I really don't like these guys!

Ugh! Er...sorry if I seem a little...uh...out of it at the moment. The Bullet Club just showed up here at AWL HQ and decided to raise all sorts of chaos. They were swilling beer (most of which ended up on the furniture), blasting some horrible excuse for music through some portable speakers, and being extremely rude to the secretaries. And that's not even mentioning their attire. I try not to be a snob about such things, but when are those fools going to realize that they live in Japan? Running around an office and showing off your tattoos only make you look like a bunch of criminals.

Why? Why pull this stunt? To deliver a message of course. And why could be so important as to basically ruin the work day of everyone in the building and probably get us in trouble with the landlord? Well here it is, the full text:

At AWL 127, a new member of the Bullet Club will debut.

It's like Shakespeare, ain't it?

.

.

.

jackasses.

Not everyone agrees with the a-hole.

Well, this has been a fun day. It started with yet another racist rant from Yamada Jiro which, in the interest of good taste, we've decided not to publish. In short, he issued an open challenge to any non-Japanese wrestler on the AWL roster. Normally, this is where I'd post the whatever match was thrown together in response to this (office gossip says that Tiny was slotted for this role) but that's when things got interesting.

The AWL Commissioner received a personal visit (no phone calls, no e-mail, he actually came to the office personally) from one of the AWL's Japanese wrestlers. He wanted the match with Yamada Jiro because he's embarrassed at how bad Yamada is making his nation look. So it is with a certain amount of glee that I announce for AWL 127:

Yamada Jiro (#4) vs. Tiger Mask II

And remember the new rules of the Best 4. If Yamada loses this match, Tiger Mask II will replace him as #4 contender.

AWL title on the line at AWL 127!

I'll be honest, I was expecting the AWL Commissioner to be furious after the footage of the parking lot brawl between Crisis Gundan and the Golden Duo was broadcast as part of AWL 126. But no. Earlier today, I received a once sentence e-mail from the boss' office.

If they want to fight so badly, do it in the ring!

Along with the announcement that the following matches have been signed for AWL 127:

HAKAISHA! (C) vs. Jack Butcher (#1)

AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match

1st Title Defense

DOOMBUNNY vs. Super Giant

Non-Title Match

So the issue between the AWL Champion and the #1 contender will be settled in a wrestling match? Good! That's how it should be. And having the tag team partners wrestle each other immediately before hand should keep them both out of the main event, thereby insuring a level playing field. It all happens this Sunday morning (Japan time) at AWL 127.

AWL 126: Puma vs. Bunny

AWL 126: Puma vs. Bunny by AWLBoss

Champion and challenger

We are less than 24 hours away from probably the biggest match the AWL Light Heavyweight Division has seen in a VERY long time. The young sensation, champion and ace of Lucha Underground, and all around cool cat Prince Puma will challenge the man he has already beaten twice, the original bunny man of professional wrestling, the Man from the Strawberry Patch, The DOOMBUNNY! We caught up with both champion and challenger to get their thoughts on this title match:

DOOMBUNNY: OKOKOKOKOKOKOK! IadmitityoubeatmeattheNewYear'sTournamentandyoubeatmeatAWL123. You'regoodatthissportinfactIthinkyou'regreatbutthistimeit'snotaboutatournamentoraboutprideit'sabouttheAWLWorldLightHeavyweightChampionship!!

Ihadtofighttowinthistitle,Ihadtofighttowinitback,andyoucanbedamnsureIwillfighttokeepit! NaturemaysaythatyouarethehunterandI'mthepreybutthisisn'tthenaturalworldthisistheWrestlingWorldandhereI'mthetopofthefoodchain. I'mtheAWLWorldLightHeavyweightChampion. I'mgoingtostaythatway. Hashtagbunnytruth!

Well, that was.....fast. We also spoke to the challenger or at least we tried to. We got a message from Konnan, Prince Puma's manager demanding that we cease any and all attempts to contact his client and deal with him directly. Knowing it's never a good idea to tick off a legend, we complied and asked Konnan for a statement. What we got was the following:

Konnan:

I understand your wanting to talk to Prince Puma. But you have to remember that the AWL is not important. Prince Puma is the Lucha Underground Champion and THAT has to be his priority. The only reason I allow Puma to compete in your little federation is the long tradition of a young luchador going around the world to hone their craft. I did it, those that came before me did it, and those that will come after Puma will do it. But don't get a big head, you are just his dojo.

