Danger Zone Update

It’s getting down to the wire:

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 217
American Beetle	45	-65	-20	DANGER ZONE	LOCKED
Tanaka Kenichi	38	-51	-13	DANGER ZONE	LOCKED	G.O.
Mr. Smiles	7	-17	-10	DANGER ZONE	LOCKED
Cage	2	-10	-8	DANGER ZONE
El Rudo Rojo	39	-47	-8	DANGER ZONE
Luke James	37	-44	-7

We now know who 3 of the 4 men risking their careers in Batsumania are.  But the last slot is yet to determined.  Normally we would have a match between Cage and El Rudo Rojo to determine the final member…but not this season.

Just this morning the AWL Commissioner announced to the the office that Hassan has requested one more match between himself and American Beetle to settle the score between them.  Considering that this might be American Beetle’s last season with the AWL (He can’t escape Batsumania forever), the Commissioner has agreed on one condition.  Hassan must defeat Cage in single combat first.

Despite the apparent dissention between the so-called Great Americans last week, Cage is still officially on American Beetle’s payroll.  So, the match has been signed:

Hassan vs Cage

If Hassan wins, he faces American Beetle at AWL 219.

If Cage wins, he is SAFE from the Danger Zone.

GWM UNIVERSE!

Very soon your GWM World’s Heavyweight Champion, Tiger the Great III will take the top belt of the AWL and that pathetic excuse for a wrestling show will fall into the dustbin of history.  Maybe they’ll eventually get their own episode of Wrestling With Wregret or something.

We are already planning what we’re going to do with our winnings.  Following the end of the Animated Wrestling League, we will begin broadcasting GWM WRESTLEMAX JAPAN on Dailymotion in the AWL’s former timeslot.

We may or may not pick up the odd AWL talent contract, but that’s a matter decided far above my head.

But don’t worry GWM Universe, soon you’ll have some real Superstars to be sports entertained by.

--Miss X

Tag Team matches set for AWL 218!

If we don’t find challengers for the tag team titles this week, the AWL Commissioner will have no choice but to book a tag team gauntlet match for AWL 219.  In such a gauntlet match, teams enter baised on the number of points they have coming in.  So, it’s important to settle the pack now.

Team Victory (2) vs. The New Classics (1)

Points in Play

Destroyers of DOOM! (1) vs. Team GWM (1)

Points in Play

XyberhawX2000 (0) vs. Yamada Jiro & Hasaiki (0)

Points in Play

So, the only team with a chance to challenge The Empire at AWL 220 without a tag team gauntlet is Team Victory.  The last time Chiba Akagi and Hifumi Ryuji fought The New Classics, Chiba made Sammy Nix tap in about two minutes.  Will history repeat itself this weekend?  Tune in and find out!

Main Evend Grand Championship Match set for AWL 218!

                For better or for worse, it’s official.  Luke James (of all people) will be the final challenger to the AWL Grand Championship before Tiger the Great III cashes in his IC title at AWL 220.

AWL 218

MAIN EVENT:

Wrestler X (C) vs. Luke James (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

   

             And we all know the stakes of this match.  If Wrestler X scores a clean (pin or submission win) on Luke James, James will have proven himself…”inferior” and Dr. Jigoku will use whatever mysterious power the AWL Grand Championship gives him to summon the monster we’ve all come to know as “The Skull Head Killer” and even with Ganba in his corner, I don’t think Luke James has a chance in hell of surviving an encounter with that thing.

                This is why I never became a wrestler, I’m not this suicidal.  Still, best of luck to The Peacemaker.  He’s going to need it.

AWL 217: HAKAISHA! vs. Luke James

AWL 217: HAKAISHA! vs. Luke James 投稿者 AWLBoss

Full Card for AWL 217!

AWL 217

Main Event

HAKAISHA! (#1) vs. Luke James (#2)

Rank on the Line

Liga Cosmica (2) vs. Team Victory (1)

Points in Play/Fight for 4

The New Classics (0) vs. The Great Americans (0)

Points in Play

Ganba vs. Tiger the Great III

AWL vs. GWM

Non-Title Match

El Rudo Rojo vs. Mr. Smiles

Danger Zone Match

Danger Zone Update

You all know the drill by now:

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 216
American Beetle	45	-64	-19	DANGER ZONE	LOCKED
Tanaka Kenichi	38	-51	-13	DANGER ZONE	G.O.	LOCKED
El Rudo Rojo	38	-47	-9	DANGER ZONE
Mr. Smiles	7	-16	-9	DANGER ZONE
Luke James	36	-44	-8

If you’re wondering, G.O. stands for Golden Opportunity.

