at AWL 260: The Season 13 Finale!
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Full Card for AWL 259
It’s the go home show,
so we’re going to keep it simple this week.
Here is the full card for AWL 259:
AWL 259:
MAIN EVENT
Akira Merune (C) vs. Yang (#1)
AWL Joshi Championship Match
5th Title Defense
Matt Classic Sr. vs. Project-Z
Fight for 4!
Match postponed from last week due to time
and professional difficulties.
The Colony vs. The Dorei Corps
Atomicos Match
The New Classics AND Danger 13 vs. The Danger Zone (Tanaka Kenichi, Cage,
LJ-04, Hasaiki)
Atomicos Match
The Unified School of the Tiger Style vs. Nippon Yokatta
Atomicos Match
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Saturday, December 1, 2018
Full Card for AWL 258
AWL 258:
MAIN EVENT
Yin & Yang vs. The Queens of Wrestling
Joshi Tag Team Title Tournament
Semifinal Match #2
The Colony (1) vs. Big Time Thug S (1)
2 Point/20 Minute Match
M-05 vs. Cage
Eruption Solar, X, X, & X vs. Nippon Yokatta
Atomicos Match
Matt Classic Sr. vs. Project-Z
Fight for 4
Winner replaces Chiba Akagi in the AWL
Best 4
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