Make no mistake, Prince Puma will become a champion in the AWL, but nobody will care. It'll be a nice note on his Wikipedia page. Nothing else.

What a jerk! Looks like Vampiro is right about that guy. I strongly doubt those are Prince Puma's actual opinions, but that's neither here nor there. Two of the best fliers in wrestling today will fight for the gold. What more can you ask for? See you tomorrow!

Two Japans

Today we have a double whammy for you from two of our top Japanese wrestlers. First, the self proclaimed "Pure Spirit of Puro" is the first to take advantage of the new rules governing the AWL Best 4:

Yamada Jiro:

AWL外人でトップすべての挑戦者はなぜですか？オーストラリア、トランシルバニア、カナダ、およびメキシコ人。これは日本です！日本は、日本語のものです。彼らは私たちの近所に住んでいる私達のリングで格闘したり、私たちの女性と結婚できませんする必要があります。我々 は彼らより良い選手です。我々 はすべてでそれらより優れています。一致する Ma-ji-kuを挑戦します。私は彼を倒すし、ベスト 4 で彼の場所を取る。

And now in English:

Why are all the top challengers in the AWL gaijin? An Australian, a Transylvanian, a Canadian, and a Mexican. This is Japan! Japan is for the Japanese. They should not be allowed to wrestle in our ring, live in our neighborhoods, or marry our women. We are better athletes than them. We are better than them at everything. I challenge Ma-Ji-Ku to a match. I will beat him and take his place in the Best 4.

Once again, I feel the need to remind all of you that the views and opinions of Yamada Jiro do not reflect the position of the Animated Wrestling League. On to more pleasant news from far more pleasant people. We have received a message from Ganba regarding one of the more puzzling happenings in the AWL today.

Ganba:

ライバルは敵ではありません。ライバルは、誰かがより高いと自分で行くことができるよりもさらにあなたをプッシュします。ワンだキッドは私のライバルです。これまで落ちる彼を見ることが痛い。この週末だろうかキッドとの試合をしますうまくいけば、私は彼にすることができ、これのすべてを引き起こしているかを学ぶ。AWL長官は、私の要求を付与してください。

And now in English:

A rival is not an enemy. A rival is someone that pushes you higher and further than you could go by yourself. Wonder Kid is my rival. It hurts me to see him fall so far. I want a match with Wonder Kid this weekend. Hopefully I can get through to him and learn what is causing all of this. AWL Commissioner, please grant my request.

Obviously, the Commissioner agreed so the following two matches have been signed for AWL 126:

Yamada Jiro vs. Ma-Ji-Ku (#4)

Ganba vs. Wonder Kid

On failure

Today's entry comes from the leader and creator of The Augments, Dr. Jigoku:

One of the first things scientists learn is that every experiment yields new information. Information grants knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is progress. Progress is everything. Even a failed experiment teaches us something. It is because of this that I am not afraid to admit to failure. The Strike Taka experiment has been a failure. Strike Taka was my first attempt at genetic manipulation of an non-clone subject. Clearly more research needs to be done. Perhaps...Yes...perhaps I was too cautious. To subtle. Hmm. Perhaps a simple increase would be.....superior.

A few hours after we received this message, Dr. Jigoku sent a request to the AWL Commissioner for a match between Strike Taka and a member of the AWL Best 4. Perhaps intrigued by Jigoku's comments, the Commissioner agreed and this match was signed:

Strike Taka w/Dr. Jigoku vs. Kid Canada (#2)

In other news, a tag team match has also been signed for AWL 126 and of course, points are in play:

The Bullet Club (1) vs. The New Classics (0)

Decree from the AWL Commissioner

Shoot comment: Sorry this week's posts have taken so long. I blew my back out the other day and have spent all of my spare time since either flat on my back in bed or Jeff Hardy level pilled up on painkillers. But as they say, the show must go on:

It's going to be a busy week here in the AWL. To start us off, we have a message from the AWL Commissioner not only addressing the events of AWL 125, but a major announcement regarding the heavyweight division:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am the AWL Commissioner. First of all, allow me to apologize for the unsportsmanlike actions of the AWL Wrestler known as Jack Butcher. To attack a fellow athlete after he has already wrestled a match is unacceptable. Both Jack Butcher and Super Giant have been fined the equivalent of 1 week's pay. Further such actions may result in Jack Butch being stripped of his #1 contender's status.