As things stand, American Beetle and Tanaka Kenichi are LOCKED in the Danger Zone and it would only take one loss (Such as in this weekend’s main event) to send Luke James tumbling back down.  

Additionally, this match has been added to this weekend’s AWL 217 event:

El Rudo Rojo vs. Mr. Smiles

Danger Zone Match

Unfinished Business

A special singles match has been added to AWL 217.  Stemming from last week’s unsatisfying count out conclusion, Ganba will once again face Tiger the Great III.  Sadly, it must be a non-title match as The GWM champion has already made his declaration of challenge for AWL 220.

Two Tag Team Matches Announced!

Setting aside the craziness of the AWL/GWM situation for the moment, we are still looking for a tag team to challenge The Empire for the AWL World’s Tag Team Championships at AWL 220.  As part of that search, the AWL Commissioner has announced two tag team matches for this weekend:

Liga Cosmica (2) vs. Team Victory (1)

Points in Play/Fight for 4

The New Classics (0) vs. The Great Americans (0)

Points in Play

Yes, you read that correctly.  A tag team Fight for 4!  The AWL Commissioner has decided to test the teamwork of these two young tag teams because the winner of the fall (the wrestler who makes the pin or submission) will enter the AWL Best 4.  Beyond that, there’s a chance Erupcion Solar and Estrella Dorada will earn their third point and face their longtime rivals again for the titles at the season finale.

However, if we don’t have tag team #1 contenders by AWL 119, a Tag Team Gauntlet Match will determine who faces the brits for the belts.

Main event announced for AWL 220!

Wrestling fans, it is my sad duty to inform you that Global Wrestling Monopoly World’s Heavyweight Champion and Animated Wrestling League Intercontinental Champion Tiger the Great III has made his chosen to cash-in (as is his right) the intercontinental championship at the Season 11 Finale:

AWL 220

MAIN EVENT

Wrestler X (C) vs. Tiger the Great III (IC)

AWL Grand Championship Match

Intercontinental Championship Cash-in

Match to be contested under GWM Rules.

GWM Rules means that there will be no time limit, no disqualifications, and no count outs.  The only way to win is pinfall or submission in the ring.

Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, this is nothing less than a war for the survival of the Animated Wrestling League itself.  If we lose the Grand Championship…what are the AWL Wrestlers going to fight for?  What would our purpose be?

The sickening part is that we are forced to rely on one of the enemies of the AWL, Dr. Jigoku and his undeserving Augments to fight for us.

Or are we?

AWL 117 MAIN EVENT:

HAKAISHA! (#1) vs. Luke James (#2)

Rank on the Line

AWL 118 MAIN EVENT:

Wrestler X (C) vs. Winner of AWL 117 Main Event

AWL Grand Championship Match

4^th Title Defense

I, for one, would feel a lot better if The Japanese Destroyer or even The Peacemaker were fighting for the AWL than a professional cheater and fraud like Wrestler X.

AWL 216: The Third vs. The World!

AWL 216: The Third vs. The World 投稿者 AWLBoss

5 Challengers Announced!

It’s still all about the unprecedented AWL Intercontinental quintuple title defense set to take up the entire broadcast window of AWL 216.  And as of today we know the names of the 5 wrestlers who will face Tiger the Great III for the IC title.  They are, in order:

1. Mr. Smiles.

2. Wyvern

3. Prince Puma

4. Ma-Ji-Ku

5. Ganba

I think we were all expecting a who’s who of the Animated Wrestling League and some of these names certainly qualify.  Ganba and Wyvern are former Grand Champions and Ma-Ji-Ku is the longest reigning champion of any kind in AWL history.  As for Prince Puma, he’s a former Lucha Underground singles and trios champion.  Plus, he was the first winner of Aztec Warfare, so he’s used to unusual matches…But he’s not a full time AWL Wrestler.  Then there’s Mr. Smiles, who makes absolutely NO sense in this situation.

I was able to get a couple of seconds with the AWL Commissioner and asked him about both Puma and Smiles.

