Friday, July 28, 2017

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Final Promos...but for how long?

For what may be the final time, I turn this final blog post before the AWL Season 11 Finale over to the champion and challenger in this weekend’s all important AWL Grand Championship Match.  First, the challenger:

I wanted to fight Wrestler X.  I wanted a challenge.  Now I’m reduced to wrestling a ridiculous cowboy.  I guess I will have to be satisfied with ending the Animated Wrestling League and bringing GWM one step closer to ruling the wrestling world.
--Tiger the Great III

The world on my shoulders.  The world on my shoulders.  The world on my shoulders.  That’s all I’ve been hearing all week.  From the lockerroom to the fans, to my own family!  Even the AWL Commissioner called me into his office to “Make sure I understood the situation.”
                Well I do!  I know that if I blow it in this match we lose the Grand Championship for good and we’re off the air.  Meaning that all the boys are out of work.  I know.  I also know that I’m not the best fighter in the AWL.  I know my win-loss record.  I know that just last week that big white tiger made me tap out in the middle of the ring.  No excuses, he beat me.
                But I know something else.  I know that I AM THE AWL GRAND FREAKING CHAMPION!!  I know that I’m the man with the belt and right now that makes me the BEST WRESTLER IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!!!  Is Tiger the Great the Whatever gonna kick my ass?  Yeah!  He’s going to beat seven circles of hell out of me.  But is he going to defeat me?  Is he going to take my title?

                Hell no!  Tiger, I’ll see you on Sunday.  Everyone else, I’ll see you in Season 12.
--"Peacemaker" Luke James

Friday, July 14, 2017

Final Card for AWL 220!

AWL 220: Season 11 Finale!
MAIN EVENT
Luke James (C) vs. Tiger the Great III (IC)
AWL Grand Championship Match
Intercontinental Championship Cash-In
GWM Rules Match
1st Title Defense

Ganba vs. Project
Special Singles Match
Non-Title Match

The Empire (C) vs. T49P (3)
AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match
2nd Title Defense

RAINMAKER オカダカズチカ (C) vs. 山田二郎
IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match
8th Title Defense

Miracles (GWM) vs. X & X
Tag Team Open Invitational

???? vs. ????
AWL Dojo Graduation Match

American Beetle vs. THUGLIFE田中健一 vs. Mr. Smiles vs. El Rudo Rojo
BATSUMANIA!

 Seven incredible matches including 3 titles at stake.  Careers will begin, careers will end, and the very fate of the Animated Wrestling League hangs in the balance!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

                Last week we learned that the Augments must control a recognized championship for Dr. Jigoku to be able to summon and command the Skull Head Killer.  Since they don’t control any belts at the moment, Ganba can’t get his hands on the monster who’s been decimating our roster.
                
                Until today!

                Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor and privilege to announce that the AWL Commissioner has reinstated the AWL Anarchy Championship and awarded it to Project Tetsu!!

                While long term AWL fans will remember the Anarchy Championship, it was a singles championship with unusual rules intended to inspire chaos and excitement in our shows.  Both the challenger and the stipulations for each Anarchy Title Match were decided AT RANDOM.

                The Anarchy Championship will not be on the line at AWL 220, but it’s presence will be enough.  Win or lose, the Skull Head Killer will make itself known…and feared.


                Ganba was unavailable for comment as of press time.  In fact, I don’t think anyone’s seen him since last weekend.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

A look to the future...one way or the other.

                I may not be the biggest New Day fan in the world, but there’s something to be said for the power of positivity.  Working under the assumption that Luke James is going to defeat Tiger the Great III this Sunday and that there WILL be an AWL Season 12, the AWL Commissioner asked AWL Dojo Head Trainer Dragon to select two of his best students for a Graduation Match at AWL 220!

                It’s been a while since the last graduation match, so I’ll remind you of the rules.  Two students from the AWL Dojo face each other in a 1 fall 10 minute time limit match.  The winner receives a full time AWL Contract and joins the main roster, the loser either returns to the AWL Dojo for further training, or is expelled from the AWL (a decision entirely at Head Trainer Dragon’s discretion).  Win or lose, the Graduation Match is NOT counted in the AWL Win-Loss Rankings.  That allows all graduates a clean slate when they join the main roster.

                That’s the good news.  As you might imagine, there’s some of the other kind as well.  Miss X of Global Wrestling Monopoly has another of her stupid press announcements that, for some reason, the AWL Commissioner insists I publish:

GWM Universe!

This weekend at the final ever AWL event, Global Wrestling Monopoly proudly presents a Tag Team Open Invitational!