Speaking of the AWL Best 4, the recent match between HAKAISHA! and Jack Butcher gave me an idea. Top contender's should not be allowed to lose matches without some sort of penalty. Therefore! From this moment forward ANY member of the AWL Best 4 who loses a singles match will be reduced in rank by one place. If the #4 wrestler loses, he will be replaced but the wrestler who defeated him.

Lastly, allow me to announce the main event for next weekend's AWL 126:

DOOMBUNNY (C) vs. Prince Puma

AWL World Light Heavyweight Championship Match

THIS! I have COMMISSIONED!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

--XOXO AWL Commissioner.

AWL 125: Ma-Ji-Ku vs. Styles--Fight for 4

AWL 125: Ma-Ji-Ku vs. Style--Fight for 4! by AWLBoss

Last set of promos before AWL 125,

Last but not least, some important individuals are being given the mic before the show this weekend. First up, the AWL's resident mad scientist and the creator of The Augments.

Dr. Jigoku: Before we begin, it must be made clear that if my Augments had a mere few more seconds in that trios match we would have been victorious and proven that we are SUPERIOR! But in the end i suppose it doesn't really matter. Once again this week, all three of my Augments will once again fight in the Animated Wrestling League. It pleases me to know that the AWL Commissioner sees the value in my SUPERIOR wrestlers. Strike Taka will render that little fool El Santo Azul into pieces and send him back to Mexico in disgrace. He had better do that at least or I shall be forced to...rethink this experiment.

As for the tag team division. I don't care how much the other teams cheat. We WILL win the match. We WILL earn our 3 points. We WILL become champions and take our RIGHTful place...in the light.

Lastly, A.J. Styles may have already spoken as part of the Bullet Club promo a few days ago, but something...interesting has happened in the meantime:

A.J. Styles: WAHOOO! Yeah BABY!! You are looking at the NEW IWGP Heavyweight Champion, TWO times baby! And you are looking at the leader of the most dominant faction in the history of New Japan—NO, in the history of ALL of wrestling: The Bullet Club! Anderson & Gallows are IWGP Tag Champs, the Young Bucks are Junior Tag Champs, and my man Kenny Omega is the singles Jr. Heavyweight Champion! The next step is to take over the AWL the way we have NJPW. Why? Cause we can!

Big bunch of promos part 2

Continuing our series of promos for this weekend's AWL 125, two more tag teams are being given the stage.

All Americans:

Hassan: Yamada Jiro, you and I still have unfinished business. But this Sunday at AWL 125, it's all about the points and it's all about climbing back to the top of the mountain and reclaiming OUR AWL World Tag Team Titles! And lucky lucky us, we get The Augments.

American Beetle: Last week, you Augments wrestled us and maple boy to a draw. WHAT IN THE NAME OF LINCOLN'S BEARD IS THAT! There's no "draws" in AMERICAN rasselin! But this is the AWL so we must follow the law and order of this fed. But this Saturday

Hassan: Dude, it's Sunday.

American Beetle: I go by AMERICAN time! This Saturday, we're going to get some good old fashioned American shock and awe style vengeance on you freaks. And since we know you dogs like to run in a pack, we're bringing that Canadian guy with us.

Hassan: See you in the ring weirdos.

DOOMBUNNY & HAKAISHA!:

DOOMBUNNY: ThechampsarecomingthechampsarecomingthechampsareHERE!! AWL125,weare goingtokickyourbuttsandwe'regoingtobethefirstduoinAWLhistorytoholdALLthegold!!!!!!