“Prince Puma is Tiger Mask II’s friend.  As for Mr. Smiles, winning the Animated Wrestling League Intercontinental Championship automatically saves him from the Danger Zone.  I want the challengers to be properly motivated.  Revenge and self-preservation certainly qualify as proper motivation to me.”

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, right from the booker’s mouth.  We have out challengers and this Sunday at AWL 216, we’re taking that title back!

Some details.

We’re all still reeling from yesterday’s blockbuster announcement that GWM’s Tiger the Great III will defend his AWL IC Title gauntlet style against 5 opponents to be chosen by the AWL Commissioner.  If, by some miracle, he succeeds he will have the 5 victories necessary to cash in the IC title for an automatic shot at the AWL Grand Championship.

We don’t have any news yet on the 5 challengers, but I have been informed that some tag team matches are being scheduled in case this IC Gauntlet doesn’t last the entire show.

Additionally, the former AWL Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Mask II, has officially submitted a leave of absence from the AWL.  According to his associate and sometimes manager Spring Tiger he has returned to the Tiger’s Cave (his personal good guy’s version of the Tiger’s Den) to refocus his mind and body on his training.  I speak for the entire AWL Roster and staff when I say that we hope he returns to action as soon as possible.

Behind the scenes.

In a highly unusual turn of events, the AWL Commissioner has released the transcript of a meeting between himself and Miss X of GWM.  We’ve selected the relevant portions and edited out the pleasantries and corporate BS.

AWL Commissioner: He wants...what?

Miss X: Why, to defend his championship of course.  Or do the Japanese not understand the concept of a fighting champion?

AWL Commissioner: Better than the Americans we do.  However, what you are asking is not only unprecedented, it is impossible.

Miss X: Only because you’ve never had an Intercontinental Champion who could do it.  But this is no great challenge for the GWM World’s Heavyweight Champion.  Besides, AWL 220 is so close, what else can he do?  There’s not enough time otherwise and you know it.

AWL Commissioner: I think you are both out of your minds.  But very well, if he is that desperate to lose the title, who am I to refuse?  You do realize I have sole authority to determine the challengers, yes?

Miss X: Of course.  It doesn’t matter either way.

AWL Commissioner: Oh, and neither you nor any member of your little promotion will be permitted at ringside.  If your champion is so strong, let him stand upon his own paws.

Miss X: …Agreed.  Next weekend?

AWL Commissioner: Indeed.  AWL 216.  Tiger the Great the Third shall attempt to make FIVE defenses of the Animated Wrestling League Intercontinental Championship in a single event!  THIS!  I have COMMISSIONED!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Miss X: Do you really have to scream like that?  I thought that was just for your little blog.

Memory of a friend.

This message has been translated from the original Japanese by the AWL Translation Team.

                I first met Jack when I joined up with Yarina Talent Management Inc.   She introduced us as training and future tag team partners.  First impression?  I was shocked that he was taller than me.  I don’t look up to many people including most foreigners I’ve met.  I couldn’t understand his English at first because of his accent, but he was eager to learn Japanese so we helped each other.  It was a great way to bond as partners.  To this day I think that’s why we were undefeated tag team champions.  We understood each other.

                What I didn’t understand was that he had a violence in his heart.  After our matches, he would always go straight to the gym and smash at least one piece of equipment.  Yarina would end up paying a LOT of hush money to a lot of gyms and hotels over the years.  But eventually his darkness and the fact that Yarina kept encouraging him were part of why I left YTM Inc.

                We didn’t talk much after that, but I always hoped he would find peace.  So, I was happy when he left the AWL for a season to go on a walkabout.  But he came back darker than ever.  He had embraced the violence in his heart and he wasn’t the same man any more. 

                Wherever he is now, I hope he is at peace.  Rest well my friend, you will be avenged.  I have a title match coming up and I’m going to stop the Augments.  For you, for me, for all of us.

                Long live Crisis Gundan!

--HAKAISHA!

AWL 215: Wrestler X vs. Jack Butcher

AWL 215: Wrestler X vs. Jack Butcher 投稿者 AWLBoss

Full Card for AWL 215

5 matches with 2 title matches on the card for AWL 215:

AWL 215:

MAIN EVENT

Wrestler X (C) vs. Jack Butcher

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

Semi-Final

Tiger Mask II (C) vs. Tiger the Great III

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

Final Title Defense

Luke James (#3) vs. Wyvern

Rank on the Line

Azteckaizer NEO vs. Sammy Nix

Fight for 4

Mr. Smiles vs. THUGLIFE Tanaka Kenichi

Danger Zone Match

This is where I would usually turn the post over to champion and challenger to promote the main event title match…but neither Jack Butcher nor Dr. Jigoku are returning my calls.  Fortunately (or unfortunately), the spotlight hounds at GWM were more than happy to fill in the gap:

The World’s Heavyweight Champion and next AWL Intercontinental Champion, Tiger the Great III wishes to address the GWM Universe.  This is a rare honor.  Be grateful to those who make the shows you love!!

