Greetings wrestling fans! I hope you're as excited as I am for tomorrow's AWL 65 event and if you aren't, you should be! This week, for only the 5th time in 2013, the AWL World Heavyweight Championship will be on the line as Matt Classic challenges Wonder Kid for the most coveted prize in all of animated wrestling. In accordance with AWL tradition, we will now give both the champion and challenger an opportunity to make a public statement. First, representing the defending champion, Yarina:
From the offices of Yarina Talent Management Inc.
We shall overcome! After last week's hideous and completely uncalled for blackmail of our esteemed founder, Yarina has recovered sufficiently to accompany YTM's top client Wonder Kid to the ring as he once again steps up like the fighting champion he is and . . . beats up an old man? Seriously, why is Matt Classic allowed to compete at his age? Wonder Kid will derive no pleasure from what he has to do tomorrow, but the job will be done none the less. Nothing personal Matt, it's just business.
And now, a word from the challenger, dictated to one of our secretaries when Matt Classic failed to understand the concept of e-mail.
Take this down young lady. Dear AWL Fans, for too long you have been saddled with a champion of low moral character and a dubious understanding of sportsmanship. I accuse Wonder Kid of being a cowardly champion who regularly avoids competition to pad the length of his title reign. In my day we had a word for people like you, but my student Sammy [Nix] has told me that that word is "no longer politically correct." Not sure what that means, but OK. At AWL 65 it doesn't matter if Yarina is at ringside or not because you are going to face something you're not used to and something you're not . . . a wrestler! I have forgotten more holds than you ever knew. Tomorrow, it's time to go to school, boy.
Strong words from both camps including a few baldfaced lies from Yarina. In addition to the main event, we have a strong line up for you at AWL 65 and here it is:
Main Event:
Wonder Kid (C) vs. Matt Classic
Ganba vs. El Santo Azul
The Super Tiger Bros.
vs. Dragon & James
Eddie Kingston vs. Ben Nelson
The Colony vs. The N.R.E.
Join us for all the action right here in less than 24 hours!
--RyuSensei
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