GWM Press Release

Global Wrestling Monopoly, the world leader in Sports Entertainment, is once again preparing to challenge for the AWL Intercontinental Championship.  But first two of our best will grace the AWL ring with their presence and battle each other to determine who will have the pleasure of dethroning the false tiger and claiming the new GWM IC TITLE!!

--Miss X

The failing awl blog says have 0pts. FAKE NEWS. Great Americans won last week=1pt. We keep winning they keep lying. Sad!

--American Beetle

Points in Play and Play and Play

Last week we failed to find #1 contenders for the AWL World Tag Team Titles.  Titles that have yet to be defended this season.  Well, apparently the AWL Commissioner is sick of this so he has commissioned THREE tag team matches for AWL 208:

The Empire (2) vs. The Great Americans (0)

XyberhawX2000 (0) vs. Los Neko Grande (1)

田中健一 & Mr. Smiles (1) vs. The Menagerie (1)

So The Empire has the chance to earn their third point and three other teams get the chance to move within striking distance of a challenge themselves.  That AWL World Tag Team Champions, Liga Cosmica, are young and untested.  But as the tag team division heats up, it looks like that will soon change.

Gold and Golden.

With AWL 207 in the history books, we have a championship match for next week:

AWL 208:

MAIN EVENT

Sammy Nix (C) vs. Wrestler X (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

2nd Title Defense

Additionally, the AWL Commissioner has planned something HUGE, dare I say, world shattering for our next AWL Supercard, The Golden War 2017.  I know it's called the 究極のサミット or Ultimate Summit. Beyond that, the Commissioner is keeping the details close to his vest. He's even been leaving the office to make some mystery phone calls. Hopefully he'll give us more information between now and Golden Week.

AWL 207: 4 for 1

AWL 207: 4 for 1 投稿者 AWLBoss

Wonders never cease!

As cliché as it is, never say never in professional wrestling.  I speak for the whole office when I say that we were shocked when we came into work this morning to learn that someone had actually volunteered to be Tanaka Kenichi’s tag team partner this weekend against American Beetle and Cage.

Then we saw who that someone was and all shock vanished.

Mr. Smiles!

That’s right, the happiest man in wrestling (to the point of being a naive fool at times) has stepped up.  This makes perfect sense when you realize that Mr. Smiles is the only member of the roster willing to even be seen in public with Tanaka Kenichi, much less speak to time.

So this Sunday the poser and the pleasant will team up against the gaudy insect and the muscle machine.

Is this going to be a tag team classic?   Probably not, but it should be a lot of fun to watch.

The Translation Team HATE this guy.

We received this…rather amusing message from “Thug Life” Tanaka Kenichi a few hours after the AWL Commissioner’s weekly address yesterday:

It’s a bullshit!  Nobody patona!!  THUGLIFE Golden Opportunity GET!  Tag team never.!.!..?

THUGLIFE 4EVA!!

Well, that made every English teacher on two continents vomit blood.  What I think he’s trying to say is that he hasn’t found a partner for the tag team match against American Beetle and Cage this weekend.  He might also be rejecting the match and reminding everyone that he still has a Golden Opportunity from winning the Clash of Styles Tournament last season.

In that case I’ll remind you that AWL Wrestlers are not permitted to refuse to participate in scheduled matches.  To do so constitutes a breach of contract and can result in termination.  Tanaka Kenichi will just have to work harder to find a partner.  In the event that he can’t, I guess the match will go on as a handicap match.  However, in that case, points will not be in play.

We’ll have more on this story as it develops.

Commissioner's (Somewhat) Weekly Address

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  I am the AWL Commissioner.

In my chosen profession as a promoter of professional wrestling I find myself interacting with some…unique…individuals.  American Beetle is one such man…insect…whatever.  Never before have I seen such an abrupt change in anyone, wrestler or not.  For years we have advertised American Beetle as America Personified.  I had thought that this was simple wrestling hyperbole.  However, his complete shift in personality and tactics tell me that recent events in the United States have affected him at a level deeper than anything I could have imagined.

As you know, American Beetle has requested a tag team match for AWL 207.  Well, I have someone that I want to see get beaten up by Cage so why not.  At AWL 207 American Beetle and Cage will face Tanaka Kenichi and a partner of his choosing in tag team action.