To give all members of the GWM Universe a preview of the type of sports entertainment you will have the privilege of enjoying once we shut down the AWL, the GWM World’s Tag Team Champions, The Miracles have issued an open invitation to any tag team in the world for a non-title exhibition match at AWL 220!

While this match is non-title, if the lucky tag team who accepts this challenge were to defeat Miracle 1 and Miracle 2, they would receive an automatic title match on a future date to be determined.

This special offer is first come, first served, so bring it on!

--Miss X

So, two new matches added to AWL 220 on top of an already stacked card.  And it’s only Wednesday!!!


(Editor’s note: We’re ignoring the end of the Tiger Mask W anime for reasons of plot convenience.)

Card for AWL 220 so far.

                With only a week to go until AWL 220 and the Season 11 Finale, the card is beginning to take shape.  While it’s highly likely that more matches will be added throughout the week, here’s what we know so far:
AWL 220 MAIN EVENT:
Luke James (C) vs. Tiger the Great III (IC)
AWL Grand Championship Match
IC Title Cash-In
Match to be contested under GWM Rules
1st Title Defense

The Empire (C) vs. T49P (3)
AWL World’s Tag Team Championship Match
1st Title Defense

RAINMAKER Okada Kazuchika (C) vs. Yamada Jiro
IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match
60 Minute Time Limit

Ganba vs. Project Tetsu
Special Singles Match

American Beetle vs. THUGLIFE田中健一 vs. Mr. Smiles vs. El Rudo Rojo
BATSUMAINA!


               5 matches including 3 championships on the line.  If this ends up being our last show, we’re going out with one hell of a bang!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

AWL 219: Hass vs. American Beetle for the last time!


AWL 219: Hassan vs. American Beetle for the... 投稿者 AWLBoss

Final words from Beetle and Hassan

While it’s not a championship match, tomorrow’s main event is certainly big enough to warrant dedicating this week’s final blog post to comments from the combatants.  But first, some background:

American Beetle and Hassan are both AWL Season Zero Originals with American Beetle having competed on the first match of our broadcast event.  Coming to the AWL from Kaiju Big Battel, he has been a mainstay of the AWL Roster ever since.  While he’s never had the best win-loss record in the world, having survived more than his fair share of Batsumania matches, he’s never failed to impress the fans with his fighting and American Spirits.  Plus, he’s usually good for a laugh.  Such as when he invented his own championship, the United States of Awesome Mega Championship First Belt.

Hassan started his AWL career as part of an international team of wrestlers called the Axis of Equality who were determined to end the Foreign/Gaijin/Racial Minority=Heel trope that has infected professional wrestling since its inception.  An American immigrant, his pride in and love for his adopted home country struck a chord even with the occasionally xenophobic Japanese fans.  The highlights of his career include defeating Vacant for the WWE Intercontinental Championship, getting that belt recognized as the AWL Intercontinental Championship, and being the first man to successfully cash that title in to become AWL Grand Champion.

American Beetle and Hassan became a tag team way back in Season 1 and were two thirds of Team USA in the World Warrior Exhibition along with “Peacemaker” Luke James in Season 2.  They’ve held the AWL World Tag Team Championship 3 times and have wrestled basically every major tag team in AWL history.

But all that changed in November of 2016.  American Beetle has always been the Anthropomorphic Personification of the United States of America, and any massive change in America itself was bound to have an effect of American Beetle.  Suddenly, he developed a taste for tacky gold accessories, lying every other breath, and dirty tactics in the wrestling ring.

The first target of this new and clearly not improved American Beetle was his own partner.  Proclaiming Hassan to be a “Fake American” and demanding he “Take off my flag and get out of my country” (yes, they were both in Japan when this was said).  These statements were accompanied by vicious and unprovoked attacks both in the ring and back stage.  This earned American Beetle a 30-day suspension.  Upon returning, Beetle hired Cage to form “The Great Americans” and

As things stand, American Beetle is LOCKED in the Batsumania Danger Zone and Hassan wants to take this possibly last opportunity to close the book on his history with the Patriotic Pugilist.
                
            With the backstory out of the way, on to the comments from both men.  Hassan this into our office this morning:
            
             I know what happened to the insect who used to be my friend.  I grieve for the good-hearted person that he was.  But I must deal with the man in front of me.  The man who has made this entire season a living hell for me…and the man I’ve beaten every chance I’ve gotten.  Beetle, you can jump me from behind, you can attack me after a match, you can smash me through the Commissioner’s desk, but every time we step into that 20 by 20 foot ring…I’m just better than you!  I always have been and I always will be.  Tomorrow, I’m going to beat you for the last time and then we’re done.  I never want to see that gaudy gold carcass of yours ever again.
            --Hassan

And now (sigh) a tweet from American Beetle:


Liarcriminal @AWLHassan has never beaten me at wrestling.  Towel must b on 2 tight.  RyuSensei is FAKE NEWS.  Worse than Keller.  SAD!

