AWL 51: Wonder Kid vs. Matt Hardy

AWL 51 by AWLBoss

For only the second time in 2013, the AWL World Heavyweight Championship will be defended as Wonder Kid faces Matt Freaking Hardy!  In addition, a massive trios match, a quest for revenge, and a whole lot more of the animated wrestling action you know, love, and crave.

Sorry this week is a couple of hours late.  Real life got in the way.  The good news is that I should end this weekend with a one to two week buffer.  Enjoy the show!

Full Card for AWL 51.

Greetings wrestling fans and here is the card for this weekend's AWL 51 card.

MAIN EVENT:

Wonder Kid (C) vs. Matt Hardy--AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match!

After surviving the 10 minute challenge last week, the elder Hardy brother has earned a shot at the biggest championship of his career.  Traditionally, we offer interview time to both participants of a World Title Match, but that isn't possible in this case.  Yarina Tallent Management Inc. has only responded with a loud "No Comment."  And . . . well . . . we couldn't afford to pay Hardy for an additional appearance.  Still, it's Matt Freaking Hardy in the AWL.  How cool is that?

SEMI FINAL:

Libre/Ma-Ji-Ku/Ganba vs. The N.R.E.--Best of 7 Series: Trios Match.

At the end of AWL 50, a massive brawl broke out as Ganba attacked his arch enemy Bubba Reese.  After the camera cut out, AWL officials were able to break up the fray but as Libre (who, remember, has control of the stipulations for the next match) was yelling "TRIOS, TRIOS, TRIOS!!" at the top of his lungs.  So here it is, 3 on 3, one fall to a finish.

"Big" Ben Nelson vs. HAKAISHA

After absolutely DESTROYING Striker last week, his tag team partner "Big" Ben Nelson has requested and been granted a one on one match with one half of Crisis Gun-dan, HAKAISHA.  It's a quest for revenge at AWL 51.

Wolf vs. Black Tiger King--Fight for 4.

Two wrestlers with two of the best win loss records in the AWL go one on one for the right to eventually challenge for the AWL World Heavyweight Champion.

It's all action at AWL 51!  Tune in this weekend!!

AWL 50: Masters of the Mask vs. The N.R.E.

AWL 50 by AWLBoss

This has been a long time in coming.

It shouldn’t surprise me Tiger Mask.  It shouldn’t be a surprise that you don’t remember me.  After all, you never really cared about the rest of us, did you?  All those years living and training together and you never even bothered to learn our names.  All day every day you were “training” by which I mean kissing sensei’s ass.

              For the idiots who haven’t put it together yet, the man you call “Tiger Mask” and I were students together in the Tiger’s Cave Dojo.  We trained our entire lives in the Tiger Style of professional wrestling, knowing that when the time came only one of us would be Chosen to become the new Tiger Mask.  A legacy of glory, honor, power, and dignity . . . and all of it has been pissed away by “Tiger Mask.”  BAH!  You are even less worthy now than you were the day you were Chosen.  Do you even remember the last time you won a wrestling match?  Last I looked; you were a miserable 2-11 in the AWL.  2 WINS AND 11 LOSES!!  Pathetic!

              I was always the better wrestler, the better student, the better man.  Deep in your heart of hearts you know that mask of yours rightfully belongs to me.  At AWL 50, I’m coming for you.  We will meet in the ring and I will show the world that I am the one true Tiger Mask.  This time . . . you will remember me.

                                                                                    --Black Tiger King.

Here we go again.

From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.

              Once again and with great disappointment, we must inform the AWL community that their AWL World Heavyweight Champion will not compete at AWL 50.  We refuse to put our top client in any position as dangerous as facing an unknown opponent.  Please direct and messages of complaint to the offices of the AWL Commissioner.  Thank you and don’t worry, YTM Inc. will be represented at AWL 50 as our new tag team begins their journey of destruction.

News post

Hello Internet.  AWL 50 (as with all round number AWL events) is going to be a MASSIVE show.  I have no idea how we’re going to fit everything into our usual 60 minute time limit, but we’ll do our darnedest.  (Is “darnedest” even a real word?)