HAKAISHA!: Relax 相棒relax! 俺のパートナは元気すぎるですが彼は正しだ。Masters選手とNix選手は上手なプロレスーラです。でも、俺はAWLチャンピオン、彼はAWLライトチャンピオン。一緒におれたちはゴールデンヅオ！　勝ちは必然的！

First set of a whole bunch of promos

There's a lot of action set for AWL 125 and the rankings in both the tag team and singles divisions will be shaken up. We've decided to take the next couple of days and give all the interested parties the chance to speak about this weekend's show. This is an open forum and no topics are off limits.

Bullet Club:

Karl Anderson: This is BULLSHIT! We lost our point, for WHAT!! We didn't interfere in any match, we didn't hurt anybody too bad. And besides, that jagoff Ganba was askin' for it! The AWL Commissioner is scared of us. He knows the Bullet Club is the hottest thing in wrestling and there ain't nothing you can do about it. Fat boy and Jackass, listen up. The Bullet Club is 4 Life and you're the next targets in the crosshairs of the Machine Gun Rat-a-tat-tat TOO SWEET!!

A.J. Styles: You're damn right Anderson! And that's not all! I'm taking my title back. I'm A.J. Styles, quite simply, the best wrestler on planet earth. I've been champion everywhere I've been and this two bit joke of a promotion is no exception. This week, I'm squashing a Mexican jumping bean and then I'm coming for Haki, Haku, whatever he calls himself. Keep the belt warm for me boy!

How nice. Now let's hear from their opponents.

Big & Spicy:

Curry Man: Oh yes yes yes, Curry Man Ichiban. Tiny Ichiban. Bullet-bu, niban, sanban, yonban. Hey, nani--*

Tiny: Let me handle this bro. Bullet Club! You think you're bad? You think you're tough? You think you're real big men, don't ya? Well, I'm the biggest, baddest, toughest man in the AWL and now that I'm back in the ring, there ain't nothin you can do to stop me. Yeah, I dance and I like to have a fun time, but in that ring it's ALL business baby. You boys are our first step to the tag straps, but I'm here ta announce that I want my world title back! The next time a slot opens up in the Best 4, you'd betta all get out of my way, cause the big man's coming for ya! Now finish up C.M.:

Curry Man: Big & Spicy.....ICHIBAN!!

Full Card for AWL 125!

We're going to try something different this week. The AWL Commissioner has decided to announce the card for AWL 125 NOW instead of at the end of the week.

Main Event:

Ma-Ji-Ku vs. A.J. Styles

Fight for 4

We have a brand new AWL World's Heavyweight Champion! That means that there is an opening in the AWL Best 4. The Commissioner has taken a look at the win-loss rankings and chosen these two top level wrestlers to compete for an eventual title shot.

HAKAISHA! & DOOMBUNNY (1) vs. The New Classics (0)

The first of THREE tag team matches on this show. Currently, the Golden Duo of HAKAISHA! and DOOMBUNNY are the only team with any points to their names. They defend that point and seek a second against two of the best scientific wrestlers in the world today, the New Classics.

Strike Taka vs. El Santo Azul

Dr. Jigoku's newest creation hasn't exactly been a resounding success. At AWL 125, the "improved" clone of Ma-Ji-Ku will face the real deal's long time tag team partner, El Santo Azul. He may no longer officially be the future of lucha libre, but the blue saint will still prove a challenge for the newest Augment. And Dr. Jigoku doesn't seem like the type to tolerate failure.

The All Americans (0) vs. The Augments (0)

Speaking of the bad doctor, his first two creations will be competing in our second tag team match this Sunday. They face two thirds of the trio that battled them to a draw at AWL 124, the All Americans.

Bullet Club (0) vs. Big & Spicy (0)

If you recall, the Bullet Club were stripped of their one point as punishment for attacking Ganba at AWL 122 after the Japanese Mega Star defeated Bullet Club leader A.J. Styles for the world's title. Luckily for them, the AWL Commissioner doesn't hold a grudge. The Bullet Club did the crime, paid their fine, and now get to start all over again at the bottom of the tag team division. The face the returning team of Curry Man and Tiny (who has been off for a couple of months rehabbing a knee injury). It's the NWO ripoffs verses the dancing fools at AWL 125!