Friday, July 7, 2017

Interview with Frederick Victor

With the Tag Team Gauntlet Match less than 48 hours away, I managed to get on Skype with Frederick Victor of The Empire from his town house in London.  Big Jerry’s flat apparently isn’t set up for high speed internet…somehow.

RyuSensei: Champ, thank you for agreeing to talk to me today.

Frederick Victor: No bother at all my good man.  I assume you wanted to discuss our upcoming championship bout?

R.S.: Yes, sir.  As you know, the challengers for your titles will be determined this weekend in a Tag Team Gauntlet Match, do you have any preferences for a winner?

F.V.: Not as such.  Sadly, the tag team division in the AWL is…rather lackluster at the moment.  I feel we can defeat any team currently on the roster.  However, I encourage all of the teams to give it a jolly good try and earn the privilege of fighting myself and my associate.

R.S.: OK, any teams you would like to see lose?

F.V.: Interesting question.  Of course, as a loyal member of the AWL Roster, I do not wish to see GWM have any more chances to win our championships.  Additionally, I think we’re all just about finished with those little fellows from Mexico.  League Cosmic?  I think that’s what they’re called.  They’ve had their chances.  Time to make way for new blood.

R.S.: We’ll see what happens on Sunday.  While I have you here, I have a couple questions about you and Big Jerry.  First of all, how did you too meet?

F.V.: I placed an advertisement in the papers looking to hire a professional wrestler, he was the most qualified candidate who replied.  Simple business transaction you know.  I believe he was working some…municipal job.  Rubbish collecting, road works, something of that sort.  I offered him the chance to elevate himself and he’s taken advantage of it rather well I’d say.

R.S.: There has been a great deal of criticism of your team over the past year.  Accusations that you “make Jerry do all the work” in your matches.  How would you answer these charges?

F.V.: Absurd!  I suppose it’s not horribly surprising that people who know nothing about the fine art of professional wresting wouldn’t recognize basic strategy when they see it.  You see, ours is a partnership of unequals.  Jerry is my superior in terms of physical power and size, whereas I am his superior in skill and mental prowess.  He does the damage by breaking down our opponents and I finish them off with superior technical wrestling.  A simple strategy, I admit.  But it works splendidly.


R.S.: I doubt that will convince anybody, but that’s all the time we have for today.  Thank you, Frederick Victor, and I’m sure you’ll be watching along with the rest of us on Sunday at AWL 219 as we determine the tag team #1 Contenders in the Tag Team Gauntlet Match. 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Full Card for AWL 219.

                We still have an episode left before the Season Finale and here is the full card for this weekend’s AWL 219:
MAIN EVENT:
Hassan vs. American Beetle

Tag Team Gauntlet Match
To Be Contested to 3 Points!

Tiger the Great III & Project Tetsu vs. The AWL All Stars
Finale Preview Tag Team Match

Okada Kazuchika & Sylverhawk vs. Yamada Jiro & X-Drone
Finale Preview Tag Team Match

Cage vs. El Rudo Rojo
DANGER ZONE TIE BREAKER MATCH

Well, that must have been the price.  Dr. Jigoku insisting on having one of his auments in a match with the IWGP Heavyweight Champion.  Since the X-Drones have the same copycat ability Wrestler X…did.  This gives them access to one of the best wrestlers in the world today…crap.


I should clarify, wrestlers in other matches on the card ARE eligible to compete in the Tag Team Gauntlet Match.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

IWGP Title Match set for AWL 220!!!

                After insulting both the champion and the championship itself last weekend, Yamada Jiro has what he wants, an IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match!  The champion, Okada Kazuchika, personally lobbied the IWGP and NJPW officials to make the match happen.  Fresh off the success of New Japan’s first shows in the United States (and Okada’s most recent title defense against “American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes), they have decided that no insult to their promotion can be allowed to stand.  Therefore the following has been officially added to AWL 220:

RAINMAKER Okada Kazuchika (C) vs. Yamada Jiro
IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match
(NOTE: In accordance with IWGP Regulations, this match will have a 60 minute time limit)

                Any time we get to work with the undisputed king of Japanese pro wrestling is an honor for the Animated Wrestling League and we look forward to hosting this match at our Season Finale.

                THIS JUST IN!  Litterally as I’m typing this, I’ve just been handed an announcement that Ganba has ACCEPTED Dr. Jigoku’s offer to fight Project Tetsu at AWL 220!  But apparently there was some kind of price that Jigoku demanded event to make this lesser match happen.  I don’t have any information about what that price was, but if I find out, I’ll pass it on.

