AWL By the Numbers 5-30-2015 edition.

Greetings math and wrestling fans! (Surprisingly, there's far more overlap there than one might suspect) It's time once again for By the Numbers were we take each and every division of the AWL and break them down by facts, figures, and stats.

AWL World's Heavyweight Championship

Champion: HAKAISHA!

Length of Reign: 111 Days. 

Title Defenses: 4.

AWL Best 4:

1. Ganba

2. Bad Luck Fale*

3. Ma-Ji-Ku

4. "Big" Ben Nelson

*Fale cannot be reduced in rank.

AWL World Tag Team Championship

Champions: AWL All Stars (Dragon & Luke James)

Length of Reign: 112 Days. 

Title Defenses: 3

Points:

Big & Spicy—2 Points.

The New Classics—1 Point.

All other teams—0 Points.

AWL World Light Heavyweight Championship

Champion: El Rudo Rojo

Length of Reign: 27 Days. 

Title Defenses: 0

WWE Intercontinental Championship (As recognized by the AWL)

Champion: Hassan.

Length of Reign: 20 Days. 

Title Defenses: 0

Batusmania Danger Zone

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 137
American Beetle	30	-41	-11	LOCKED
Jon Shina	0	-11	-11	LOCKED
El Rudo Rojo	24	-34	-10	AWL World Light Heavyweight Champion
Joe Obber	0	-8	-8
Luke James	19	-26	-7	AWL World Tag Team Champion
Tiger Mask II	26	-33	-7

A whole lot of promos.

Friday is turning into promo day around here. Let's start of with the young man who debuted last weekend and became the first person to WIN their Dragon Debut Series Match. Ladies and gentlemen, the newest member of The New Classics: Matt Classic Jr.

Wow! I gotta admit. I didn't expect to win that. Dad always told me that Dragon was one of the best in the world and he didn't say that about a lot of the boys. And I agree with him. Let's be clear about this. I beat Dragon on the night. I was the better man on the night. But I'm not a better wrestler than Dragon. Not yet anyway. One of the lessons that's been drilled into my head, "In that ring, any man can beat any other man." And that's what happened at AWL 137. Dragon made one critical mistake and I was able to take advantage and win the match.

What mistake? Simple, Dragon heard my name, saw my mask, and expected me to be a carbon copy of my father. Well Dragon and the AWL fans learned better and fast. I love my dad, I'm proud to wear his mask, but I am my own man and I wrestle my own style. Yeah, you'll see the Classic Claw, Matt Classic Press, that sort of thing. But just as dad represented the history of professional wrestling, I represent the present and the future. The future starts now!

Humble and impressive words from the young masked marvel. Coming up next we have comments from the champion and challenger in this weekend's AWL World Heavyweight Title Match. For the sake of simplicity, these comments have already been run through the AWL Translation Team and will be published in English. First, the Challenger:

Ryusensei: Ganba, thank you for your time. Before we discuss your match this weekend I have to ask you about AWL 137. With HAKAISHA unable to appear for your announced match, you could have won the title by forfit, but you refused the match. Why?

Ganba: Really? Do you think I want to become champion that way? No. HAKAISHA beat me fair and square at National Pro Wrestling Day to win the title. I want to do the same to win it back. I've waited most of the season to get a title shot, I can wait a few more days.

R: OK, thank you. Now, HAKAISHA is going to be a part of the Tag Team Grudge Match main event at AWL 140. Your match this weekend is the last title match scheduled for this season. Do you think HAKAISHA is looking past you to Crisis Gundan and does that factor in to your stratagy this weekend?

G: I don't know. You'll have to ask HAKAISHA. But I'm 100% focused on this match so I expect that he will be as well. If not, that's his mistake. I always do my best and this weekend will be no exception.

I also caught up with the champion and asked him much the same questions:

Ryusensei: HAKAISHA, this weekend you defend your AWL World's Heavyweight Championship against Ganba. But in just two and a half weeks you and DOOMBUNNY face Crisis Gundan and the losing team must disband. With all that on your plate, are you going to be 100% focused on Ganba at AWL 138?

HAKAISHA: I have to be. Ganba is one of the best wrestlers in Japan, probably one of the best in the world. If I come at him with less than my best he's going to go home with the title. And I owe Ganba my thanks. He could have gone home with the title last week but he chose to do things the Right Way and I thank him for that. Make no mistake. This Sunday I will wrestle Ganba, I will do it the Right Way, and I will still be AWL World's Heavyweight Champion.

But come AWL 140, I will FIGHT Crisis Gundan and I WILL put the last of my past behind me. Yarina is gone. Yarina Talent Management Inc. is gone. Jack, Giant, soon you will be gone too!

That was supposed to be the end of the blog post for today, but nope. Just a few minutes ago we received a message from El Rudo Rojo and the AWL Commissioner has ordered it posted. You have been warned and you know who to blame...not me!

That pu**y commissioner is a cowardly dog and I don't care who knows it! I beat a ligit giant to become AWL World Light Heavyweight Champion (saving myself from Batsumania in the process) and not only do I not get the massive celebration I deserve, I haven't even been booked on the show in weeks! BULLS**T!! I demand a match at AWL 140. I'm a champion dammit, I should get the big money on the big shows!!

What a jackass! I'll be back tomorrow with By the Numbers.

Commissioner's Weekly Address.

Without further ado, here's the boss:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am the AWL...Commissioner. And I am rather angry this week. While I feel it is in the best interest of the Animated Wrestling League to cultivate an attitude of healthy competition among out wrestlers, things have gotten out of hand. I speak of course of the rivalry between Crisis Gundan and the former Golden Duo of HAKAISHA and DOOMBUNNY. Thanks to them, I was unable to present an advertised World Championship Match at AWL 137. This is UNACCEPTABLE!