Here’s the card as it stands right now.  As always, this card is subject to change between now and this weekend.

1. MAIN EVENT: The Masters of the Mask © vs. The N.R.E. (Lucha & ????)—AWL World Tag Team Title Match.

              Match 5 in the Best of 7 Series between Lucha and Libre.  After winning the Steel Cage Match at AWL 48, Lucha has chosen “Tag Title Match” as the stipulation for this bout.  AWL officials have been pouring over the rulebooks and bylaws to confirm it, but the rules of the Best of 7 Series say that “The winner of the previous bout shall choose the stipulations for the following bout.”  Apparently, if one participant holds a championship, it’s legal to demand a title match.  While I’m usually not one to cheer for the bad guys, I must admit that this is pretty darn cleaver of Lucha.

              The other issue in play is the identity of Lucha’s partner.  All we know is that he will choose “One of [his] real brothers in the N.R.E.”  Bruce Hoyt?  Wrestler X?  We’ll all find out together at AWL 50.

2. Semi Final: Tiger Mask vs. Black Tiger King—Grudge Match

              We are anticipating a press release from Black Tiger King later this week explaining why this match deserves the rarely used (in the AWL) title of Grudge Match.

3. Team UK vs. ???? (Yarina’s new tag team)

              If you’ve been following this blog, you know that Yarina (who currently manages the AWL World Heavyweight Champion) is expanding her business into the Tag Team Division.  This weekend will be the debut match for that team.  They face stiff competition in Striker and “Big” Ben Nelson of Team UK.  But on the other hand, the Brits have no way of preparing for their opponents.  At AWL 50, either history will be made, or Yarina will have wasted a whole lot of money.  Either way, the AWL fans win.

4. Light Heavyweight Fatal 4-Way. (Participants TBA)

              This match was just made this morning as a reaction to the AWL Commissioner’s un-publishable rant regarding the state of the Light Heavyweight Division (See previous post for details).

              The 4 top challengers for the AWL Light Heavyweight Championship (as determined by their win-loss records) will compete in a one fall match to determine the #1 contender.

Again, this card is subject to change.  There’s a lot of time between now and AWL 50.  Stay tuned to this page for all the Animate Wrestling League news you need . . . and quite a bit that you don’t.

We really had to edit this one.

Despite his official victory over Ma-Ji-Ku, Lucha is NOT the #1 Contender to the AWL Light Heavyweight Championship.  That honor will be decided at AWL 50.

                                                                                    --AWL Commissioner

Editor’s note: The preceding post is a great simplification of a memorandum sent to us by the Commissioner’s office this morning.  It is our usual policy to post such memos in their entirety.  However, the message from the Commissioner was so expletive laden and rant filled that we are unable to do so.

AWL 49: N.R.E. "All In"

AWL 49 by AWLBoss

Full Card for AWL 49.

Good evening wrestling fans!  RyuSensei here with all the news you need going into this weekend’s AWL 49 event.

First and I think foremost, each and every member of the N.R.E. will be in singles completion this weekend.  These guys have proven themselves quite skilled and sneak attacks and group muggings, but at AWL 49 they must prove themselves where it counts: In the ring.  And the AWL Commissioner has assembled an impressive team of opponents for the out and proud heels.

Wrestler X faces the largest athlete on the roster: Tiny!

“Boxing Bastard” Bruce Hoyt fights the best martial artist in wrestling today: Striker!

And team leader Lucha faces the man with the best win-loss record in the AWL.  The longest reigning champion in AWL history.  The man who currently holds TWO active championships and is on the path toward ALL the gold.  Light Heavyweight & Tag Team Champion: Ma-Ji-Ku.

Additionally, there is currently a hole in the AWL Best 4:

1. <TBA>

2. Ma-Ji-Ku

3. Dragon

4. ????

So it’s time for a Fight for 4!  At AWL 49, there will be a 10-Man Battle Royal.  The winner becomes #4 Contender for the AWL World Heavyweight Championship.

All of your favorite AWL Wrestlers will be there (except, well, Wonder Kid) so tune into this very website this weekend for AW…Wait a minute.