AWL 220:
Ganba vs. Project Tetsu
Special Singles Match

                It’s not the fight he wanted, but it’s a chance to strike a blow against the other evil organization plaguing the Animated Wrestling League.

Main Event for AWL 220 confirmed and a challenge has been issued.

                It’s official!  We have the main event for AWL 220, the Season 11 Finale:

AWL 220 MAIN EVENT:
“Peacemaker” Luke James (C) vs. Tiger the Great III (IC)
AWL Grand Championship Match
1st Title Defense
IC Title Cash-In
Match to be contested under GWM Rules!

                Nothing less than the fate of the Animated Wrestling League is at stake as Luke James will fight to end the threat of GWM once and for all.  However, should he falter, GWM will control the AWL Grand Championship and hence the Animated Wrestling League itself.

                In other news, Ganba has issued a formal challenge to Dr. Jigoku for a match with (and I can’t believe I’m about to type this) the Skull Head Killer!!!  That…thing…has never competed in an actual wrestling match.  I spoke to Ganba as soon as I heard the news of the challenge, he said that “Luke is doing his part to protect the AWL, I must do mine also.  That monster has been allowed to pick us off one by one for too long.  I will do what I must to end it.  That’s all!”

                Unfortunately, it appears that it isn’t as easy as it looks.  I was able to get the following comment from Dr. Jigoku:

       I shall endeavor to use small words so you can understand: If Ganba wants to commit suicide, fine.  But he CAN’T fight…my associate.  If my Augments don’t control a championship it’s almost impossible to…make…him…appear.  Ganba simply isn’t worth the…sacrifices…it would take to give him his little wrestling match.  If he likes, he can fight Project Tetsu.  That’s what it was built for in the first place.  But without a belt, he’s not going to get what he wants.

                --Dr. Jigoku.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Final words before this weekend's title match

By AWL tradition, this final blog entry before the AWL Grand Championship is defended, shall be turned over to both the champion and the challenger.

Luke James?  You’re kidding me, right?  That loser?  They idiot cowboy who’s been scraping the edge of the Danger Zone ever since he started wrestling?  He’s fighting my Augment?  Bah!  Waste of time.  Wrestler X will destroy him in less than 5 minutes and my…associate will end the matter permanently.  One less sack of biological inferiority running around the planet.  Now leave me alone, I have work to do.
--Dr. Jigoku

I started wrestling in late 2011.  It was December of that year when I was wrestling at a little show in Nashville that changed my life.  I was working the opening match where I lost to one of the more experienced local guys.  The main event was American Beetle and a guy named Bluegrass Jones against a couple of biker dudes called the Leather Brothers.
                After the show, I was changing back into my civvies in the toilet that was serving as a locker room when American Beetle approached me.    He said he liked my match.  I shook his hand, thanked him, but pointed out that I’d lost.  He said, “Yeah, but that’s ‘cause you’re green as goose shit.  Once you actually know what you’re doing, yer gonna be good at this.”  I laughed and got ready to leave when he dropped the bombshell.
                “Ya follow the AWL kid?”
                “Sure, who doesn’t?”
                “Well, the boss has this 6-man tournament coming up.  Country verses country Olympics kind of thing.  Well, Hassan and I are looking for a 3rd man.  You interested?  It’s 4 months of steady bookings and the office boys take care of all the visa stuff.”
                In my head, I remember being professional and calmly accepting the offer.  In reality, I probably jumped up and down yelling or something.  This was my big break and I knew it.  Summer of 2017 I started in the AWL as a member of Team USA in the World Warrior Exposition (how the heck we didn’t get sued over that name, I’ll never know).
                I’ve been in the AWL for the last 5 years and 9 seasons.  I’ve made good money and I’ve met some great people and made lifelong friends.  One of those friends I was ever lucky enough to share an AWL World’s Tag Team Championship with.  Am I the next Stone Cold?  Probably not, but I’ve had a pretty good career…

…so far!  Yeah, this ain’t no obituary.  I may be goin inta a death match tomorrow, but I ain’t dead yet!  Wrestler X, you wanna copy me?  Well, that’s the biggest mistake you’ve EVER MADE!  Ya see, I’ve been fighting myself my whole life.  I know all of my weaknesses because I’ve had to confront each and every one of ‘em over mah life!
You think you’re the ultimate opponent?  To me, you’re just another weekend.  I know every mistake you’re going to make and Imma ready to kick yer ass and take yer belt!!  At AWL 218, thar’s gonna be a NEW sheriff in town!!!  Yeeeeehaaaaww!!!!!

--Luke James