Sunday, July 7, 2013

AWL Wrestler Profile: THUG LIFE Tanaka Kenichi

 “THUG LIFE” Tanaka Kenichi
              From: “The Mean Streets” of Niigata.
              Record: 3-5
              Finisher: Niigata Street Cutter
              Affiliation: Wild Pack Returns/The Best (Former)
              Style: None
              Championships: None.
              You’re kidding me!  Do I really have to write a profile for this yutz?  OK, fine.  Tanaka Kenichi was born and raised in the northern Japan prefecture of Niigata.  Contrary to whatever he chooses to tell you, he comes from a rural village populated mainly by rice farmers.
              A delinquent in school, he and his friends adopted a “gangsta” persona copied from American movies, TV, and music.  They all came from middle class families and were about as “gangsta” as Wesley Crusher.
After failing to get into high school (Japanese compulsory education ends after middle school), Tanaka Kenichi moved to Tokyo to try and live out his gangsta (or Thug Life) fantasy.  Apparently, said fantasy mostly boiled down to handing out packets of tissues outside a train station for minimum wage.
Outside that train station was exactly where he was discovered by Bruce Hoyt and then AWL Wrestler Rick Flare.  Flare and Hoyt (collectively known as “The Best”) were in the midst of a feud with The Technicos and they needed a third man for a trios match against Masters, Nix, and Matt Classic.  They walked out of the train station and grabbed the first guy they saw that looked kind of in shape and said “You wanna be a wrestler?”
Seriously.  That was it.
              As you might expect, The Technicos won that particular feud and that should have been the end of “THUG LIFE” Tanaka Kenichi’s wrestling career.  But the AWL claimed he saw some potential in this less than loveable loser and decided to keep him around.  To this day, no one is quite sure why.
              Recently, Tanaka has been tag teaming with Wolf as “Wild Pack Returns” (a reimagining of the original Wild Pack combination of Wolf and Bubba Reese).  However, Wolf’s lack of teamwork and Tanaka’s lack of skill have led to precious few victories.
              Will Season 4 be the season of THUG LIFE?
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No.

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