THIS JUST IN!  Wonder Kid has ACCEPTED the challenge of “Peacemaker” Luke James for AWL 49!  It will be a standard rules, non-title match, but Wonder Kid WILL be at AWL 49.

And Luke James is out of his damn mind.

From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc

 From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.:

We deeply regret to inform the AWL fans that the AWL World Heavyweight Champion Wonder Kid will NOT be appearing on any AWL program unless and until the AWL Commissioner reveals the identity of the now #1 contender in the AWL Best 4.  A champion the caliber of Wonder Kid deserves time to study and prepare for his opponents.  Where else in sports do you see this kind of blatant favoritism by an authority figure?  Again, we regret the necessity of depriving the AWL fans of the privilege of seeing the Man Muscle Mountain compete, but there is no one to blame but the AWL Commissioner.

In other business news, the expansion of Yarina Talent Management Inc. is coming along splendidly.  While we are quite limited in the details we can reveal regarding ongoing contract negotiations, we CAN reveal that YTM Inc. has signed a pair of new wrestlers that will soon be competing in the AWL Tag Team Division.  There are still a few wrinkles to be ironed out, but we look to complete the transaction in time for AWL 50.

Planning for the Future

Translated from Spanish:

              Well, you got your cage match and what happened?  I beat you in basically one freaking move!  Now that I know just how easy it is to beat you in the middle of the ring, I have been handed a golden opportunity.  I have a chance to not only break your body, but your precious technico spirit at the same time.  And never let it be said that I, and the N.R.E., don’t take full advantage of the opportunities we MAKE for ourselves.

              Libre, I challenge you to . . . a Tag Team Championship Match!  You and Ma-Ji-Ku against me and one of my real brothers in the N.R.E. you may THINK you’ve found success in the AWL, but like all the good things in your life, big brother is here to take them from you.

              Oh, and a match of this importance deserves to be the main event of a major show.  So our match will happen . . . at AWL 50!

AWL 48: Wonder Kid vs. Ganba

AWL 48 by AWLBoss

Interviews with Ganba and Wonder Kid.

 In accordance with AWL tradition, both champion and challenger in this weekend’s AWL World Championship Match will be given the opportunity to address both the fans and their opponent in this forum.  First, the champion, through his manager:

From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.

This weekend, at AWL 48, YOUR AWL World Heavyweight Champion will destroy Ganba to retain his title and prove all the doubters wrong.  Wonder Kid has grown tired of all the filthy propaganda against him by the AWL Commissioner and his minions like RyuSensei.  So the Man Muscle Mountain allowed Ganba to survive the 10 Minute Challenge.  Let the domination at AWL 48 stand for all time as a testament to the fighting spirit of the greatest professional wrestler in the world: Wonder Kid.

And now, the challenger:

それは嘘だ！　も一回ビデオを見えてください。最後の１０分でウルトラカラナに２．９カウントをしました。キッドは何でも仮しなかた！　AWL４８では俺をAWL王者になる。いつも頑張ります。

                                                                                    ――ガンバ

By order of the AWL Commissioner, a translator has asked to translate that into English for our foreign readers:

That is a lie!  Look at the video again.  In the last 10 seconds of the match, I hit you with an ultrakanrana for a 2.9 count.  Wonder Kid didn’t “allow” a damn thing.  At AWL 48, I will become AWL Champion.  Always give it your all.

                                                                                    --Ganba

Meanwhile, back at our story...

Translated from Spanish:

              I’m going to make this simple.  Lucha, I am a better wrestler than you.  When you don’t have your friends, when you can’t run away, when it’s just the two of us, I can beat you.

              At AWL 48, I WILL beat you to tie up this series . . . in a Steel Cage Match!

                                                                                                  --Libre

RIP Paul Bearer

The Animated Wrestling League is saddened to hear of the passing of Bill "Paul Bearer" Moody.  Many thanks to mister Moody for years of entertainment and more than a few childhood nightmares. He was simply the best manager in the history of the wrestling business and, from all reports, a genuinely good person.  He also happened to be the first wrestling voice impression I ever did.  Thank you sir.  With all due respect (and pun very much intended) may you Rest . . . In . . .
Peace, ooooohh yeeeeeesssss.