Additionally, after what happened during the 4-way match last weekend, I have COMMISSIONED a rematch between Ma-Ji-Ku and Prince Puma to take place this weekend as well.

Finally, the Animated Wrestling League Grand Championship shall be defended in two weeks time.  Therefore, all four members of the AWL Best 4 shall compete in a 4-Way Match with the winner to challenge Sammy Nix the following week.

THIS!  I have COMMISSIONED!!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--XOXO AWL Commissioner

Meanwhile, back at our story.

Before I start today’s news update, I’d like to thank the stars of Chikara for coming out to Japan and helping make AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold) as great as it was.  I’m also happy that I never have to type out that title again!

But it’s time to return to our regularly scheduled programming and time has run out on the 30 suspension of American Beetle.  As you may remember, he was suspended for unsportsmanlike conduct for initiating a brawl backstage between himself and Hassan.  Well, he’ll be cleared to wrestle again this weekend at AWL 207 and he’s requesting a tag team match for himself and his new employee Brian Cage.

The AWL Commissioner has not made the bout official yet, but when and if he does, we’ll bring you that story as soon as we hear about it.

AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold)

AWL 206_ Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold) 投稿者 AWLBoss

Ultramantis Black responds to the AWL Champions

After the last post’s lengthy interview with the champions of the AWL, we’ve received this message from the Grand Champion of Chikara Ultramantis Black:

BEHOLD!  It is I the Great and Devious Ultramantis Black.  And while my dealings with the remnants of the dark forces of Nazmaldun have occupied much of my time and effort as of late, I am by no means negligent of my duties as the Grand Champion.  This Sunday I shall lead the forces of Chikara to the Land of the Rising Sun and we shall march into battle.  Surely, it is a strange and motley crew I find myself traveling with.  A young simian sailor of the stars and two Dickensian degenerates.  But we are champions all and the pride of Chikara flows through each and every one of us.  I have HEARD the  words of the champions of the AWL.  Your confidence, nay your arrogance shall be your downfall for this Sunday you will see our power.  You will see our…Chikara!  HAAAAAAAAA!!!!! 

Interview with the AWL Champions

Something a little unusual today (befitting an unusual week leading into an unusual show).  I had the opportunity to sit down and interview all 4 current AWL champions about their upcoming matches at AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold):

Ryusensei: First of all gentlemen, thanks for sitting down with me and taking time from your training for this interview.  This weekend all of you will step into the ring and defend the honor and pride of the AWL against your counterparts from Chikara.  While none of your titles will be on the line, this is still a high profile event.  I’d like to know what’s going through your heads.  Let’s start with you Mr. Nix

Sammy Nix: Call me Sammy.

Ryusensei: Very well, Sammy, you face the Chikara Grand Champion Ultramantis Black.  Your thoughts on this match?

Sammy Nix: It’s a big freakin’ deal!  Ultramantis Black is one of the best wrestlers on the US east coast and someone I’ve looked up to most of my career.  An’ he’s also been in the AWL before and even held the AWL World’s Heavyweight Title at one point AND he won the 2013 New Year’s Tournament.  Me an’ him are pretty similar.  I’m looking forward to the challenge.

Ryusensei: Any hints as to your strategy for beating him?

Sammy Nix: Dance with what brought ya.  Beat him down, throw him around, and hit the Chimera-plex for the win.

Ryusensei: I understand you’ve asked Lee Masters to remain in the locker room for this match.  Any reason for that?

Sammy Nix: Yeah.  Two of em’.  First, Ultramantis Black has had a stable of guys at his command most of his career, but this Sunday he’s all on his own.  I don’t want to be accused of takin’ an unfair advantage or nothin’.  Second, Lee needs to take care a some personal stuff and this is a perfect chance to take a week off.

Ryusensei: OK, I’m not going to pry.  Next, Tiger-senshu.  You will wrestle Young Lions Cup Champion Space Monkey, any thoughts on this…strange opponent?

Tiger Mask II: When I was Space Monkey’s age, the AWL’s first Tiger Mask took me under his wing and taught me everything I know.  I see this match as a chance to pass on those teachings to the next generation of wrestlers.  I’m confident I’ll win, but it should be a fun match.  And Space Monkey is FAR from the strangest wrestler I’ve ever fought.