Therefore I hereby COMMISSION a match between these teams at AWL 140. The rivalry will end there and then because this match will be contested under Grudge Match Rules, it will be an Elimination Match, and the losing team MAY NEVER TEAM IN THE ANIMATED WRESTLING LEAGUE AGAIN!

AWL 140: MAIN EVENT!

Crisis Gundan vs. HAKAISHA & DOOMBUNNY

Elimination Grudge Match

Losing Team Must Disband!!

With that out of the way, here is the fight card for this weekend's AWL 138 event:

AWL 138:

Main Event:

HAKAISHA! (C) vs. Ganba (#1)

AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match

5th Title Defense

The New Classics vs. The Augments

Trios Match

Big & Spicy (2) vs. Bullet Club (0)

Points on the Line

Dragon vs. ????

Dragon Debut Series Match

Joe Obber vs. Tiger Mask II

Danger Zone Match

THIS! I have COMMISSIONED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--XOXO AWL Commissioner.

This is getting old.

I am getting really sick of starting off so many of these blog posts with "Here's my attempt to make sense of the chaos last weekend."

OK, last weekend at AWL 137 we were unable to present the advertised main event because the World Champion HAKAISHA was attacked backstage by Crisis Gundan and was unable to fight. Under AWL Rules, this would normally result in a forfit and HAKAISHA would lose the title. Lucky for him, as soon as the security camera footage of the attack became published, Ganba (The #1 Contender) refused the match himself. Therefore the match is offically a Double Forfeit and a No Contest. HAKAISHA is still champion and Ganba is still #1 Contender.

This weekend that match WILL take place. By order of the AWL Commissioner, anyone who interferes in that match before or during the contest will be fired. No excuses.

AWL 138 Main Event

HAKAISHA (C) vs. Ganba (#1)

AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match

5th Title Defense

As for Crisis Gundan. The AWL Commissioner has promised a special announcement regarding them tomorrow in his Weekly Address so stay tuned for that.

Lastly, I have some news regarding Batsumania. As of AWL 137, two wrestlers are mathematically locked in the Danger Zone. Meaning that there is not enough time between now and the season finale for them to win their way out of the zone. These two men WILL compete in Batsumania:

American Beetle

Jon Shina

Of interesting note, Jon Shina MUST win his first ever match in the AWL if he is to survive into Season 8. Things are looking good for American Beetle in that case. Also, the loss in the impromptu tag team match last weekend has pushed Tiger Mask II back down into the zone. He will have the chance to fight his way out this weekend at AWL 138.

AWL 137

AWL 137: HAKAISHA! vs. Ganba 投稿者 AWLBoss

OK, the video quality isn't very good.  I had to convert to an AVI file because for some reason Sony Vegas wasn't letting me use my usual MOV format.  I should have this fixed by next week but until then, please enjoy the show as best you can.

Arrrrrgh!!

There is now a dent in my wall suspiciously the same size and shape of my forehead.  I've now tried to render this week's AWL episode 5 times and every time (at the END of the multi-hour process) I get an error message and no file.  There're a couple more things I can try, but I don't think this thing is going to be posted tonight.

I'm sorry.  I'll get it up as soon as I can.

Lots of talking before lots of fighting.

We're starting off tonight with some brief comments from the 4 men who will compete to enter the AWL Best 4 this weekend at AWL 137:

“Big" Ben Nelson:

Fantastic! Nobody in this company knows bettern than me that oportunities like this don't come around every day. I'm not wasting it!

Ma-Ji-Ku:

He sostenido cada campeonato en estacompañía excepto el World HeavyweightChampionship. Mi carrera no durará para siempre. No voy a dejar que esta oportunidadme pasan. Yo soy el guerrero de la luz. SoyLucha Libre.

(I've held every championship in this company except the World Heavyweight Championship. My career won't last forever. I'm not letting this chance pass me by. I am the Warrior of Light. I am Lucha Libre.)

Jack Butcher:

Aw yeah! This weekend, my old mate Wondy and I are going to walk all over those little guys right into the Best 4.

Wonder Kid:

Tag Team? I ask for a challenge and you put me in a freaking tag team match? I do not now and have never needed a tag team partner. Yeah, I could do a whole lot worse than Jack, but this still ain't what I had in mind.

And now some comments from the champion and challenger in this week's AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match:

Ganba:

あなたの誇りがあります。あなたは正しい方法の事をやってみたかったと述べた。あなたはそれをやった。おめでとうございます。しかし、今週末もう一度すべての上に自分自身を証明する必要があります。チャンピオンシップのため来ています。私の選手権。スタートからフィニッシュまで、俺はいつも頑張ります。

(I'm proud of you. You said you wanted to do things the right way. You did it. Congratulations. But this weekend you will have to prove yourself all over again. I am coming for that championship. My championship. From start to finish, I always do my best.)

HAKAISHA!:

最初に、私は申し訳ありません。私は申し訳ありません子供カナダ選手。先週、間違った場所にあった。私はほぼあなたを殺した。それは許されるです。それは正しい方法ではなかった。

今週の日曜日私は日本でベストを戦います。私は自分自身を証明する必要があります。先輩は正しいです。俺も頑張ります。私の恥が破壊されます。私はあなたを破壊します。

(First, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Kid Canada. I was in the wrong place last week. I nearly killed you. It's unforgivable. It wasn't the right way.

This Sunday I will fight the best in Japan. I must prove myself. 先輩 is correct. 俺も頑張ります。 I will destroy my shame. I will destroy you.)