--Miss X

I desire a challenge.  AWL, GWM, New Japan, Chikara, WWE, send me your best and I will break them.  For now, I will sacrifice the false tiger.  Then, I’m coming for Wrestler X.  The idea of fighting myself is…intriguing.

--Tiger the Great III

Danger Zone Update

One week closer to AWL 220 means another look at the bottom of the win-loss rankings.  This is the AWL Danger Zone:

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 214
American Beetle	45	-64	-19	DANGER ZONE LOCKED
Tanaka Kenichi	38	-50	-12	GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
El Rudo Rojo	38	-47	-9	DANGER ZONE
Luke James	35	-44	-9	DANGER ZONE
Mr. Smiles	6	-15	-9	DANGER ZONE

 

American Beetle is LOCKED.  Tanaka Kenichi will join him if he doesn’t use his Golden Opportunity before the Batsumania Match opens AWL 220.  Otherwise, it’s a three way tie for the last two slots.  Two will fall, one will rise and the next step happens in just a couple of days with this match, just added to the card for AWL 215:

THUGLIFE Tanaka Kenichi vs. Mr. Smile.

DANGER ZONE MATCH

Best 4 Continues

Before I begin today’s news post, the AWL Commissioner has asked me to convey the following message in these exact words: Miss X, you are a worthless excuse for a wrestling promoter and your champion is not worthy of the AWL Ring.  I am only allowing this match to take place because Tiger Mask II has requested it.  But it shall be the semi-final match.  That is all you are worth.  Bitch!

Well, strong words from the man who signs my paycheck and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

On to today’s news post, two more matches have been added to AWL 215 and both involve the AWL Best 4.  The first is fairly straight forward:

Azteckaizer Neo vs. Sammy Nix

Fight for 4

Both men have earned their way into this match via their career win-loss records.  The second match is a little more unusual:

Luke James (#3) vs. Wyvern

Rank on the Line

What’s unusual about this match is that if Wyvern wins, he will take the #3 contender’s spot.  

Hopefully, this rematch will settle the issues that arose between the Peacemaker and the Young Dragon last month.

One last point before I sign off for the day.  Over the last couple of days I’ve gotten several questions from AWL fans and the wrestling media about why we’re continuing with the Best 4 system with the Skull Head Killer on the loose again.

Last time The Augments controlled the AWL Grand Championship we caved.  We allowed Dr. Jigoku to set the rules.  Not this time!  We will not give in to fear!!  Every single one of our AWL Wrestlers put their lives on the line every time they step into the ring.  And all of them want to be champion.  The show will go on.

We are not afraid.

TRUE Main Event Announced

GWM Universe!  This Sunday, Global Wrestling Monopoly proudly presents the REAL main event:

MAIN EVENT:

Tiger the Great III (GWM Hvwt. Champion) vs. Tiger Mask II (AWL IC Champion)

AWL Intercontinental Championship Match

Final Title Defense

Watch as The Third…no…Tiger the Great III becomes the first Superstar in history to hold championships in BOTH GWM and the AWL.

You will be sports entertained!

--Miss X

Next Title Match Announced!

I have a bad feeling about this.  But the AWL Commissioner has announced that the AWL Grand Championship will be defended this Sunday at AWL 215:

MAIN EVENT

Wrestler X (C) vs. Jack Butcher (#1)

AWL Grand Championship Match

3^rd Title Defense

We know that if Jack Butcher is defeated, the Skull Head Killer will appear.  Walking into a match with your equal in strength and skill with stakes this high would seem to be madness.  But Jack Butcher is pretty nuts.  Just look at the message he sent in after the match was announced to the staff and AWL Roster:

The greatest hunt of my life.  Gold.  Glory.  Greatness.  But prey comes in many forms.  How many hunters can say they’ve conquered death itself?  I will be immortal! 