Wonder Kid vs. Kid Canada (#2)

I admit, I have mixed feelings about this match. On the one hand, Wonder Kid did technically show up last Saturday. But on the other hand he didn't lift a finger in his match, allowed himself to be pinned, and couldn't even be bothered to change into his wrestling gear! I don't know why the AWL Commissioner hasn't fired him, but it is what it is. He faces the Most Canadian Man in the World this weekend...I hope.

National Pro Wrestling Day 2015!

AWL Presents: NPWD 2015 by AWLBoss

Click here to donate to the Seva Foundation in the name of National Pro Wrestling Day!

AWL 124: Masters of the Mask vs. Dragon & James

AWL 124: Master of the Mask vs. Dragon & James by AWLBoss

Final Card for AWL 124

Not much to add this time. Only two notes:

1. Current AWL Best 4 #2 Contender Jack Butcher will be in action.

2. The identity of the opponent for Wonder Kid's "command performance" has been announced as Yamada Jiro. Heh heh, if he wants to fight a foreigner, try the Man Muscle Mountain!

With that out of the way, here is the full card:

MAIN EVENT:

Masters of the Mask (C) vs. Dragon & James (3)

AWL World Tag Team Title Match

3rd Defense

The Augments vs. American Beetle, Hassan, and Kid Canada

Trios Match

Dr. Jikoku's Open Challenge

Wonder Kid vs. Yamada Jiro

If Wonder Kid fails to appear, he is FIRED!

Jack Butcher (#2) vs. Joe Obber

It will be a short show this week to make sure the AWL wrestlers involved in National Pro Wrestling Day can make their flight to the United States.

From the Commissioner:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am the AWL Commissioner.

As I believe the colloquialism goes, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I have COMMISSIONED what looks to be a superb main event for AWL 124. Last weekend, the tag team known as Dragon and James earned their third point under the AWL tag team division's 3-Point System. Well, no time like the present I say:

Masters of the Mask (C) vs. Dragon & James (3)

AWL World Tag Team Championship Match

3rd Defense

Additionally, three AWL Wrestlers have picked up the gauntlet thrown down by Dr. Jigoku. And it is a most surprising trio:

The Augments vs. American Beetle, Hassan, and Kid Canada

Augment's Open Challenge

Unfortunately, there is also bad news that I must deliver. Last Friday, I commanded Wonder Kid, to appear in my office to explain why he did not appear at AWL 122 as scheduled. ONCE AGAIN he failed to appear. So I have no choice but to make this personal and public. Wonder Kid WILL appear at AWL 124 and he WILL wrestle. If he does not, he will be TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY and the AWL will SUE him for breach of contract!

This! I have COMMISSIONED!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

--XOXO AWL Commissioner.

Augment Open Challenge

A message from Dr. Jigoku:

INCONCEIVABLE!! That my Augments could be defeated by those.....INFERIOR wrestlers Dragon and Luke James. I mean, think about it, the old man and the red neck. IMPOSSIBLE!! I have no idea how they cheated but they must have cheated. THIS SHALL NOT STAND!!!

My Augments and I hereby issue an open challenge to any three AWL wrestlers. Come to AWL 124 and face my Augments in a trios match and you shall see that we are SUPERIOR!!

I might be out of my mind, but it's for a good cause.

Good news wrestling fans! The most high holiday on the pro wrestling calendar is nearly upon us. That's right, National Pro Wrestling Day 2015 is only a week away. And once again, a contingent of AWL Wrestlers will travel to Easton PA, USA to partake in the festivities. That means that there will be TWO AWL shows posted this coming weekend. AWL 124 will be posted 24 hours ahead of schedule and our contribution to National Pro Wrestling Day will be posted in our normal time slot.

This year, the AWL will be offering a 3 match card for NPWD. After AWL 123, the first match and main event has already been decided:

Ganba (C) vs. HAKAISHA!(#1)

AWL World Heavyweight Championship Match

First Title Defense

We fully expect the other two matches to be announced either this week on the blog or at AWL 124 itself.

AWL 123: Pinfalls only

AWL 123: Pin Falls Only by AWLBoss This week's offering from the Animated Wrestling League.

A quick continuity note: Prince Puma is seen in this episode wearing the Lucha Underground Championship.  This episode was recorded before the belt was destroyed by Cage.