Ryusensei: Makes sense.  Speaking of strange opponents, GWM’s Tiger the Dark will be representing that organization in the inter-promotional 4-way match and your tag team partner Prince Puma will be representing Lucha Underground.  Any words of encouragement for Puma?

Tiger Mask II: I wish him success and I would enjoy watching him kick Tiger the Dark in the face.

Ryusensei’ Nothing else to be said there I guess.  Last but not least, Liga Cosmica, you have Crummels and Defarge, the team that unseated Mustache Mountain to become Campeones de Parejas.  Tag team wrestling is probably the think Chikara is best known for, their home turf so to speak.  Does that make you worried?

Estrella Dorada: …..

Ryusensei: O…K…Erupcion Solar, anything?

Erupcion Solar: Our two teams aren’t that different.  Both young in the sport and holding tag team gold early in our careers.  However, the difference is in out styles.  They have made good use out of a few basic techniques where as we come from a multigenerational history that we can draw from.  That history, the soul of lucha libre, is what will bring us victory this Sunday.

Ryusensei: Anybody have anything else they’d like to say?

Sammy Nix: Yes.  Chikara, we all like you.  Yer great wresters and your promotion has done some of the most innovative stuff in wrestling history.  But this is the AWL.  We are the best wrestling in Japan if not tha world!  Our boss invited you onto our turf and that means, respect aside, yer gonna get your asses kicked.

Full Card for AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold) and yes, you have to say the whole thing.

Greetings grapple fans!  This is your AWL Event Center (no it isn’t and if you keep stealing their lines we might get sued).

Shut up voice in my head.  Anyway, here’s the full card for next weekend’s AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold):

AWL 206: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold)

MAIN EVENT

Sammy Nix (AWL) vs. Ultramantis Black (力)

Grand Champion vs. Grand Champion

Non-Title Match

Liga Cosmica (AWL) vs. Crummels and Defarge (力)

AWL World Tag Team Champions vs. Los Campeones de Parajas

Non-Title Match

Tiger Mask II (AWL) vs. Space Monkey (力)

AWL IC Champion vs. YLC Champion

Non-Title Match

新時代 vs. Xyberhawx 2000

Trios Match!

Special Inter-Promotional 4-Way Match

Ma-Ji-Ku (AWL) vs. Kobald (力) vs. Prince Puma (LU) vs Tiger the Dark (GWM)

Continuity Note: This event will take place in the present day AFTER the events of Secret Season 17.

AWL 205: Tiger Mask II vs. Red Death Mask

AWL 205: Tiger Mask II vs. Red Death Mask 投稿者 AWLBoss

Full Card for AWL 205.

AWL 205:

MAIN EVENT

Tiger Mask II (C) vs. Red Death Mask w/Miss X

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

2^nd Title Defense

Last week Red Death Mask defeated his GWM compatriot Yellow Devil to earn this title match.  However, as you all read earlier this week, this is about a LOT more than just the championship to Tiger Mask II.  This is about the future of professional wrestling itself.

The Destroyers of DOOM! (0) vs. Ophidian & Space Monkey (0)

Points in Play

In preparation for the upcoming AWL: Chikara Special (The Show Not The Hold), the two most recent visitors from the Wrestle Factory have chosen to join forces and officially register as a tag team!  Apparently they are to be collectively referred to as “The Menagerie.”  They face former AWL World’s Tag Team Champions looking to get back on the board and earn their first point.

Wrestler X vs. Wyvern (#4)

After being pinned in tag team action last weekend, losing The Augments both of their points, Wrestler X must prove himself to Dr. Jigoku and so has challenged the #4 Contender in the AWL Best 4, Wyvern.  If Wyvern loses this match, he will forfeit his rank to Wrestler X.  If Wrestler X loses this match…

The New Classics (2) vs. The Empire (0)

Points in Play

The eternal quest for 3 points continues as the AWL Grand Champion and his tag team partner face the British Bashers with a shot at Liga Cosmica and the AWL World’s Tag Team Championship in the balance.