--Jack Butcher

At roughly the same time after the announcement of the title match, Ganba reiterated his offer to act as corner man and coach.  There has been no official response as far as I know, but considering how firmly the offer was rejected last time, I doubt anything will change.

I don’t want to say this, but the truth is unconcerned with what I or anyone else wants.  Tune in to AWL 215 for a title change…or a funeral.

AWL 214: AWL vs. Augments

AWL 214: AWL vs. Augments 投稿者 AWLBoss

It's better than the Bailey this is your life segment!

Full Card and an A-hole

This is the full and final card for AWL 214:

AWL 214

MAIN EVENT

AWL All Stars vs. The Augments

Trios Match

オカダカズチカ & Tiger Mask II (0) vs. 山田二郎 & 破砕機

Points in Play

T49P (2) vs. Team GWM (0)

Points in Play

The New Classics (0) vs. Team Victory (0)

Points in Play

The Great Americans (0) vs. Liga Cosmica (1)

Points in Play

And this just added:

El Rudo Rojo vs. THUGLIFE田中健一

Danger Zone Match

Breaking news coming in right now as I’ve been typing this.  We’ve received a message from…oh you have GOT to be kidding me!

What happened at AWL 213 was natural selection in action.  Tiny failed to win the AWL Grand Championship.  He was unworthy of survival.  The creature you plebeians call “The Skull Head Killer” is…how do I put this in terms you will understand…a cosmic janitor.  A living extinction event.  Something that comes in an sweeps away the leftovers of the evolutionary process.

Know this!  Any who fail to prove themselves worthy by taking the Grand Championship from my Augment will face sign their own death warrant.  And since all AWL Contracts expressly waive liability in case of any injury or even death in the ring, there’s nothing your ridiculous laws can do to stop me either!

So, come all ye challengers.  Come and prove us…SUPERIOR!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

--Dr. Jigoku

Editorial Note: F*** that guy!

Return of the Danger Zone!

It’s hard to believe, but the Season 11 Finale is only a month and a half away.  That means it’s well past time to look at the Batsumania DANGER ZONE:

Wrestler	Win	Loss	Total	as of AWL 213
American Beetle	45	-63	-18	DANGER ZONE	LOCKED
Tanaka Kenichi	38	-49	-11	GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY
El Rudo Rojo	37	-47	-10	DANGER ZONE
Luke James	34	-44	-10	DANGER ZONE
Mr. Smiles	5	-15	-10	DANGER ZONE
Cage	2	-7	-5	Temple

In summation, American Beetle is stuck.  He can no longer win enough matches to save himself from wrestling in yet another Batsumania match.  His only hope is to become a champion or #1 contender between now and AWL 220.

Tanaka Kenichi, El Rudo Rojo, Luke James, and Mr. Smiles are left battling it out for the last 3 slots in the career threatening match.  There’s only one victory separating the four of them so it’s all to play for between now and the end of the season.  Also of note, Tanaka Kenichi still has the Golden Opportunity that he won last season.  If push comes to shove, I assume he will use it to book himself in a match for AWL 220 and thereby escape the Danger Zone.  Of course, that assumes he has the brains of a hubcap…so who knows what he’ll do.

FOUR Tag Team Matches Announced!

You read that title correctly.  The AWL Commissioner has booked a near unprecedented 4 tag team matches for this weekend’s AWL 214 event.  Obviously, this is an attempt to inject some extra points into the tag team division.  But there’s a lot more to it than that.

オカダカズチカ & Tiger Mask II (0) vs. 山田二郎 & Hasaiki (0)

This match came about because NJPW wouldn’t authorize a one on one match between the IWGP Heavyweight Champion and Yamada Jiro.  As pissed off as they were after the unprovoked attack by Yamada two weeks ago, I’m surprised they agreed to a tag team match.  And before anyone says anything, I’ll be honest, the combination of Yamada Jiro and Hasaiki doesn’t make much sense to me either, but when you have as few friends as Yamada has, you can’t be picky.

In other tag team related news, we finally have a team name for Hassan and Kid Canada:

T49P (2) vs. Team GWM (0)

Apparently, T49P stand for Team 49^th Parallel.

The New Classics (0) vs. Team Victory (0)

The Great Americans (0) vs. Liga Cosmica (1)

Of course, Points are in Play in all four of these matches.

It’s going to be a packed night (seriously, at present I count 22 wrestlers booked for the show and it's only Thursday!) in the AWL Arena for AWL 214!