AWL 47: Technicos vs. Masters of the Mask

AWL 47 by AWLBoss

 Hello Internet!  Ryu Sensei here bringing you the final card for AWL 47!

MAIN EVENT: The Technicos © vs. The Masters of the Mask—AWL World Tag Team Championship Match.

              Nearly two months ago, the Masters of the Mask blazed on to the scene in the tag team division and won a 4 team tournament to earn this title shot.  Since then, Libre has been occupied by his Best of Seven Series with Lucha, but that has been put on a one week hiatus by the AWL Commissioner so that this Tag Team Title Match can take place.

              On the other side of the AWL ring, the newly crowned AWL World Tag team Champions have been waiting anxiously for their first title defense.  With the Submission Exhibition showing some chinks in the proverbial armor, a strong win here will go a long way towards improving team morale.

              Who will come out victorious?  The American Pro Wrestlers or the Luchadores?  Will the N.R.E. make their presence felt?  Find out this weekend at AWL 48.

Semi Final: Ganba vs. Wonder Kid—10 Minute Challenge.

              At long last, one of the longest running rivalries in the Animate Wrestling League returns to your computer screens.  Years ago, it was Ganba who ended Wonder Kid’s first title reign at exactly 364 days.  That loss haunts the AWL Champion to this day.  But ever since he regained the title back in December, the Man Muscle Mountain has been undefeated in these 10 Minute Challenges, even turning back Black Tiger King last week.  Will he finally be able to put the past behind him . . . in less than 10 minutes?

Tiger Mask vs. Black Tiger King.

             After the . . . not exactly revelations on the blog earlier this week, this could be a match of epic significance.  Will more of the mystery of Black Tiger King be revealed?  You'll just have to watch the video to find out.

All that and so much more on AWL 47!

From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.

From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.

              This weekend, history will be made and history will be rewritten!  At AWL 47, Ganba will face the 10 minute challenge.  The Man Muscle Mountain and AWL World Heavyweight Champion has the opportunity to right a years old wrong and finally expose Ganba for the pathetic excuse for a professional wrestler that he is.  Wonder Kid is going to take the so-called “Japanese Megastar” and smash him so far into the ground; he’ll wake up in the wrong hemisphere!

              In other news, we here at YTM Inc. must once again lodge an official protest over the hidden identity of the now #2 contender.  If this problem isn’t addressed soon, there will be serious and regrettable consequences.

              To end this announcement on a positive note, plans are moving forward to expand our business.  Further details will be coming soon.

Good luck reading this one

Hey man, Lee Masters here speakin for Camp Technicos.  We got a fight set for AWL 47.  It’s us against Libre & Ma-Ji-Ku.  They’ve been duckin us for like weeks man.  Cause, ya know, they don’t want none a this.  We’s the AWL Tag Team Champions and those little guys ain’t got nuthin on us.  They got no strikin, they got no jits, they got a little bit a wrestlin but nothing like what we got.  We’re gonna take the fight ta the mat, control ‘em, and tap ‘em out.  Bing bang paid.  So boys, at AWL 47 you had better bring it because you have never faced nothin like us.  Until then kids, kiss my jits.

                                                                                                  --Lee Masters

You can't handle the truth.

Translated from Japanese

So, you want to know who I am “Tiger Mask?”  Heh.  You know exactly who I am.  Maybe you don’t remember me, but you should.  You ruined my life.  You stole everything that was important to me.  Now, here I am.  Ready to do the same to you.

.

.

.

Still haven’t figured it out yet?  OK.  There’s a way to fix that.  Remember what Satoyama-Sensei always said?  “Fighting styles are like fingerprints.  To fight a man is to know a man.”

So be a man “Tiger Mask.”  Fight me in the ring next weekend.  Perhaps I will refresh your memory, after I drop you with the Black Tiger Driver!

                                                                                                  --Black Tiger King

Editor’s Note: We tried to reach out to Tiger Mask or Shin Tora for comment but they have declined to go on the record.