Mr. Smiles vs. Hasaiki

For the first time in Season 11, the unpredictable Hasaiki enters the ring.  This will be the first time we’ve seen Hasaiki since he injured Hifumi Ryuji late last season, an injury that caused the Prince of the Pinfall to miss last season’s finale AND the New Year’s Tournament.  He faces Mr. Smiles, also freshly returned after the hellacious beating he suffered at the hands of Yellow Devil a few weeks ago.

It all happens at AWL 205 in less than 24 hours!

力Special!

Happy Friday wrestling fans!  And a very happy Friday it is too because I have an incredible announcement to make.

This year, one of the AWL Commissioner’s goals has been the inclusion of more outside talent in the AWL.  So far the biggest result of this has been our increased partnership with Chikara.  Ophidian competing in the New Year’s Tournament, Space Monkey debuting in AWL competition, and now this:

In just over a week, at AWL 206, the Animated Wrestling League will proudly present AWL: CHIKARA SPECIAL (The Show, Not The Hold)!

5 Matches that will each pit AWL Wrestlers vs. Chikara Wrestlers including all 3 Chkara champions facing their AWL counterparts plus exhibitions of the art style that Chikara has perfected over the years, the multi-man match.

The exact card will be released next week, but in the meantime, stay tuned tomorrow for the full card for AWL 205.

A message from Tiger Mask II

Greetings wrestling fans.  This morning I received a message from the AWL Intercontinental Champion Tiger Mask II.  This weekend at AWL 205, he defends his championship against Red Death Mask.

This message has been translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

Ever since the original Tiger Mask turned away from the Tiger’s Den the Tiger Mask Dynasty has existed to protect the wrestling world from the forces of darkness.  The original destroyed the Tiger’s Den, but now they have returned.  They call themselves Global Wrestling Monopoly but I have reason to believe that the evils of old have resurfaced.  There is another Tiger protecting New Japan Pro Wrestling.  But the AWL is MY territory and protecting it is MY duty!  I will not allow them to gain a foothold in the AWL!  I have already slain their giant.  Now they send me a demon.  Either way, the story will be the same, I will resist you and GWM will fall at my feet and by my claws!

AWL 204: Hassan vs. X

AWL 204: Hassan vs. X 投稿者 AWLBoss

Full Card for AWL 204

After all the chaos around the office this week, we finally have the full card for AWL 204:

AWL 204:

MAIN EVENT

Hassan (#1) vs. X

The Augments (2) vs. The New Classics (1)

Points in Play

HAKAISHA! vs, Wyvern

Fight for 4

Jack Butcher (#2) vs. Space Monkey

Red Death Mask vs. Yellow Devil

GWM Rules Match

Winner challenges Tiger Mask II for the AWL Intercontinental Championship next week!

Late post on a busy news week.

Greetings wrestling fans.  I’m sorry for the lack of news posts this week, but sometimes it’s best to take the time and make sure you get your reporting right.  Several major stories have broken in the last 72 hours that directly impact this weekend’s AWL 204 event.  Here’s the sequence of events as best as I’ve been able to assemble them.

Monday Morning:

AWL Senior Medical Official Dr. Marcus Feelgood has cleared Hassan to wrestle this weekend!!  This diagnosis is a few days ahead of schedule so we are all happy that the Arab American Dream has made such a full and speedy recovery.

Monday Afternoon:

Hassan officially requested a match with American Beetle for AWL 204.  However, since American Beetle is one week into a 30 day suspension for unsportsmanlike conduct (that resulted in Hassan’s injury in the first place), the AWL Commissioner refused the request.

Tuesday Morning:

American Beetle tweeted to the AWL Commissioner that he has hired a new chief advisor and body man who would be happy to wrestle Hassan on his behalf.  The only condition is that the identity of this individual must remain classified until the day of AWL 204.

Tuesday Afternoon:

After consulting with Hassan, the AWL Commissioner agrees to book the match for AWL 204.  Therefore we can safely assume Hassan has agreed to the match.  It’s important to remember that Hassan is still #1 contender in the AWL Best 4, so if he loses to American Beetle’s presumably unranked mystery man that will impact his ranking.

The next couple of says were spent running things by the lawyers.

So the match is made, Hassan vs. whoever American Beetle has found/paid off to pinch hit for him.